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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's dying isn't she?

610 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 07/11/2025 23:15

Mum discharged herself from hospital today.

Hiatus hernia. She can't eat or drink anything. Literally throws it straight back up.

Can't walk because her lower back is buggered.

UTI in blood. Been given antibiotics but nothing seems to be giving her a boost.

Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E. Not slept for at least 48. Said she just wanted to go home.

I'm really scared 😭

MNHQ EDIT to gently suggest that MNers new to this thread take the time to read through all of the OP's posts before answering

OP posts:
Testing123546 · 11/11/2025 08:37

I’m so sorry about your treatment you received.
I am not surprised however, I had a family member call for an ambulance who didn’t come. They unfortunately passed away 30 minutes later.

I hope now your mum is in hospital, she will receive the care she needs x

Freysimo · 11/11/2025 08:14

I'm so sorry OP. Your instincts were right, over the "professionals". I hope mum is OK and she's lucky to have you to advocate for her.

Rightsraptor · 11/11/2025 08:11

Thank you for the update. I hadn't posted but was following it.

Such dreadful service from the NHS but Im glad you stuck to your guns and I really hope all turns out to be benign. X

NewAgeNewMe · 11/11/2025 07:47

Oh bless you. Sending positive thoughts your way for your mum and you x

alphabetQ · 11/11/2025 07:30

So the GP didn't even call you with the results?! You called them?!

I wish I was surprised by this level of negligence, but I'm not. I'm so sorry you all are going through this and I hope your mum is able to make a full recovery.

TheBerry · 11/11/2025 07:16

So sorry OP but glad she’s in hospital getting help now finally. I keep hearing so many stories like this. It makes me so angry how shit the NHS is and how much of a battle it is to get help.

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 11/11/2025 07:11

Hi all.

Apologies, it's been a bit mental.

So ambulance on Saturday refused to take her in so we spent Saturday and Sunday at home with no improvement.

Yesterday called GP who said her blood tests on Friday were very abnormal and to call 999 for ambulance. Paramedics got there and after an hour of heated, but polite debate they reluctantly took her In.

Blood tests showed infection markers were higher than they were on Friday and then now think the back pain isn't just because of the wear and tear as per the X-ray and it's either an infection in her spine or cancer.

They found her a bed within 30 minutes.IV fluids as still hasn't eaten anything and IV antibiotics.

MRI later today 😔

OP posts:
Coachgirl · 09/11/2025 18:03

Hope your mum is doing OK OP ❤️

MrsPrendergast · 09/11/2025 15:17

@McSteamyorMcdreamy How's Mum?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 09/11/2025 13:32

anyolddinosaur · 09/11/2025 09:46

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne Read OPs posts. Said an ambulance had taken her in but no update since.

Sorry, I missed that.

anyolddinosaur · 09/11/2025 09:46

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne Read OPs posts. Said an ambulance had taken her in but no update since.

Lanzarotelady · 09/11/2025 09:12

MikeRafone · 08/11/2025 20:50

When there weren't bed in the city hospital there were in the town hospital 10 miles away.

Show quote history

And do you not think they will be earmarked for the patients in their A&E or assessment units?

Coachgirl · 09/11/2025 00:00

Lanzarotelady · 08/11/2025 13:41

Mumsnet is obsessed with sepsis!
Not every infection leads to sepsis!

Show quote history

Mumsnet being 'obsessed' with sepsis is what saved a posters life a few years ago when she posted from her bed feeling incredibly unwell, not dissimilar to the OP's mum.

It hadn't occurred to her that she may have been septic and wouldn't have called herself an ambulance had she not been strongly encouraged to do so.

As a sepsis survivor myself I'm always glad to see people asking "could it be sepsis?"

It saves lives.

Crikeyalmighty · 08/11/2025 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Murphs1 · 08/11/2025 23:24

I would definitely take her back, she’s obviously very unwell and sounds like she needs admitting to hospital for treatment. If she vomiting she is not going to feel better any time soon without appropriate treatment. Trust your instincts and persuade your mum to go back x

Mischance · 08/11/2025 22:48

It is a huge shame that she did not stay to be admitted. I have been in the situation of sitting in A&E overnight waiting for a bed to be freed up.... several times. It really is the only way to get admitted nowadays. You need to take her back and persuade her to sit it out this time.

SpinandSing · 08/11/2025 21:36

I really hope that's she ok and gets the care she needs x

Pancakeflipper · 08/11/2025 21:32

Hope things are going OK and your mum is getting medical.help.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/11/2025 21:16

anyolddinosaur · 08/11/2025 21:00

Hopefully she is in a bed now.

Well, that can only happen if she went back to the hospital.........

CagneyNYPD1 · 08/11/2025 21:16

I hope your mum is getting help now @McSteamyorMcdreamyand keeping everything crossed that she recovers very quickly.

anyolddinosaur · 08/11/2025 21:00

Hopefully she is in a bed now.

MikeRafone · 08/11/2025 20:50

Lanzarotelady · 08/11/2025 13:44

where is this magical hospital that will have more beds???

Show quote history

When there weren't bed in the city hospital there were in the town hospital 10 miles away.

Lovelyview · 08/11/2025 20:36

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 08/11/2025 12:50

Okay so I don't want to alarm you and I considered whether or not I should post this as I don't want to worry you but this exact thing happened to my Mum. Same symptoms, same issues.

The back ache that was giving her so much pain was the UTI had spread to her kidneys. We called an ambulance because she was in so much pain and delirious. She was put on intravenous antibiotics but the infection turned to sepsis. The hospital were quick to notice the sepsis and treated her quickly but my Mum passed away. It happened so quickly and it was devastating how quickly the sepsis got hold of her. There was nothing else the hospital could do for her. My Mum was only 69.

Please make sure they take this seriously. Mention her kidneys, and please, please ask 'could this be sepsis?' and if they say no ask how they can be sure.

I am hoping and praying that its just a nasty UTI that can be sorted quickly and without issue but I couldn't read your post without saying something and making you aware of what happened to my beautiful Mumma.

Sending best wishes and positive vibes. xx

Edited

I'm sorry for your loss. That sounds harrowing.

CheeriosOrFrosties · 08/11/2025 20:20

Hope she is ok @McSteamyorMcdreamy

Lanzarotelady · 08/11/2025 13:44

MikeRafone · 08/11/2025 08:09

agree

my grandmother had a UTI and she was hallucinating, thought she was in the workhouse and her son had died.

can you take her to another A&E where possibly the hospital will have beds?

this is such a wretched time for you and hope things are better today

Show quote history

where is this magical hospital that will have more beds???