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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this statement from DP strange

209 replies

Totaleclipseofaheart · 07/11/2025 21:21

For context- DP and I have been together a decade and recently became parents. His mother has become incredibly overbearing and after months of keeping quiet I finally confided in my DP and told him what toll it was having on my mental well being and that I (not him or us) need to see her less. Our relationship with DP has taken a nose dive since that convo and he has recently told me that he struggling to see a future for us as HE IS AT HIS HAPPIEST WHEN HE IS WITH HIS MUM AND DAD.
Is it unreasonable of me to find this statement from a man in his late 30s who has just had a baby really strange?

OP posts:
Whatifitallgoesright · 07/11/2025 21:39

No, you are not BU. It is strange. What was their relationship like before the baby?

Is it just that he's not No 1 anymore for you, so he's sulked off to hide behind his mother's skirts?

olympicsrock · 07/11/2025 21:33

So he’s family orientated but can’t cope with being an independent adult. I would worry.

Zempy · 07/11/2025 21:31

Off he fucks back to mummy then…

Whats your financial/housing situation?

arethereanyleftatall · 07/11/2025 21:31

If he meant it as a true statement, then ‘strange’ isn’t the right word. It means your relationship is over I would say. He doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about him.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 07/11/2025 21:28

Is the reality of being a parent sinking in maybe? Funny how it’s always men who decide it’s just too hard and they want to go back to mummy and daddy, while the women just knuckle down and get on with because someone has to and it ain’t going to be him 🙄

Totaleclipseofaheart · 07/11/2025 21:27

I didn’t say that the relationship was bad. I thought we were really happy and just started our family and it’s been really lovely. It’s just his mother’s interference that I struggle with

OP posts:
redskydelight · 07/11/2025 21:25

Becoming the parent may have been the catalyst for him to realise that he's not happy in the relationship. So not strange at all. But not a great omen for your relationship.

The question is what you (both of you) intend to do about it.

PInkyStarfish · 07/11/2025 21:24

Well if his relationship is going to pot and he’s miserable, then he is speaking the truth about being at his happiest when he’s with his parents.

What does he want to do to regain happiness and closeness with you again?

Pleasegodgotosleep · 07/11/2025 21:24

I'm sorry. You need to leave or you'll spend years coming last and resenting it. Go and be happy.