To think a 22 year old dating a 16 year old is dodgy?

Oh don't. You know how massive-aggressive you're being and it's gross to make unpleasant insinuations about a long-term relationship that the poster is probably perfectly happy in.

At what age do you think that it becomes acceptable for someone to have a relationship with an age gap and what would be the permitted gap in your opinion?

You say adult men shouldn't date children so presumably you think adults should be able to date other adults? Or maybe you don't and you think there should be a category where adults need to be 21, 25 or 30 before they are allowed to date with an age gap?

But then there could still be issues couldn't there? A 45 year old man dating a 25 year old woman sounds on paper as if it wouldn't work but I don't see how it could be stopped, and could be a loving mutually supportive and respectful relationship.

In my daughter's case she was almost 18 and 5 months later went to the local university but lived away from home in halls as was her plan all along. Although that much older he was a student at the same university, having gone there as a mature student and was at the end of his first year. He was therefore surrounded by a lot of much younger people, often socialised with them etc. So their circumstances were very similar.

Isn't the age of consent 16 nearly all over the World?
Was your brother in a position of supervision - a teacher?
Otherwise it seems fine.

It was and is gross. I'm sorry that your daughter was exploited in this way. I hope someday she can talk through what happened with a professional and come to terms properly with what happened.

All this talk of marriage and babies is bizarre. As though the fact that the relationship lasted a while is proof it wasn't wrong in the first place. There is a famous reality TV couple with lots and lots of children that have been married for decades. She had their first baby when she was 14 and he was 17. The length of the marriage and the number of kids doesn't make that fine either. People need to give their heads a wobble.

Parents trusted their teenagers more after the 1960s.
Sixteen year olds were given freedom and thought independent enough to leave school, work and train at university. They moved in with friends.
The average age for marriage was lower.
Fewer students stayed and finished school.
People/women were getting married all the time at eighteen.

Possibly your brother and his wife would have the same personalities and relationship dynamics regardless of when and whom they married.
It was certainly legal.

Does your SIL say she is being abused?
Does your brother mistreat you or his family?
Could you recommend that he is charged based on actual evidence - facts that you remember where he was criminal and different from many other men of his era?

A well adjusted, sensible, decent man in his mid twenties wouldn’t be continuing to pursue a girl they fancy once they realised their weekdays consisted of studying for A levels. It would put them off so much and make them feel uncomfortable to the extent it would be an absolute no go.

Could you, in your mid twenties, have imagined meeting a bloke and when you asked him what he did for work he said “oh I’m in year 13 doing maths, history and business studies” and continuing to have dated him?! Of course not. Because you are decent and sensible, presumably.

It happened because we’ve normalised adult men thinking it’s acceptable to date female children.

Well it happened and it wasn't gross. He had had 2 previous longer relationships lasting a couple of years with women the same age, so it wasn't as if he made a habit of going after much younger women. The relationship started 2 months before she was 18 and an adult, free to make her own decisions.

This is gross. A man in his mid/late twenties shouldn’t be sniffing after schoolgirls.

I should have come back to answer the question that was asked to me.

if my daughter came home at 16 and told me she was seeing someone who was 25, no o probably wouldn’t be happy about it. But I would do what my parents did for me, get to know him, be there for her and not just shut it down.

ot would be very hypocritical of me if I just said no not happening not allowed. When me and her dad are so happy together and always have been.

My daughter started going out with her ex husband when she was 17 in year 13 and he was 26. Of course initially I was concerned but once I got to know him I was perfectly fine with it and never gave it any more thought.
No one else in my middle class family of professionals( saying this in case some people on here think we come from some kind of uneducated background where this is common) had an age gap of more than a year for generations so it was quite unusual. Eventually after years together they married and had a child. There was no question of him thinking she was jailbait or grooming her in any way, he adored her. The marriage did eventually breakdown due to events which were nothing to do with inequality or manipulation or grooming.

I know exactly who you’re talking about. I can’t go near her page since I found that out. It creeps me out so much.

No well adjusted man in his twenties would be interested in a teenager. Nothing will convince me otherwise.

If any 29 year old told me they wanted to date a 16 year old they fancied then I’d happily tell them they were vile. I’m not sure I would be able to stop myself tbh!

Hey. Steady on. And age gap of 13 years is pretty unusual but there no call to describe it this way and a bit rude surely? They are clearly happily married - hence the post.

Why do people keep producing this canard about people being "happily married"?

a) How can you possibly know they're "happily married"? You know they're "married". The rest is conjecture.
b) This doesn't justify an adult man targeting a child for a sexual or romantic relationship. In some circumstances slaves grew to feel something close to affection or gratitude for their owners. It doesn't mean its OK.

Hi, I was 14 at the time and I am pretty confused about it all. I’m sorry you had to spell it out.

it’s quite hard actually.

But thank you for replying

That’s utterly disgusting. I couldn’t be friends with someone who enabled their paedophile son to abuse a 14yo.

Sure, Jan.

I absolutely would tell a 29 year old man who was in a relationship with a 16 year old that he was vile, all day long. Why do you think otherwise?

I’m suprised a 22 year old would want to go out with a 16 year old. I’ve got a 21 yo DS and he wouldn’t go anyway near a 16 year old. Too immature and looks dodgy to his friends. Anyone he knows who did this would be looked at in a really bad light. Even DS2 wouldn’t date a 16 year old and he’s 18.5.

Certainly for 16 and 17 year olds I agree with this. They are still children in a legal sense and should be protected from predators.

And yes, labelling people vile is phenomenally rude. You know they wouldn't have the bollocks to say it IRL.

There needs to be an additional law prohibiting excessive age gaps, separate from the AOC.

The age of consent is what it is. If it upsets you, lobby Parliament?

Yes, and illegal. Do we really need to spell out every permutation of “it isn’t ok for adults to fuck schoolchildren”?

Nobody is saying the relationship is vile, just the fully grown adult MAN.