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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

137 replies

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 07/11/2025 19:54

I keep seeing women say they’ll nudge their partner and go “she’s stunning” or “look at her body!” like it’s proof they’re confident or chill. And while I get not being insecure, it just feels performative at times, like they’re trying too hard to be the “cool” girlfriend or wife.

What really gets me is you’re not doing the same thing with men. You’re not pointing out hot guys to your man and comparing them to him. So what’s the actual dynamic here?

AIBU to think it’s kind of weird and maybe rooted in something more than just confidence?

OP posts:
Washingbasquait · 08/11/2025 08:39

I’ve never actually seen or heard anyone do this. That said, I don’t really see the issue, although I’m perplexed about how their partner should respond.

mydogisthebest · 08/11/2025 08:37

Well I am not cool in the slightest but I do sometimes point out an attractive woman to DH. I do also point out attractive men.

We have been married over 40 years and it's something I have always done although it's certainly not a regular thing. I can't see why anyone would see it as a problem.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 08/11/2025 03:39

My DH and I have just come back from Rome, where every other person looks like a model. I swear to god, they even manage to rock hi-vis gear over there.

We spent a fair bit of time pointing good-looking or stylish people out to each other. By day three it was more, ‘Oh, come on now! FFS!’ than ‘Phwoar’ though,

I mean, even the priests were hot. Fleabag would have loved it.

No cool wives or husbands here.

PollyBell · 08/11/2025 03:26

Because they haven't matured from teenage years is all I can think of or lack intelligence, but we dont have to understand it seems to work for them i suppose

Fivegreenfrogs · 08/11/2025 03:19

How do you know why they are doing it?
I'm just an oversharer and tell my husband pretty much any thought that goes through my head tbh. If that happens to be 'wow that person is stunning' then that would be something I say I guess

It's odd this gets your back up? Would never occur to me to even give it thought. Why does it bother you?
If it's not something you would like to say ever then just don't.
There's no 'cool' about any of it. People are allowed to conduct their relationships differently, everyone is different.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 08/11/2025 02:51

I don't know OP, it could be just seeing something aesthetically pleasing that stands out to you, a beautiful house, nice scenery, cute animal and your partner just happens to be there when you notice it .
I say whatevers on my mind to my nearest and dearest .

Tryingatleast · 08/11/2025 02:46

Do you not think it’s more ‘imagine looking like that?’ We were on holidays and the men and women were stunning and it was hard not to stare!!!!

Duckie2025 · 08/11/2025 02:42

It's only done by the coolwife pickme's and boy do they HATE being called coolwife pickme's - which makes it great fun as well as being absolutely accurate.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 08/11/2025 02:40

Yes. Weird.

Insanityisnotastrategy · 07/11/2025 20:40

Honestly women are just easier on the eye and often really stunning. I don't think I point it out that much, but sometimes, sure.

Marble10 · 07/11/2025 20:26

I do this. I just appreciate a beautiful woman or a woman with a great figure or someone impeccably dressed and know my DP will agree 🤷‍♀️ but I’m not ‘comparing’ myself to them so not sure the comment you made about men being compared to said partner?

nonetheless I don’t look at men in the same way 😆 sorry but not as many beautiful men roaming about!

SeaAndStars · 07/11/2025 20:16

Where are you looking to keep seeing women say this?
Why would anyone need to be the “cool” girlfriend or wife with their partner?
How do you know they’re not doing the same thing with men.
Are you worrying about nothing?
Why do you care?

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