To find this statement from DP strange

Yes the OP may have thought that but obviously since he is saying he isn't happiest with her, she has missed something over time.

Good grief, he is a mummy’s boy. He prefers the company of his mother over his family, and doesn’t pull her up in her appalling behaviour. @Parkmalarky what do statistics and who spends Christmas where have anything to do with the op’s situation? The OP doesn’t have any family close by? Are you projecting because of your own sons’ behaviour? I’m baffled.

And @JadeSquid Id love to know how you reached your assertion that he’s ‘probably’ unfulfilled.

This thread is a perfect example of why situations like these should be posted on the relationship board.

No they dont just go and seek someone new. Like women, they often leave and heal before starting a new relationship because they are humans with thoughts and feelings and memories.

And whilst that is all very interesting - have you read the thread? There is zero evidence of what you are describing in this case.

Op don’t put up with this shit. And don’t allow this to be the model your child grows up with.

Irrespective of how entitled and overbearing your MIL is, it is your spineless man-child partner who is enabling her behaviour and allowing this. A decent man would carefully manage the relationship between the three of you.

So focus on him. Wtf does he want? Why isn’t he protecting you? Why does he go tittle-tattling her and then stand by why she berates you? Why do her views on parenting trump your’s? What future does he see for you both and the baby?

His answers should tell you everything you need to know.

None of these people are actually nice to you.

That does seem to be it in a nutshell sadly.

Absolutely agree.

I have just mentioned this thread on the holiday thread too. Such double standards.

Do not let her in. If she tells you off, tell her it's not her remit and ask her to stop giving advice. Stand your ground. but I get why it's overbearing.

how did DP respond to her when she told you off in front of a group of people?

I probably would refuse to see her unless she changes her way of treating you. let DP go to his parents with baby to see them there.

and reconsider where this relationship is going but don't rush it, having a baby is a test for many couples.

Most of my friend’s are much closer to the wife’s parents than husband’s parents. I have two friends who made it clear that once they had children, Christmas would always be spent with their families. I have lots of friends who have moved to the area to be geographically close to her parents. There was a recent thread about a woman planning a holiday for her husband’s significant birthday, arranging for her parents to go on the holiday. Many women discourage men from having a relationship with his own family and then complain when he is emotionally absent. I also have male acquaintances who have been widowed and then re- marry very quickly.
Undoubtedly, and it is also statistically verifiable, most women have a life long relationship with their own parents whilst discouraging their male partners from having a relationship with his own family. One of the reasons women give for being economically inactive in their fifties is that they are busy caring for her parents as they age. They will become financially dependent on their husbands so they can devote themselves to caring for their own Mum and Dad. His parents are expected to fend for themselves. A lot of women openly admit that their primary relationship is with their mother.
It is sad that today, one of the commonest terms of abuse used by posters on MN is calling a man, a ‘Mummy’s Boy’. It is so widespread. There is a great deal of research to show how common it is for women to want their partners to cut contact with his family ( this extends to step children, particularly step daughters as well).

I think you mean might not be fulfilled.
Most adults in unfulfilling relationships seek new partners rather than going back to their parents.
You and I won’t agree so let’s leave it.

There is no evidence in this thread that OP has forgotten about her role as a partner to her DP. She says that she thought that they were happy since the birth of their child but he has just told her that he is happiest with his mum and dad so is struggling to see a future for their relationship.

You are just inventing your own narrative where OP has neglected her poor partner in favour of the baby so he has needed to turn to mummy for love and support. The mummy who is rude and critical about OP's mothering skills.

I think she will be better off on her own with her child away from this enmeshed and unkind family.

So to get it right:

DP sees them all the time. He knows what she’s like. So he’s either round there telling tales on purpose and/or is too fucking stupid to stop over sharing every detail in full knowledge what the consequence is for you AND he does nothing to protect you from constant meddling and criticism.

I know you’re likely feeling exhausted on mat leave but you need to reflect on how and why you don’t stick up for yourself.

Next time he says he’s at his happiest with mummy, say well that’s incredibly hurtful to your partner and child. I will need to reflect how I feel about our relationship. Don't let her in. Have some stock phrases ready to say back. Etc.

None of these people are actually nice to you.

Bloody hell. The mad things I said in the first year of parenting.

Its not ideal, but surely a bit of leeway should be given for the dad as well as the mum at this time? Its a tough transition. So many so quick to say leave when things may work out fine

Presumably he is offended that you dislike his mom so much, and told him so.

Not saying you are wrong to feel like that about her, she does sound rude and annoying.

But it's still his mom.

I know on Mumsnet everyone goes NC with their parents/in-laws/siblings etc at the drop of a hat, and it's seen as a pretty standard move, but in reality, in my experience the vast majority of people (certainly ones I know) love their parents even if they don't think they are perfect, and would feel extremely defensive and pissed off if their partner said they disliked their parent and never wanted to see him or her again.

I don't know what the answer is, because I don't think it can be good for your mental health to have this woman coming round shouting the odds about the nappy brand you use (FFS). However, I don't think your partner was ever likely to go, of course that's fine, I totally understand why you hate my mom and wish to cut her off.

Everyone will say your dp's loyalty should be to you..... But I am sure he would prefer not to have to choose.

He probably doesn't literally mean his happiest times are with them - people say hyperbolic things when they are hurt and defensive.

Rather than not seeing her any more, could you ask your dp to maybe have a word with his mom about the way she speaks to you and how it makes you feel?

Good luck.

Have you come here just to issue personal attacks that suggest that I am mentally ill?

Is this some sort of slur against people with mental health issues? "Check your meds?"

What do you mean by this?

I think it is very relevant to the man saying he doesn't see a future with the OP. Do you think he's saying that because he's happy?

What a totally nonsensical comment. Genuine bollocks and an attempt to attack another commenter, while having absolutely no relevance of any kind to anything on the thread 😂You sound utterly batshit. Unhinged.

You dont have to forget about your role as a partner to parent. Of course you will be happier with other people your relationship isn't fulfilling. You can't just expect your partner to want to be with you more than anyone else. You have to actually foster an environment and dynamic that they prefer to anywhere else.

The fact that you can't envisage a man might not be unfulfilled in a relationship says a lot about you.