To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

Hmm, just discussed this thread with DH, we are old and white and very not cool 😂, been together a very long time etc, only last night we were at an event where we met and chatted with the most beautiful young black woman, lovely personality, perfect skin, lovely eyes and her hair, oh my word! After we left I said to Dh,' wasn't she just the most gorgeous person you've seen in a long time'? He agreed, no doubt about it. DH is a gentleman, he would have been in no doubt at all that this girl would have no interest in him beyond being a friendly individual and yes, I agree with @walkingmad as you get older you realise the true beauty of youth. For most of us, our youth and beauty are not something we recognised when we had it, such a shame!

I look back at myself now, I was lovely, spent far to long worrying about the shape of bum and my wonky teeth, I feel so sorry for the girls that have gone the surgery/filler route and have made themselves clones of each other and look 10 years older that they are.

I used to model (badly) & have met some beautiful people through that. I have seen male models who are very handsome etc but I'm not attracted to them.

I’ve never come across any woman doing this. It all sounds very odd.

I have never ever seen or heard any woman say this, and I have never said it myself.

@Olivetawny I am not saying it isn't just that as you get older, youth & all that it means eg carefree etc becomes more attractive. It's why people look back on old photos of themselves & see beauty whereas at the time they didn't.

@Disturbia81 why on earth is that gross? It's not sexual. Youth & vitality are lovely & I think it makes older people wistful or nostalgic.

If i see a beautiful woman, I qould point it out to my husband. Id do the same if it was an unusually attractive male as well. I dont see why that makes me a cool wife/pick me?

Honestly, if some women can point out hot women to their DP, genuinely without an ulterior motive, I have to say, I really envy them! I would really like to not care and be chilled about my DP noticing and being attracted to other women. I personally really don't like it, and I don't seem to be able to change that, however much I've tried to rationalise it. I fully admit I am insecure though...!

This is one of the most gross things I’ve read.

Personally I don’t do it but I think it’s only okay when it’s both ways. Just pointing out women just gives a whole imbalance and just proves women are more objectified, and yet again giving a man what he wants but not the other way round.

I agree op. I think it's deeply odd and try hard tbh.

Last year I did nudge dh and subtly point out a topless woman on a beach in Mallorca. But it was because she had the hugest set of rock hard, round fake boobs i've ever seen. They were honestly like footballs glued on, the bottoms of them were close to her belly button so I was 😲. Never seen the like.

I have a ‘beautiful’ dd who, when we are out and about, everyone feels perfectly entitled to gawp at, ask for photos with (yes really), glare at (usually women), try to touch or engage in conversation. It has affected her since she was a school girl when cars would screech up and tell her to get in, or men would leer and comment on her in vile sexual ways.

It was miserable for her and now she’s completely jaded about men, and the female handmaids that either hate her for no reason other than how she looks, or collude with the objectifying.

If you comment on random women and judge their ‘beauty’, and especially if you encourage men to join in, just don’t.

But why do you need to comment on another woman’s looks? Why are you doing it? It’s not for the purpose of the woman ( she hasn’t heard you) , you said you don’t need reassurance from your husband, so why do it ?

I can't imagine being insecure enough to care if DH notices or comments on another's beauty. It seems many people here are the type to go running crying to the bathroom if their DPs look at or talk to someone attractive, this is really possessive behaviour and not a sign of a healthy relationship. Many of my friends are better looking than me as are DHs pals to him. Dh works with a lot of beautiful women, they are much better looking than me, I'd be a fool to think he can't see that and a bigger fool to get all huffy and upset if he calls them beautiful. Our relationship is not so shallow and needy.

I can't imagine being insecure enough to care if DH notices or comments on another's beauty. It seems many people here are the type to go running crying to the bathroom if their DPs look at or talk to someone attractive, this is really possessive behaviour and not a sign of a healthy relationship. Many of my friends are better looking than me as are DHs pals to him. Dh works with a lot of beautiful women, they are much better looking than me, I'd be a fool to think he can't see that and a bigger fool to get all huffy and upset if he calls them beautiful. Our relationship is not so shallow and needy.

Where do you "keep seeing" this happen?

Age can be beautiful too!

I wouldn't say "look at her body" but I've occasionally pointed out a really beautiful or striking person - male or female.

I do sometimes point out good looking guys to my dh who is bi so I guess it's sort of the same thing, and I'd comment on a woman on TV who I think is really beautiful. I don't think either of us would do it in public/ in person because it's objectifying and a bit uncomfortable. Might say "she has gorgeous hair" but not "look at her body" that's tacky af. DH and I have similar taste in women but very different taste in men, go figure.

Surely you can't be naive enough to think your partner is with you because you are so beautiful and he hasn't noticed anyone else? I find it much bizarre that you might think someone is beautiful but be afraid to say it because your partner might notice, like he is too blind or stupid to have noticed without your input. I say things like this, as does DH, I don't go on about it but i might say she's beautiful or he is so handsome and DH might also note these things, same with a beautiful child.

I find that pointing out the looks of some random person to someone else is a weird thing to do. It's really shallow. Why no just admire quietly? Why make into a thing?

My DH does

AS I said before, I am certainly not cool nor am I trying to be. Me and DH just tell each other just about everything and if I see a very attractive person, which is not that often, I will mention it,

I am certainly not trying to test my DH. We have been very happily married for 45 years and I trust him.

Well that is where we differ. DH knows I find Vito in Strictly very attractive and sexy. He is not upset by that. In fact he agrees that Vito is an attractive man. I know he finds a few actresses attractive. Surely that is normal?

We talk all the time and tell each other everything. That is our normal

I find it weird that women need to comment on other women’s faces and body shape. We can appreciate the physical aesthetics of a woman but why the need to say it out loud ? I think looking a bit deeper why you need to say this needs further exploration because on some sort of unconscious level you are playing out the messages you have been brought up with .

there’s another thread running this morning, where a grandmother commented on her GDs body shape at 9 yrs old … what message is this 9 year old picking up ( had her DM not shut it down).

There is an element of the ‘cool girl ‘ vibe going on here, trying to act like you’re not threatened but are ( not by the woman’s beauty) but ‘your man’ is thinking the same and by you verbalising this you want to test if they are thinking this but not saying this … an insecurity that you want reassurance for.