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AIBU?

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Original poster

She's dying isn't she?

610 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 07/11/2025 23:15

Mum discharged herself from hospital today.

Hiatus hernia. She can't eat or drink anything. Literally throws it straight back up.

Can't walk because her lower back is buggered.

UTI in blood. Been given antibiotics but nothing seems to be giving her a boost.

Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E. Not slept for at least 48. Said she just wanted to go home.

I'm really scared 😭

MNHQ EDIT to gently suggest that MNers new to this thread take the time to read through all of the OP's posts before answering

OP posts:
Mimosa3andmore · 19/11/2025 20:29

Like @KellsBells7 I would see if you can get her moved to a hospice if possible. They are much more focused and care is second to none. It will also be more private than a hospital ward and you and your family will be able to spend time with her and talk as much as you want. I went through similar with a parent in 2022. It's heartbreaking 💐

Bertielong3 · 19/11/2025 20:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Beerpink · 19/11/2025 20:27

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 19/11/2025 18:28

CT confirmed secondary liver cancer. Primary is in her bones.

All treatment stopped, morphine and now under palliative in private room.

No words.

I couldn’t read and run! So sorry OP! Absolutely heartbreaking

LifeIsGreatForUnicorns · 19/11/2025 20:26

So sorry to hear this ❤️‍🩹

Chocolation · 19/11/2025 20:26

So sorry OP x

ArabellaSaurus · 19/11/2025 20:25

I'm so very sorry, OP. Sending you all my best.

KellsBells7 · 19/11/2025 20:23

I’m so sorry OP. I’m sure you will find out more in the coming days but I would see if you could get a hospice referral as soon as possible. I’ve sadly had more experience with them than I would ever have wanted but they are fantastic in terms of managing pain and offering support.

BellaVita · 19/11/2025 20:22

Thinking of you all. I am so sorry.

We were told in June that there was nothing more that could be done for our son (28) and it would be palliative care only. He was dx with a Glioblastoma in June 22.

Keep talking to your mum and perhaps play her favourite music?

We had a hospice bed delivered on the 25th June - he was heavily sedated from this point, we had some fantastic hospice at home nurses coming in 3 x a day. His music playlists were on constant loop, friends and family came to sit and talk to him. He was listening...he responded out of the blue to his brother who was telling him that the day before he had gone for the Friday Lunch Special at DS's favourite deli. DS loved his food.

DS passed away on the 29th June.

EdinaGeorgina · 19/11/2025 20:21

So very sorry that your poor Mum has had to go through this and that your instinct was right. So sorry.

Zippymonkey · 19/11/2025 20:20

I’m so sorry to hear your update op. I wish you a peaceful time with your Mum now and hope she is as comfortable as possible after such a horrible time.

raspberrieswithchocolate · 19/11/2025 20:15

I'm so sorry 💐❤️

whereisit1 · 19/11/2025 20:14

Just read your update, I'm so so sorry

nocoolnamesleft · 19/11/2025 20:13

I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

Lobsterteapot · 19/11/2025 20:09

I’m so sorry op, sending love xx

SheinIsShite · 19/11/2025 20:08

NewAgeNewMe · 19/11/2025 19:30

I’m so sorry to read this update. Been there with my dad. Remember to look after yourself as well. Once palliative were involved it was much easier for my dad to be pain free. X

I have too. The palliative care team was amazing. Love to you, OP.

Noddynoodle · 19/11/2025 20:07

Edited: I didn’t see your update until I posted. Sending you love and strength at this time. So sorry

DearBlueNewt · 19/11/2025 20:02

So sorry OP. This resonates with me so much, I went through it 4 years ago. I hope she remains comfortable. Sending you loads of strength 💐 x

notthedressiwanted · 19/11/2025 20:01

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you x

TeaandHobnobs · 19/11/2025 19:58

I’m so sorry @McSteamyorMcdreamy . My Ddad’s cancer had metastasised by the time it was discovered (actually in not dissimilar circumstances, come to think of it), so I know how this must have completely floored you.

I hope you now all get some good support from palliative care, and do make use of whatever organisation (eg MacMillan, Maggie’s, local hospice) is available to help support your DM and your family.
Holding your hand through this 💐

Ohmygodthepain · 19/11/2025 19:52

Oh love.

We're going through similar with MIL. Please be kind to yourself.

They will be moving heaven and earth to ensure she's pain free and comfortable.

Make sure you have something to eat and drink. Speak to your own gp to get something to help you to sleep.

Uricon2 · 19/11/2025 19:51

I am so sorry. Hold in mind that you fought for her to be somewhere she will be made comfortable Flowers

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/11/2025 19:51

💔

Gair · 19/11/2025 19:47

I am very sorry @McSteamyorMcdreamy . I hope your mum is as comfortable as possible and that you can all support each other to come to terms with this shocking news. Flowers

Pancakeflipper · 19/11/2025 19:44

I'm sorry.
My father was palliative care in hospital. As previous people have said the hearing is the last to go, chatting all day is hard so I had the radio on and podcasts of his fav radio comedy shows. Don't underestimated your presence, it will be of comfort.

Take care .

Sugargliderwombat · 19/11/2025 19:39

So sorry OP, I've been through something similar with my dad, please lodge a safeguarding concern with PALS when you feel ready : sat in A&E for hours and given nothing but paracetamol. Awful.