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AIBU?

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Original poster

She's dying isn't she?

610 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 07/11/2025 23:15

Mum discharged herself from hospital today.

Hiatus hernia. She can't eat or drink anything. Literally throws it straight back up.

Can't walk because her lower back is buggered.

UTI in blood. Been given antibiotics but nothing seems to be giving her a boost.

Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E. Not slept for at least 48. Said she just wanted to go home.

I'm really scared 😭

MNHQ EDIT to gently suggest that MNers new to this thread take the time to read through all of the OP's posts before answering

OP posts:
Nefrititi · 14/11/2025 19:30

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 14/11/2025 19:23

Just had a call from my sister. The ate a whole cauliflower floret with cheese sauce. 1 potato croquet and a few green beans and she's just had a cream cracker with butter and a couple of slices if thinly cut cheese. All stayed down, no reflux or gagging. HUGE result!! 😁

That’s great news!! Onwards and upwards! X

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 14/11/2025 19:23

Just had a call from my sister. The ate a whole cauliflower floret with cheese sauce. 1 potato croquet and a few green beans and she's just had a cream cracker with butter and a couple of slices if thinly cut cheese. All stayed down, no reflux or gagging. HUGE result!! 😁

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/11/2025 18:18

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 14/11/2025 17:32

She is drinking - not anywhere near as much as she should but she is drinking.

Show quote history

That'll be why they're not too worried about her. And presumably she's stopped vomiting.
Also, her blood tests will show that she isn't particularly dehydrated.

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 14/11/2025 17:32

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 14/11/2025 16:26

If she’s eaten nothing in a week and not had fluids for two days she would be almost dead. And her blood work would show issues with her kidneys. Are you sure she’s not drinking and eating something when you’re not there - you mentioned gravy ? If not you need to ask to see someone senior now!

She is drinking - not anywhere near as much as she should but she is drinking.

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 14/11/2025 17:26

I'd make a list of questions (take your time, it's so easy to forget stuff with all the stress) and ask for a call back from the doctor managing her treatment. It's no good hoping they will be around when you visit but you have more chance this way if you're persistent.

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 14/11/2025 16:26

If she’s eaten nothing in a week and not had fluids for two days she would be almost dead. And her blood work would show issues with her kidneys. Are you sure she’s not drinking and eating something when you’re not there - you mentioned gravy ? If not you need to ask to see someone senior now!

Pancakeflipper · 14/11/2025 13:43

Oh shecis really going through it isnt she ?
@McSteamyorMcdreamy
How is she feeling in herself? Is she totally wiped out?

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 14/11/2025 12:23

They gave her fluids 2 days ago. Nothing since, but her elecs on her bloods are ok.

She now has an infection in her arm from her cannula 🙄

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/11/2025 00:04

Has she got an IV up @McSteamyorMcdreamy?

That'll keep her hydrated at least.

Babyboomtastic · 14/11/2025 00:00

If it is vancomycin, just be aware of any tummy upsets. When both my toddler and my uncle were on it for a prolonged period, both times they ended up with c-diff, which is pretty nasty. Just to be aware.

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 13/11/2025 23:34

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 22:30

Problem is she can't eat due to her hernia which they don't seem to be interested in at all!

Show quote history

You said she ate at lunchtime so couldn’t have a scan and she had stopped being sick. If she’s not eaten in about 5 days then you need to let them know and make them update her notes - assume she’s on a drip?

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 22:57

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 13/11/2025 22:32

Has she stopped vomiting?

Show quote history

No, but then it's not food vomit. It's like a bike

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 13/11/2025 22:32

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 22:30

Problem is she can't eat due to her hernia which they don't seem to be interested in at all!

Show quote history

Has she stopped vomiting?

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 22:30

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 13/11/2025 20:02

She’s in hospital and where she needs to be - a weekend of food and bed rest will do her good.

Show quote history

Problem is she can't eat due to her hernia which they don't seem to be interested in at all!

OP posts:
Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 13/11/2025 20:02

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 16:58

So ...she got moved today to a proper ward.

She called my dad at 3am saying she was going for a burger 🙄

Anyways he is on the domestos of antibiotics which could explain the call this morning and she actually quite with it today and able to move herself on her bed.

When I got there the doctor was there and said they were basically chasing the infection and that she would be having an abdominal ultrasound layer today.

She managed a bit of gravy from her lunch. No throwing up which was good.

My sister took over and she's just called me to say she can't have the ultrasound because she had the gravy for lunch and that the nurse told her this morning that she would need to be nil by mouth before it and that she should have told me in order to refuse the lunch!!!! WTAF?!!!

