To find this statement from DP strange

What an infantile wanker.

Divorce him and find a man.

I'm friends with the mil in this situation. Her son comes home to stay every weekend for a night out with his mates and to play sports, leaving his DP and DC at home. DP is still on mat leave.

MIL thinks this is entirely reasonable as "DIL gets to do her things whilst he's at my house", er what about the DC?? I really feel for the DIL as it ain't going to get any better, and I just hope she sees the light and kicks him into touch.

If you're so flawed that you are truly lucky that anyone has got with you, then it sounds like a sorry situation all around.

But definitely also this.

You're in denial.

these are your words (capitals are yours)

he has recently told me that he struggling to see a future for us as HE IS AT HIS HAPPIEST WHEN HE IS WITH HIS MUM AND DAD

how can you possibly think you have a good relationship his mindset is that he's struggling to see a future for you.

Oh dear. If he's one of those types, then it's the end, OP. Neither you, nor child or the family you thought you made with your DH will ever come first.

Bet you wouldn't even think to say that about a woman.

I feel blessed I have a partner at all, with my many failings. I think if people were a bit more introspective, they would feel that not only others are blessed to have a partner at all, but they themselves are so too.

You need to deal with MiL, not your DP. The line is very much, well, we do things differently now and smile. You possibly have post-partum depression btw and should talk to your health visitor and GP.
I'm sad your DP has turned out to be a manchild, though. You might have to review the relationship.

Because people often take time to acknowledge the relationship is wrong for them, heal from that, and move on.

Probably because life with the OP isn't fulfilling and/or pleasant enough for him. Maybe he's seen a totally different side to her post birth and he doesn't want that future. Those are the reasons I'd be happier away from my marital home with other people than in it alone with my spouse.

Why do you think he was "otherwise happy"?

I have no idea what you mean. What I know is that in REAL LIFE, I know plenty of women who never want to marry.

I think some people need to realise that you need to actually put some effort into sustaining your partner's contentment in the relationship. You can't just expect that they'll be happy enough that they get to call you their partner so things like having compatible needs and desires lose importance.

It is like some people believe others should just feel blessed they have a partner at all, so should just forget about what they might want from life and appease their partner out of fear of losing them.

Yes, even women have to work at their relationships to ensure they remain a solid and fulfilling life partner. Not just a co-parent and housemate.

YANBU. I think it’s definitely odd for a man his age - who was otherwise happy in his relationship - to be happiest with his own parents rather than his partner and child.

If your MIL is very overbearing, it sounds like the apron strings have never been cut.

I see. That is why there is also a forum called Dadsnet, where men post regularly about them wanting to marry/have commitment/have children/settle down and their female partners declining and going on all girls' holidays instead. Yes! Let us fight biology with sociology!

Why does he prefer life with mum and dad @JadeSquid?

OP, having reread your op, I've just realised that some time elapsed between you telling him about your feelings and his recent statement and in the interim, things haven't been good between you. I think that might change people's views a little, rather than the kneejerks you're getting from a lot of people. Is he involving himself with the baby? Is he building a relationship with it or does his relationship with his parents override all other relationships? What was your response to what he said?

If OP is abusing him and their relationship is shit, why hasn’t he found another partner @JadeSquid?

That’s exactly how I see it @FeistyFrankie

Abusive people rarely recognise themselves as abusive.

And even more so, people with unreasonable ideas rarely recognise them as unreasonable.

Sadly you dont have a future. He's clearly confided in his parents that he's unhappy.

Yes and things change. You can start a relationship quite happy and over time, you learn more about yourself and situations present that expose your incompatibility. This is often why people break up.

Sounds like he is trying to guilt you into backing down OP. He sounds fucking awful and I'm not sure what to suggest. It sounds like he doesn't want to cut the apron strings.

He is refusing to listen to how you feel about his mum, or look st how his mum's behaviour has impacted YOU, and instead minimised and invalidated your experience with his parents with this claim that they, in fact, make him incredibly happy. He said it to counter your negativity. It's the kind of thing an avoidant partner will say, because it means he then doesn't have to do anything about the difficult dynamic that exists between you and his mum. He's deflecting because he doesn't want to deal with it.

So the end result is you are silenced and your needs ignored. Is that the kind of relationship you want to model to your child?

I would suggest some couples counselling to help him see your point of view (and how ugly his comment was within the context of your relationship). Give him the chance to make it right, but prepare to be completely let you down (again). At least this way, when you end the relationship, you can say you tried everything to save it first.

Ask the question to op perhaps? Ask her if theres a chance she's abusive and the husband has never said anything but is more then able to say I see no future with you because u dont want to see my mum. 🙄