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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I been dumped?!

62 replies

ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:06

Still reeling from this although it happened last weekend, but I just need to know.

Backstory: Group of friends who have all been close since 12/13 and now in our 30s.

Perhaps drifted apart a bit more so since Covid but still see each other for birthdays etc.

One of the friends weddings last Saturday and I was invited as a guest. She didn’t mention having bridesmaids or anything and she’s quite unconventional so I didn’t think anything of it.

Turn up to the wedding to find I’m the only friend not a bridesmaid. I even went to the hen do last month and bridal parties were never mentioned once.

That’s odd isn’t it? Have I been friend dumped?

And so as not to drip feed, the only ‘big change’ in our friendship is that I have had a baby so missed maybe a handful of get togethers when my son was a newborn. That must’ve been where they discussed bridesmaids etc? No fallouts, nothing.

I feel well and truly shit tbh

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 07/11/2025 22:28

I’m sorry and I’m not surprised you are hurt or upset by this.

Yes, for one reason or another I think perhaps the friendship has moved on but it could be those catch ups you missed when you had a baby will soon be scenarios others will experience and you’ll be back on track.

I suppose it depends whether you want to stay with the friends or move on and leave them in the past.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 07/11/2025 22:27

I don’t think you’ve necessarily been dumped. Maybe overlooked due to your change in life circumstances. Friendships change over time. Give it time and see what happens. If any of the others have babies things will change for them too.

Original poster
ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:26

Nelly44 · 07/11/2025 22:25

Don’t make it about you .. enjoy her day

I absolutely did! I was all smiles and pleasant, and had given her a really beautiful personal present too. I text her afterwards and said thank you for the invite. I’ve literally not said one word to anyone about how sad I feel (other than here).

OP posts:
Nelly44 · 07/11/2025 22:25

Don’t make it about you .. enjoy her day

Original poster
ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:24

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 07/11/2025 22:22

I’d ask the nicest one in your group what’s happened that led to you being the only one to be excluded and also to have clearly had all conversations about it kept from you too. Really not nice behaviour.

I did think about doing this but I didn’t want it getting back to the bride in case she thinks I’m making it about me. Her wedding she can do what she wants, just wasn’t sure if I was being dramatic being so upset!

OP posts:
Original poster
ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:23

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/11/2025 22:19

That's very unkind of them all.
I don't know why anyone would do that.

Have you started talking a lot about your baby now? Maybe they don't find that interesting?

If that isn't the case, I can't imagine why your friends have done this to you.

God no, even when we have been out together, I have barely mentioned him as they don’t even ask!

The more I look back over the last year and a bit, the more I think actually they just haven’t been good friends at all since I became a mum.

I get people drift away but I’d never dream of doing that to someone.

OP posts:
CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 07/11/2025 22:22

I’d ask the nicest one in your group what’s happened that led to you being the only one to be excluded and also to have clearly had all conversations about it kept from you too. Really not nice behaviour.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/11/2025 22:19

That's very unkind of them all.
I don't know why anyone would do that.

Have you started talking a lot about your baby now? Maybe they don't find that interesting?

If that isn't the case, I can't imagine why your friends have done this to you.

Original poster
ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:12

JudgeBread · 07/11/2025 22:10

Maybe they thought you'd be too busy with the baby? Being very, very generous but I hate to think of people being this cruel intentionally.

You've known eachother forever, can you talk to one of them? If not the bride then one of the others, tell them how hurt you are and try and get an explanation?

I’ve been in shock since really. We have been bridesmaids at all of each others weddings so it felt so surreal. I didn’t want to seem like a brat on the day so just smiled through it but I’ve barely been able to stop crying since.

20+ years of friendship. It feels very odd!

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 07/11/2025 22:10

Maybe they thought you'd be too busy with the baby? Being very, very generous but I hate to think of people being this cruel intentionally.

You've known eachother forever, can you talk to one of them? If not the bride then one of the others, tell them how hurt you are and try and get an explanation?

Original poster
ffrindbyrdi · 07/11/2025 22:09

Meant to say YABU - you’ve not been friend dumped

YANBU - definitely dumped

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 07/11/2025 22:09

I am so sorry girl but I think you have 💐. Will let someone else tell you how to handle it though xx