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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this a good result?

109 replies

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 18:14

New poster. DD (21) plead guilty for perverting course of justice. Three charges, concurrent etc. First offence, MH issues etc and she got 18 months suspended for 18 months and 12 month Mental health treatment requirement. I didn’t have chance to ask solicitor/ barrister what he thought on result but I just think this seems a little harsh? I thought a community order. I won’t go into much detailed but she told multiple lies etc to police. NO one was arrested as a result of her lies. she had MH issues. Probation recommend community order so I I think this seems harsh tbh. Any one any experience.

OP posts:
Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:14

I know the cancer stuff is disgusting ok. She didn’t benefit anything from it didn’t do it for money etc. she is exceptionally vulnerable and troubled.

OP posts:
Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:13

DinaofCloud9 · 07/11/2025 20:13

You're also lying about her having cancer? That's disgusting.

No, as soon as I found. I said gone into remission. I know that’s wrong but I couldn’t say she lied.

OP posts:
Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:13

No, I’m not lieing about the cancer. She generally has physically health issues just not cancer. When I found out she didn’t have it I told family members she’s gone in remission.

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 07/11/2025 20:13

You're also lying about her having cancer? That's disgusting.

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:12

She knows I am not happy with her. Put I will never abandon her or chuck her out. Would you seriously do that your child. Lots of people cover for their kids for worse.

OP posts:
Grilledxribs · 07/11/2025 20:11

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:10

I know she’s done wrong I know ok. And past abused doesn’t excuse it. I am at a loss I love her so much.

Are you lieing about the cancer?

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:10

I know she’s done wrong I know ok. And past abused doesn’t excuse it. I am at a loss I love her so much.

OP posts:
Grilledxribs · 07/11/2025 20:10

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:08

People have done much worse than her and don’t get caught or indeed the sentenced she got!

Show quote history

Stop petting her up and put her in her place.

Grilledxribs · 07/11/2025 20:09

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:30

i need some more advice. She doesn’t seem to be able to stop lying. I really don’t know what to do. I had to tell family members she’s gone into remission with cancer etc. is this something mental health team will address?

Cancer if your lieing about that you cant get any lower. (disgusting)
You both sound like a right pair.

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 20:08

Grilledxribs · 07/11/2025 20:03

Everyone claims MH when they get caught ive got no pitty for them ive been there and been blamed, when truth comes out its MH SEN past abuse that made them do it.

No one gives a fuck about the ones that have been dragged through shit because of some drama queen.

Sorry op i have been on the other side.

Edited

People have done much worse than her and don’t get caught or indeed the sentenced she got!

OP posts:
Grilledxribs · 07/11/2025 20:03

Everyone claims MH when they get caught ive got no pitty for them ive been there and been blamed, when truth comes out its MH SEN past abuse that made them do it.

No one gives a fuck about the ones that have been dragged through shit because of some drama queen.

Sorry op i have been on the other side.

Merryoldgoat · 07/11/2025 20:00

@underthetrees1234 my grandmother was a parent like you to some of her children (the male ones).

4 utterly useless, ruined men unable to life effectively in this world. That’s what enabling your child in this way gets you.

FOJN · 07/11/2025 19:58

She's not going to prison, even though she could have done, so I don't understand why you are do upset. She just has to make sure she complies with the courts instructions.

Are you worried because you don't think she will?

Whilst her history may be a mitigating factor it doesn't mean she has a free pass to break the law for the rest of her life, she needs to address the challenges she faces. You could be more helpful by supporting and encouraging her to do that rather than wringing your hands over the court treating your baby too harshly.

She's wasted public resources but her actions haven't led to the destruction of someone else's life, which they could easily have done, so try to be grateful for that.

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:47

Dramatic · 07/11/2025 19:45

Why the hell are you indulging her lies?

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She’s been through a lot of abuse etc. she is vulnerable and my baby. I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help it.

OP posts:
Dramatic · 07/11/2025 19:45

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:30

i need some more advice. She doesn’t seem to be able to stop lying. I really don’t know what to do. I had to tell family members she’s gone into remission with cancer etc. is this something mental health team will address?

Why the hell are you indulging her lies?

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:36

Dollymylove · 07/11/2025 19:34

So she potentially could have ruined an innocent person's life?
Sounds like she got off lightly tbh

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She didn’t though. Not that this an excuse but it is and was a mitigating factor.

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Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:35

andweallsingalong · 07/11/2025 19:34

I would start with getting yourself some decent therapy to support you. They will help you figure out whether you should be enabling her or she needs to face the consequences of her lies.

Yeah, I’m willing to pay. What type do I even need? CBT?

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 07/11/2025 19:34

underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 18:22

She made false allegations of getting threatening phone calls and death threats

So she potentially could have ruined an innocent person's life?
Sounds like she got off lightly tbh

andweallsingalong · 07/11/2025 19:34

I would start with getting yourself some decent therapy to support you. They will help you figure out whether you should be enabling her or she needs to face the consequences of her lies.

winterbluess · 07/11/2025 19:32

I'd say fair.. the sentence is suspended, and the mental health treatment is clearly needed

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:30

i need some more advice. She doesn’t seem to be able to stop lying. I really don’t know what to do. I had to tell family members she’s gone into remission with cancer etc. is this something mental health team will address?

OP posts:
andweallsingalong · 07/11/2025 19:30

Also, mental health treatment requirements are REALLY hard to get (as with everything else mental health) so she's very lucky to have the support she needs. Hopefully with the threat of a suspended over her head she will engage well with this and it will be a turning point for her.

Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:28

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
underthetrees1234 · 07/11/2025 19:23

BlackMess · 07/11/2025 19:18

I actually know someone who was given a 2 year sentence for perverting the course of justice so a suspended sentence seems like a good result to me.

Oh really. I’m starting to realise she was very lucky.

OP posts:
BlackMess · 07/11/2025 19:18

I actually know someone who was given a 2 year sentence for perverting the course of justice so a suspended sentence seems like a good result to me.