Is this too long a commute?

Yep plenty of people commute from Brighton to London (for example) 5 days per week. This is probably a shorter commute than they have.

Two days a week would be fine, I do 13.5 hour shifts semi regularly and have had jobs with 4 hour round trip commutes, and it’s is a pain but not particularly tiring. You can doze on the train, eat breakfast, read a book etc.

Your DP would need to step up on those days and cook dinner etc though - it wouldn’t be fair for you to get in and immediately have to pick up all of the chores and childcare.

A lot of emergency workers, control room staff, carers, ward support staff work four 12 hour shifts a week plus commute and often leave late and also have children. So it’s not unusual.

Edit for typos.

Oh yes and I only go in 10-4 so it’s not that long of a day really. I still find it knackering mind!

I have a 2.5 hour round trip commute that I do a couple of times a month, the most I would do is once a week. My kids are high school age though. Depends how available your partner is really, mine works away in the week.

I would say work drinks can be a bit tricky. My workmates go out quite a bit and we have Xmas dos and awards and things and I always need to be keeping an eye on the.clock and the train updates because if I miss the 11.30 then all trains stop and I'm in central London for the night! Which means either paying out £300 on a horrible hotel or sleeping at my desk and hoping the cleaner doesn't notice.

I do similar days. When my children were younger it’s not so easy but it has become part of our routine. So for me I am out of the house at 7am and back at 6.45. Sometimes 4 days a week. What will happen though is at 6.30 you will walk through the door to tired to join bedtime with two tired children.

we found a balance in our house - I miss bedtime a couple of days a week which means when you are home from the commute - you can just take that time to decompress before doing anything.

how likely is the company to move to 4 days a week? I was 2 days a week 2 years ago and now enforced 4 days a week and it’s tough

If you’ve got a decent partner and they’ll be WFH on your office days I would- no stress about delays and missing pick up.

It also depends what your options are. I’m in the Home Counties and a lot of people do that type of commute two days a week.

Are you reasonably likely to get a seat on the train? If so, you'll probably enjoy having that time to relax without constantly dealing with the demands of small children.

Depends, leaving a cushy WFH job to do it, maybe not. Doing it instead of unemployment, definitely would

I think it’s fine for 2 days if the other parent is fully available for pick ups and drop offs and dealing with illness.

Because it’s a train ride I wouldn’t mind too much as you can read/relax or catch up on life admin on the train. And the walk is exercise (although I would get a taxi if torrential rain) I wouldn’t do it in a car.
But if there was potential for a similar job closer to home I would hold out for that if I could.

How flexible is work going to be with the WFH days, really? Is there not a risk 2 days in the office will turn into 3, then 4, maybe even 5? It's been known to happen. Same question for your DH, too.

OP to be fair some people don’t have a choice, so if you do then I’d say no, but 2 days out of 7 is really not that bad. As long as THEIR day isn’t that long.

You will survive albeit knackered!

This is very similar to my set up. I have a nursery aged kid and one in reception, my journey twice a week is: 10m drive to station (DH gives me a lift), 40m train, 30m window for getting from London terminal to desk (usually takes about 20m but I need to build in the time in case of delays). We leave at 8am for me to get to desk at 9.30 and I leave the office at 5.30pm to get home for 7.

Personally I find it doable twice a week (and like you I make sure those are DH’s wfh days so someone is nearby in case of emergencies). I get that it seems daunting if you’ve been fully remote but I actually do enjoy the way the commute separates up the day. I feel like I’m rushing less on those days as DC are fully DH’s responsibility (I literally can’t do bathtime as I’m on a train!) so I can just focus on myself and work in a way that I used to pre kids.

I did a similar commute for 8 years, whilst my kids were little. I did it two or three days and worked from
home for the rest of the week. It was tough but I got used to it. I didn’t prioritise my health/sleep and was sick a lot. I took a job near home 3 years ago and have realised how tired I always was. But if you can get enough sleep it’s doable, and for me was worth it for the job.

It would depend how many hours you work? Full time role? Then no.

Yes my current commute by train is an hour long, and i always get a seat, and because I just read Reddit and Mumsnet and watch YouTube videos, it almost feels like time at home on the sofa. Not too bad at all.

Yes would do that in your situation for the right job.

I have a 2 year old and a few times a month (3 or 4) have to do a 2hr each way driving commute to HQ. Out of the house from 6am to 7pm. Tough days but fine with a hands on partner.

I've just accepted a job where I'll be doing this. I don't have kids, which of course takes away the stress around making it home at a specific time.
If it's only 2 days a week, I could put up with almost anything.

I used to do similar. DH was the contact point for the DC and did the childminder run those days, I did the other three when I was in the office. Assuming your other half is competent (which he should be!) then it will be fine. And yes, I did the weekly shop, read, wrote Xmas cards etc etc

Mine was like that with 15 mins to the station. Fully sympathise. It’s far too long!

I did similar 3 days / week with young children (pre covid so wfh was much rarer)

It’s doable but you have to be really organised with all the rest of the household things. The worst issues were kids getting ill during school day or last minute changes at school that needed attention- but if your partner is around that might relieve the pressure.

I used the train in to work but always used the journey home to read, watch iPad etc to make the most of a bit of quiet time

Too far for me with young children, if you need to get home quickly it’s going to be complicated. If the trains are delayed or bad weather it’s going to be really stressful. I wouldn’t do it. No way.

Yes - I used to do similar if not longer and I was earning eff all when I look back. But I caveat that with having had little luck in applying for jobs over the last year. Apparently 1 in 5 adults isn't working but no one wants to talk about the lack of jobs or why no one can get one...