DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

But does this imply that all girls should be treated the same and just because his nieces want something then this means DD must have this too?

Yes. Of course. Op doesn't appear to think that though, hence the thread.

And they’re also free to think it’s a huge amount of money to waste on a doll, surely?

American Dolls are made to.your own specifications , including the outfits you want . Usually to look like a mini me of your child . I bet his sister gave him the instructions or wrote them down and an assistant makes them up . Did he even wait or did they deliver to hotel.

I imagine he wouldn't have a clue as to how to customise one for your DC . Pity he didn't mention it before he left as you might have thought of it then . Did you even get a chance to request anything be brought back for you or DCs?

I dont have to understand it 🤣 people can buy whatever doll they want for no other reason than "DD will love it". As i say, it really doesn't have to be deeper than that.

Tantamount to abuse quite frankly. I don't know how you manage to cope.
Time to get your ducks in a row and LTB.
Then he'll be free to find someone less petty and ridiculous.

You don’t get what AGD are and what they mean to girls. So there’s no need to continue a conversation you don’t understand.

It’s clear you’ve never bought one.

Or, op thinks it would be a really cool doll her little girl would love. It doesn't have to be deeper than that.

One of the joys of being father to a girl is to buy fancy presents when travelling abroad. I don't have a job with travel now, but, it's really not a chore!

I'm really not sure what is stupid about not buying an expensive toy for your child that they haven't asked for when they already have lots at home?

Most men would say “ oh sil has asked me to get American girl dolls- do you think DD might want one??”

Exactly.

I wouldn't either. But that wasn't really my point - which was more to do with the lack of concern on OP's part about their son potentially being excluded from the present giving.

She is the one who doesn't view the sweets and magnet a sufficient present to bring back for the kids, but her only concern is for her daughter.

Thank you for asking the Authority of Manhood for his opinion. That settles it.

Mumsnet still wouldn’t be happy though: “why did he have to consult with you first? Doesn’t he know his own daughter and what she likes? Why is all the mental load on you to know which dolls your daughter might enjoy?”

So why didn't you ask him to go while he was in new York?

If they do, then they are spoiling the joy for the child.
These dolls are typically bought for girls 8+ because of books that come with the dolls and being able to read all about the AGD stories/ personalities. In addition to actual cost of them, slightly older girls take better care of them.

As I say, it’s a whole culture, that you either know about or you don’t. Clearly the OP has no idea about how the AGD world operates.

I'd have been horrified if my DH had spent what they cost on such a hideous doll, whether it would've been for Christmas or not. Frankly, a child would get more benefit from a magnet.

I was intrigued by all the people excusing the DH so i did the big mumsnet nono and asked my own DH.
He said: at the point SIL asked him to get the doll, he would have asked me if i thought it would be something our DD would like.

Too bloody easy.

What? No parent has ever bought their child one of these dolls without the kid carefully selecting the exact one?

Im fairly sure that cannot be true. Infact, im 100% sure.

Agree.

Doubt the posters saying this would be saying the same thing if it had been a mother who chose not to spend over £100 on a doll knowing that their child already has plenty of dolls to begin with.

See, “I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.” this is your problem.

Sounds like he’s one of those shit men who don’t participate in family life then get all pissy when you point out they should know this stuff. They’re a bit rubbish at being husbands and dads. Always frustrating and disappointing.

I’m speaking from experience as mine never really engaged with family life then recently announced he doesn’t feel part of the family and would probably like a divorce. In fact, he hasn’t actually told me he wants a divorce so I’ve been handling that too!

I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

Why can't he think for himself & not get one though?

He’s a total arse.

Imagine not knowing that your dd would like something to the extent that you would have to be told specifically by your partner that they would like it.

Does he not know his child at all?

I also find it baffling that he didn’t thing to get one or at the very least to check with you.

But AG is a whole different culture. Girls spend ages pouring over what doll they want, can spend years collecting them and many keep them as heirlooms. There’s movies about these dolls, chat rooms for kids dedicated to them too. The dolls also hold their value well, if you want to sell. They are a big investment.

Parents definitely do not on a whim, buy an AGD on the off chance their kid might like them.

Not only does it take the fun and excitement out of getting their first AGD for a girl, no parent would want to risk getting it wrong.

These dolls all have their own books and back stories. Girls enjoy reading all about the named dolls, their character/personality, their interests and hobbies and connect with a particular doll. You don’t just pick one because it looks pretty.

This is why the OP is being really unreasonable.

Or he’s an equal parent that can decide what he wants or doesn’t want to buy his children. Why is he either an idiot or nasty? Why isn’t he just a parent who didn’t buy something for his children. Why is this a problem?