To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

Just got the same look from Dh when I asked him about this.

I don’t not comment on women because of insecurity, it’s because I don’t care. I wander around thinking loads of things I don’t say out loud. Like jesus what a prick, wonder where she got those shoes, wonder of thats fillers. It just seems strange to point out attractive women to Dh like I’m presenting them for his approval. I doubt any woman would appreciate me pointing her out for my Dh to assess. There’s something really off about doing this.

I've just asked my husband if me remarking on a woman's beauty makes him feel like he's being trapped/I'm fishing for comments/I'm insecure and he looked at me like I'm mental.

Honest to goodness.

I don't really do it, so I can't comment authoritatively, but this is more or less what I have always felt lay behind it. Or some kind of plea for reassurance, of fishing for compliments etc.

I had a very insecure friend who used to do it.

Also insecure are the women who immediately find fault with very beautiful women and point that out: "Doesn't her nose look like a banana!" I think it's a reverse image of the same feeling.

I think secure women probably manage to notice (or not!), think it and move on to the next thought, having decided there isn't much to be gained by commenting - and telling their other half probably just leaves them feeling there is a trap lying somewhere in giving their answer.

I would comment on, say, a lovely house (or hotel or painting, or whatever) to my DH, but that's because I'd like him to add it to his mental knowledge bank of "nice houses" so we are forever kind of developing and evolving our tastes alongside each other ahead of "if and when" we book a holiday, buy a house etc but I'm not really so invested in developing his taste in women ...

Yes exactly. The OP's premise (that this is an actual social trend) is just weird.

Love pointing out beautiful dogs, so many very good boys and girls to notice!

Well I've never told anyone that I do this because why would I? Only posted here because the OP (and a few others) thought it strange.

It could be that lots of people you know do it but they just don't say anything because, as I said, why would you.

We are always pointing out beautiful dogs to each other as there are loads and loads of them around

Is this actually a thing? Obviously people point out all sorts of things to their partners but I've never once encountered anyone who's then told third parties that they point out pretty women as a sort of badge of honour.

DP and I religiously point out beautiful dogs to each other but I mostly don't randomly comment on other people's looks - if so there's always a context. A while back two friends broke up - amicably so still turned up to some of the same parties and so on - but in the wake of the break-up both of them obviously hit the gym and had a glow-up, and after we left one of those parties we both commented in an amused way how HOT both of them were suddenly looking - R with her crop top and abs and swish new hairstyle, S with his newfound biceps, a tighter T-shirt than I'd ever seen him wear before and he'd actually got rid of that awful beard.

as if he didn't clock the pretty woman before his partner anyway! oh honey look at that stunning woman.. oh yes, now you have pointed her out i see her, i absolutely wasnt checking her out the second she came into view or anything

Super rare 🤣

…that’s the most contrived wraparound for an expression of insecurity I’ve ever seen on here, and framing it as an AIBU was a stroke of manipulative genius. I think the arbitrary use of ‘performative’ let you down a bit. But apart from that, absolutely top-drawer passive-aggressive goading.

I give it a 9.8.

Thank you. It's not like I am shouting at the top of my voice "oh look at that gorgeous woman" or similar.

As I said, I am a talker. I can talk for England to be honest and me and DH talk about literally everything.

I point out cute babies/toddlers to my DP. I’m post menopause so not looking to have any of our own but we are both quite broody for grand children :)

Or maybe they aren’t insecure and jealous
i always appreciate a woman looking beautiful, well dressed, or just has something about her

more than happy to share that thought with my husband, why is that a problem?

@mydogisthebest I think there's a lot of projection, insecurity and failure of imagination in some of these attacks against you. Noticing and/or decreetly pointing out something/someone rare or beautiful is not odd and I'm saddened by the responses you are recieving for something so harmless.

And those who think it's objectifying women , when we have clearly given other examples are batshit reaching .

I point out lots of beautiful things, what's the big deal? It's not weird ffs.

I am not cool, or young and I'm also a bit of a munter. None of these things bother me, that's life!

You were rude saying "you think it's ok so fucking what" and saying "so bore off" is pretty rude too. Not sure why what I do in my marriage bothers you but there you go

Yes I am happy to do it and have a happy and secure marriage.

What a non-issue.
I say to whoever I'm with, man or woman, that someone is beautiful. I'll tell the person too.
I do the same with cars and houses too.
I appreciate beautiful things and beautiful people.

I have never gawped at anyone male or female, young or old and do find that very very weird.

If I comment and, as I say, it's pretty rare, I don't do it loud enough for the person to hear and am not "encouraging" DH to join in.

Well, obviously, I don't need to comment on another woman's looks but then I don't really need to comment about a dog, a beautiful flower, a cat (shall I go on?). I am a talker and I comment on lots of different things - buildings, trees, animals etc.

I don't comment that often about woman. It's not like it's every day, more like once or twice a year if that.

If I see a stunning woman or man and I am with DH I will likely comment probably because it is not that common to see someone I think is very attractive.

Neither me or dh pay enough attention to other people to notice random attractive people. I may sometimes mention a friend's beauty (male or female) but usually only in relation to a specific event like, "oh Maria looked absolutely stunning at her party".

@GettingFestiveNow I certainly notice a fit young man, I may even flirt a little 😂I notice a friend of our DDs (in her 30s) has the ability to make my DH blush, I have a friend who is about 15 years older than my DH who goes all silly and girlish around him, she admits it and it makes us all laugh, its just being human, dosent mean we are about to jump into bed, just shows we still have some fire in our veins 😂

@thebabessavedme I'm glad someone has comprehension skills on here!

If I see a woman who I think looks great I will say so to whoever I happen to be with.

But usually it will be to do with her outfit. Or I might say, 'wow she's stunning/fit/really pretty.' If I think it I will say it, there's no ulterior motive involved whatsoever.

I'd like to think other women might occasionally say the same about me. Maybe not that I'm stunning, but at least that I've a cute outfit on.

I've never seen it IRL, but there's enough MN posts of "I said to DP that X was hot, he agreed, now I'm really upset" for me to believe it happens.

I'm a bit surprised by all these men apparently wandering around not noticing these incredibly hot beautiful women/massive topless boob jobs/perfect bums in thong bikinis until their partners point them out.