She now has to wait until Monday because the department don't work on a Friday and then it's the weekend.

You couldn't make this shit up!!!! My sister has just gone up to the PALS office asking to see someone. I'm waiting for DH to come home for DD's and then going down. Absolutely fuming!!

She’s in hospital and where she needs to be - a weekend of food and bed rest will do her good.

DBSFstupid · 13/11/2025 19:33

DarkPassenger1 · 13/11/2025 17:22

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 🌿

What?

Bunnycat101 · 13/11/2025 19:19

I don’t trust anything re food in hospital. My poor mum in coeliac and has a massive sign saying gluten free and I’ve been in to see someone giving her weetabix. Basically you’ve got a lot of lower paid staff managing food and food it seemingly can go very wrong very easily.

Also.. be very aware that the weekends are worse than midweek. We have dealt with some awful stuff at weekends. If you can be there I’d recommend you try as it all seems to go to pot on a ward until the Drs are back doing rounds on Monday.

anyolddinosaur · 13/11/2025 18:43

you can still have clear liquid before a liver scan. Gravy is obviously not clear but if that's all she had it would have been better to go ahead. Given her confused state I'd regard it as negligent not to have a sign warning she shouldnt be given anything to eat.

Uricon2 · 13/11/2025 18:26

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 16:58

So ...she got moved today to a proper ward.

She called my dad at 3am saying she was going for a burger 🙄

Anyways he is on the domestos of antibiotics which could explain the call this morning and she actually quite with it today and able to move herself on her bed.

When I got there the doctor was there and said they were basically chasing the infection and that she would be having an abdominal ultrasound layer today.

She managed a bit of gravy from her lunch. No throwing up which was good.

My sister took over and she's just called me to say she can't have the ultrasound because she had the gravy for lunch and that the nurse told her this morning that she would need to be nil by mouth before it and that she should have told me in order to refuse the lunch!!!! WTAF?!!!

She now has to wait until Monday because the department don't work on a Friday and then it's the weekend.

You couldn't make this shit up!!!! My sister has just gone up to the PALS office asking to see someone. I'm waiting for DH to come home for DD's and then going down. Absolutely fuming!!

For what it's worth, the antibiotic she'll be on is most probably Vancomycin (it is referred to as that, Domestos, by medics and I had it in my hospital stay for sepsis, first heard that description from a medical friend) It is very strong and very effective as is also Gentamicin, if they mention that.

They will be monitoring her very closely if she's on that, including her kidney function. I hope she can have the scans soon but you do need to be an utter pest to the ward if she can't do it herself and it sounds like she can't.

ETA don't expect instant results, it can take a lot of bags of both the above before there is any improvement. I'm not much younger than your DM, I was very ill, but I'm here typing this so have hope.

SquirrelosaurusSoShiny · 13/11/2025 17:43

I would honestly be contacting your MP and a solicitor with experience in medical negligence. That is such a disgrace. Your poor mum 😢

Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 17:37

anyolddinosaur · 13/11/2025 17:26

Ok looked it up. "Scans focusing on the liver, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, and major blood vessels (aorta) typically require fasting for 6 to 8 hours prior to the appointment." There always used to be a large sign on the bottom of the bed for any patients who were nil by mouth to make sure they didnt get a meal.

Pelvic ultrasounds dont require nil by mouth.

Edited

I think they are after looking at her liver as all bar one of her liver function tests we abnormal. Although she still has an appetite despite not eating, her stools (when she goes) are normal and she's not jaundice. I really don't know!!!

Doctor this morning said this morning that they are chasing infection and that her urine sample was growing anything and everything.

OP posts:
Original poster
McSteamyorMcdreamy · 13/11/2025 17:29

DarkPassenger1 · 13/11/2025 17:22

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 🌿

Unless you are a nurse on her ward and I haven't been told yet I'm almost certain she's still here!!

OP posts:
anyolddinosaur · 13/11/2025 17:26

Ok looked it up. "Scans focusing on the liver, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, and major blood vessels (aorta) typically require fasting for 6 to 8 hours prior to the appointment." There always used to be a large sign on the bottom of the bed for any patients who were nil by mouth to make sure they didnt get a meal.

Pelvic ultrasounds dont require nil by mouth.

DarkPassenger1 · 13/11/2025 17:22

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 🌿

anyolddinosaur · 13/11/2025 17:21

You dont generally have to avoid food and drink before an ultrasound. For some you need a full bladder, for some they have you empty your bladder. Doesnt make much sense unless they were worried she'd throw up.