To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

As a parent of a nearly adult dd some of the comments have given me the ick. The only thing worse than being ogled by a man is being ogled by a man with support from his simpering wife. Gross. Some of you have no idea how creepy you sound.

I dunno, I'm starting to question my entire sexuality as a result of this thread.

Happy to be a weirdo though. Rather that than dull. 😆

No worries.

I think my poor husband would have a heart attack if I tried that kind of game!

Another day, another realisation that people really are so different to me thanks to the internet 🫣.

@Americano75 @mydogisthebest I bet it never occurred to you that every other person thinks you fancied every person, dog, car, flower you ever thought was eye-catching and that you were so kind of weirdo.

And fyi, I don't run up to random twenty year olds in the street and pay them compliments , behave yourselves 😂.

I think the reason it makes me feel uncomfortable is because it feels a bit like a woman saying “don’t worry dear, I’m on side with the oggling”. Trying to get approval from your husband by getting ahead of him noticing other women so it’s not your husband with a wandering eye, it’s you directing his attention and actually it’s a “we” rather than just the husband assessing other women's attractiveness and the wife/gf feeling insecure.

I find this whole thing very interesting.

Yes I think it is performative. I think it's quite rude to point out a woman and comment on her body regardless of who is pointing it out to who, female-female, male-male, male-female. Talking about someone being attractive when they are not around is fine but pointing someone out could make the pointed out person feel very uncomfortable if they clock it.

Sorry, I should clarify that I DON'T think this is the only reason a woman might do that. I don't see anything wrong with pointing out someone attractive just because it's nice to aesthetically appreciate beautiful people.

But it is sadly true that a small minority of women view women in that fetishistic way : some even go as far as to predatorily 'unicorn hunt' on dating apps, pretending to want to date women, but later revealing they want their male partner to be involved.

Its never occurred to me to point someone out to DH unless we know them!
If someone is stunningly beautiful in our vicinity I guess I assume he can already see them as he has eyes in his head. I say 'guess' because I have never given it any thought in the 35 years ive been with him!

How the fuck would anyone know that I (or anyone else) had made a comment. Some people are so strange and can't even read posts properly. I DO NOT SAY IT SO LOUD THE PERSON CAN HEAR!!!!! Is that clear enough for you?

There are some really strange (and probably insecure) women on this thread.

I am not attracted to women in the slightest but if you want to believe I am then go ahead.

I don't say about another women to titilate my husband. I am not that pathetic.

AGAIN I will state it is something I rarely say as I don't honestly think there are that many very attractive men or women around. On the rare occasion I make it comment it will just be something like "oh what a pretty girl/woman" just as I would say "oh what a gorgeous dog/cat/baby/flower/tree". I am not having an orgasm at how wonderfully beautiful someone is and waxing lyrical to DH about them.

If you and your OH don't have that kind of relationship then fine but why be bothered that others do?

I've known couples where they make remarks about people on TV, but not seen it in public. It's not something that I've felt any desire to do and I wonder how the people who've been on the receiving end of this have felt.

Personally, I find comparing beautiful people to beautiful things makes me feel uneasy and I find discussing people in public where they can potentially see and hear & be impacted different to a private conversation at home.

The closest I've had is people who feel like they can have a conversation about my 'beautiful', 'exotic', 'interesting' or whatever preferred adjective accent in my ear shot, occasionally directly to me. With the latter, I've a few times pushed back that I find that uncomfortable - I've been where I live decades and in the political climate, the last thing I want is to be reminded that I'm always going to be an outsider. I've not once had anyone apologise, it's always 'but it's so <adjective>, combined with them wanting to pull me into their guessing game. I put them in a similar category to those who go on about how I 'don't sound local' - either way I'm an object whose caught their attention because of a difference and my feelings as a person don't come into it.

I might remark that a woman on TV is attractive but not a passerby IRL.

I just can't get my head around that, it seems very basic. I can also manage to recognise attractive men without fancying them. If I was insecure I'd keep my mouth shut!

Jeezo.

Quite, it’s fucking weird.

I think theres a difference between thinking a baby or a dog is cute and pointing out a woman is attractive to a man, thats usually a sexual attractiveness driven assessment of someone. I just don’t think secure people do this kind of thing. I know my husband isn’t blind and can see attractive women, I’ve never caught him oggling a woman thank god because I’d be downright embarrassed. I’m sure he looks, I’ve definitely had a sneaky peak myself.

It just seems like an extremely odd thing to do. I don’t point them out because other womens attractiveness isn’t important to me so I don’t focus on it. Usually when I speak to Dh about other women it’s things like “she’s so fucking funny” “she’s so clever”. I’ve only mentioned attractiveness when it’s relevant (I have a very beautiful, clever, lovely friend who’s husband seems to have zero interest in for example, we decided that being beautiful is clearly not always enough for love).

I tend to only draw Dh’s attention to things we both value, so it tends to be interesting articles. We are talking about living breathing women here and I would no more draw Dh’s attention to a beautiful woman than I would draw his attention to an unattractive womans appearance. It feels like misogyny and insecurity.

This thread is a bit odd actually, so many seem comfortable with objectifying other women.

Its really gross to encourage your husband to ogle a young woman’s bottom. How do you think she might have felt about that?

To me that's kind of the point of commenting: let's think vaguely, loosely, about when we have a grandchild/ should we get a new puppy/ do that to our garden/ buy a car like that etc.

But hot woman kind of doesn't fit the dynamic!

Sometimes I think women, especially younger ones, are trying to get a handle on his tastes so they can better adapt themselves to it - which is a bit 😬ETA It's kind of "Know Thine Enemy!" psychology sometimes I think! They'd rather know from which direction the "competition" might spring. It doesn't strike me as a secure thing to do.

It's like something Bernard Manning would say. 😆

And I've never had to resort to any such nonsense to 'titilate' my husband! 😆 🤣

I am not bi. I am not attracted to women in the slightest. Thinking someone is attractive does not mean I am attracted to them

Yes I think so too.

And as a pp rightly pointed out, it's not actually that nice for the woman herself to be unknowingly submitted for committee assessment. A private thought is one thing and often inevitable; being discussed is another - and not inevitable.

I think celebrities are a slightly different case because realistically they have to realise they are putting themselves on the radar of the public.

It puts men in a tough position. Agree and you’re saying you fancy another woman. Disagree and you’re always saying she’s wrong.

Feels like games & manipulation to me.

I didn’t realise people did this.

we’ve only done this to celebrity crushes - and even then it’s rare - we might be watching a movie and I might be like “he is handsome” or I might be staring too hard and he comments. He has said things like “I had a crush on x celeb when I was younger” - and I’d normally understand that maybe the crush is still there.

I would find it weird to do this to everyday people though. Very strange.

I suppose, if it's the only gorgeous thing you ever point out!

I can't walk by a pram without trying to get a peek, or walk past a dog without saying hello. I mean, it's nice to notice the beauty in what is often a dark world.

Are these women bi? I am & know some who who are & do this. I don't like it myself, in my view I tends to be women who'd never consider a relationship with a woman but view attraction to women almost in a fetishistic way, as if the main thing they like about it is that they can use it to titillate men.