To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

If I had ever done this, DH would ask what was the matter with me!

Probably because you're a well adjusted person who enjoys compliments - I know I do 😉.

Sorry for the well adjusted swipe ,but I'm getting sick of the very personal digs implying that we're all some kind of pervs that go around objectifying women 🙄 - it's getting ridiculous now.

Why do you care OP? It’s a bit weird to be bothered about this…

I think you’re misunderstanding the tone of these interactions, which is obviously difficult to convey in writing.

I don’t do it ‘all the time’; this isn’t a daily occurrence and not anything that’s made a big deal of. It’s not about encouraging my DP to assess anyone’s attractiveness or check out women - I’m not saying ‘Phwoaar, get a look at her’ as someone walks past. That would indeed be grim. Neither of us would ever do that.

I just see a comment on someone being attractive as a being neutral, incidental observation if I’m describing someone. I notice all sorts of things about all sorts of people and that might be one of them. To me, observing that our tour guide had an incredibly beautiful face as well as being a brilliant guide was no different to, eg, observing that the man who ran the cafe where we got breakfast each morning looked a lot like my DP’s Uncle Malcolm. Or that our slightly odd neighbours always dress very similarly to each other, or that Claudia Winkleman has incredibly shiny hair, or that Andy Burnham has eyelashes worthy of a mascara advert.

We all notice things about other people all the time. Someone being remarkably attractive is one of a billion things I might notice or mention when I’m talking about them, and I don’t see anything degrading about that.

And yes, I would definitely be just as likely to make an observation about a man - as would DP.

Neither of us are making constant comments on how hot people are or anything; this isn’t a massive deal at all. But it’s also not a banned topic of conversation or anything either of us is bothered by.

Not sure why you and a few other posters would think the subject of good-looking men is off limits. I don't comment on random people's attractiveness a huge amount but yes, sometimes there'll be context for DP or I mentioning a man is particularly good-looking.

It's actually interesting to see what the other one perceives as "good-looking". I'm not attracted to women sexually so when a woman catches my eye visually it's often because I look her style or overall aesthetic, or because I appreciate that she's obviously put a lot of work into her exercise. I find that when DP (and other straight men) speak admiringly of how another man looks, it's always a ripped gym bro with cartoonish muscles who looks like a roided-up potato to me, which is the same thing from the other side. When we do talk about good-looking people we can both end up being very "if you say so, dear".

I do this because I am bisexual and my partner is not. I point out hot men and well dressed women with one of my gay friends, though.

I have good legs, I often get other women come up to me and say this. Not once have I ever felt objectified, why would I??

Perhaps you and your elderly husband could not objectify any women, whether she’s attractive or not, or as you say, ugly.

Oh for goodness sake. Read my posts properly and stop making them out to be what they are not.

DH does not and never has stared at any woman or man even when he was young. Yes believe or not he was young once. In fact only 22 when we married.

Just show me which of my posts says me and/or DH ogle anyone. I occasionally (very occasionally because honestly there are really not that many attractive people around) will say something like "that girl/woman is pretty" or "that man is goodlooking". I don't shout it. I don't point to them. DH doesn't start holding up scoring paddles. He may say "yes" or he may nod and we then talk about something else - the weather, what we are going to have to eat, where we are taking our dog, or a million other things.

We talk all the time about everything and anything - something some posters don't seem to comprehend. Maybe you and your partners don't really talk (plenty of couples don't). We do. We are best friends (something else so many here find odd) and best friends talk.

Anyway I am not posting any more and in future I shall make sure I only ever point out ugly people to DH and make sure to make a big song and dance about it

It’s not what your other posts say. Nobody wants an old bloke staring at them.

That a really judgemental statement, and one that I think that lack's intelligence it more a sign of two people who are confident in they relationship and in themselves , and the same as saying it to your mate

I do it all the time! I think women look at other women’s bodies just as much, but in a more appreciative fashion. If I see a woman with an amazing figure I think “bloody hell girl, I can see you’ve worked had for that body and you look amazing”. DH and I are really in to the gym and muscle building though, so we both notice when a woman, or man, has put effort in to their bodies.

Sometimes some women are just gorgeous though, and I definitely point that out.

Thats the thing, most of the women on here aren’t insecure or jealous. Thats not the reason I don’t do it. The reason I don’t do it I think is

a) it wouldn’t occur to me
b) I would feel creepy encouraging my husband to assess the attractiveness of some poor random woman in the street who never asked us to look at her or pass comment on her
c) objectifying women is horrendous, I have a Dd I want it stamped out.
d) it would make me feel like I’m in some way degrading myself and other women simultaneously (I would feel like a pick me).

I don’t think people who find this objectionable are insecure I think they think women who do this are insecure and that it’s weird and slightly gross behaviour.

How often does your Dh comment on how good looking men are? Do you point out fit men all the time? If it’s just women then yeah I think you have internalised misogyny.

He will always notice a dog but not a person
Thats me! We can be walking along and I'll go 'DH LooK!!!!!!'
Dh will be like 'yeah, its a dog, cute but its a dog! 😆 🤣 😂

I don't point anyone out and nor am I commenting on their body.

Oh believe me DH is highly unlikely to see them. He has, in the past, been sat close to a famous person (both male and female) and has never noticed.

He will always notice a dog but not a person

Exactly. Like, why would I do that if I’m not bisexual? I’m not out here pointing out every attractive guy to my partner and expecting him to join in. So I don’t really see the point. I can acknowledge when a woman or men is gorgeous, obviously, but that’s something I’d say to the person to make them happy, not to my partner, unless there’s a specific context, like if I’m fangirling, or we’re talking about celebrities we like, that kind of casual random chatter after a couple drinks with friends, that's a different vibe entirely. But as a general habit? No. It doesn’t make sense to me and seems a little degrading and also objectifying of others.

I’m not sure why this matters to anyone. Some women do things differently to you. So what? Not your relationship, not your problem.

I find it very misogynistic when people immediately assume that anyone who has a more relaxed approach than them to certain things is ‘just trying to be a cool wife’ to impress/keep/attract men, rather than simply living her life in a way that works for her. The assumption that any woman who doesn’t seem insecure or jealous of other women is secretly just doing it for men is so dismissive and reductive of women’s experiences and autonomy. Women are capable of making honest choices for themselves. Sometimes they might be different from yours.

I don’t spend my life pointing out women to my partner but if someone strikes me as unusually and noticeably attractive I might make that observation to him just as I would to any of my friends. A while back DP and I had a guided tour of a small visitor attraction. Afterwards we were chatting about how good the tour guide was and I said “Also, HOW stunning was she?!” or something because the girl was, indeed, absurdly beautiful. I’ve also made joking remarks to DP when we’ve been walking behind a woman wearing tiny shorts, just in a “Blimey, she’s not shy is she? type way.

I went to an all girls school and was bullied relentlessly by people like you who could never say anything nice about another girl

Deleted by poster

I went to an all girls school and was bullied relentlessly by people like you who could never say anything nice about another girl.

As the parent of an actual adult daughter I been assure you I've never 'ogled' a woman in my life.

Yeah I think it’s weird, I was out for the day once with my friend, well she’s an ex friend now and her husband, it was a hot day we were in a park, a woman was sitting down but she leant over to see to her kids and she clearly had no knickers on, my ex friend this is going to seem weird well it was, she started smiling and nudged her husband to look, it was almost like she got excited about it, her husband wasn’t very happy though he told her off, and told her to calm down, I just thought how strange of her to do that, I’ve never forgot her weird behaviour.