DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

So he brought back perfectly standard small gifts from an overseas business trip. And spent his sister's money buying the items she has asked him to bring back.

Has your daughter even heard of this brand?

Someone said upthread that this is annoyance with yourself for not having a conversation before he left about bringing back Christmas gifts for the kids your daughter. I agree with them. And either one of you could have initiated that conversation so it is not solely on him.

It feels very much like a product marketed at the parents, doesn't it? Most "realistic" dolls are creepy but most of them don't cost hundreds of dollars! It feels like the kind of thing people buy because they think it gives them some kind of status, not because there's any particular quality in the product itself.

This would also explain why OP is so invested in this.They're just kids' toys, you don't need to be so invested.

Doesn't he know what his own DD likes? Unfortunately, late DH was the same, he didn't really know the DC.

If you go on line you will find it very easy to get an American girl doll. They aren't difficult to get hold of, plenty to choose from.

American Girl Doll shops are really quite creepy. It's full of parents trying to style dolls to look like their children and vice versa.
As a pp said it's the experience of buying and styling the doll (including the dolly hair salon and beauty parlour 🤢) that people are really paying for. If you are not doing that then it's just a doll with vaguely the same hair colour and skin tone as you.
I don't think your DH did anything wrong. He brought home a present he thought your children would like, things that are difficult to get here (unlike a doll). He did a favour for his sister. Both are good things.

Spot on. Responses like these make me cringe for women.

Your husband is doing your dd a favour. If the messaging she's getting from you is "buy all the shit even if you've already got 10 of the same thing" then he's encouraging her to think independently, not jump on the materialistic, branded shit bandwagon, and appreciate what she's got.

If my sister asked me to buy $100 dolls on a work trip it wouldn't cross my mind to do the same for my dd. And I'm not even a man. I'd be rolling my eyes at the mindless brand marketing she was being sucked in by. Small children don't love dolls because of the brand, they love the games they can play with them and the imagination it sparks. Let them enjoy that feeling for a bit longer, especially if your dd already has lots of dolls.

Oh yes, clearly men can fly planes, perform surgery, run companies but one missed doll confirms they need need constant supervision . Makes total sense .

Your being ridiculous

It’s not our job to do the thinking for our husbands. This is basically his argument, isn’t it? It’s her fault for not telling him.

God only knows how all of these men manage at work without their wives there doing their thinking.

Completely ridiculous. There's absolutely no suggestion he isn't going to get any Christmas presents at all. He just didn't get one specific one that hadn't been requested 2 months early.

90% of the American Girl Doll fun is the in store experience. I honestly had no idea people outside of the US even cared about them, but I’m from the 1900s and when I was a child it was exclusively the historical dolls and the babies, I know they’ve expanded now as taking my DDs there is like going to a theme park.
They’re also expensive. If it had been me I would have considered it, then dismissed purchasing one as then I’d need to find a gift of equal value for DS and seems he’d already bought them some bits and was just doing something for his sister - which he was probably roundly regretting and trying to finish as quickly as possible, because those stores are huge, crowded, and chaotic.

Right ,because not buying a doll clearly oppresses the household. Sinister stuff .

🙄

I swear some women just want to make life miserable for themselves

What?

The equivalent would be, on his birthday don't buy him the exact same as your sister is getting her husband just because you are in the shop already and actually put some thought into his gift.

A lot of men do this sort of thing to show that they are in charge, The most important person. Then plead to be the innocent.

It's also a way of them pulling rank under the Oh Well that's what men are like. Which some women put up with as par for the course. They don't want to rock.the boat.

Next time it is his birthday..Don't get him.anything and say you were really busy with kids and just forgot.

Why is it common sense for him
to think that he should buy a £200 doll for
his daughter just because his sister is buying one for her daughters?

No its quite the opposite, he did think for himself and decided his daughter didnt need one. Thats OPs problem

"Husband spent 60 quid on a doll without asking me. AIBU to be annoyed that dh spent this much on a doll when DD has tons and we hadnt discussed it"

If you genuinely think your daughter would love one, and will know that her cousins have them and be sad, then I think you have to try to get hold of one online regardless of cost and then your DH will never forget or make this kind of error ever again.

If it’s possible you are overreacting and your daughter won’t care or particularly want this very expensive doll then I would try to let it go OP It is hard to understand why he didn’t think to run it by you but he’s a man and they are dolls so go easy on him.

Isn't the problem more that he did think for himself and decided his dd, who already had loads of dolls, didn't need a £100+ doll she didn't even ask for and instead got both his children small souvenirs.
Whereas the OP would prefer he didn't make the decision himself and ask her instead?

Sounds like the kind of man who cannot think for himself / use common sense and will only do something if expressly asked.

I would go insane being with somebody like that.

This is a common idea, but there has never been a study that indicates it's true.

We know men don't think of their children's needs as much as women. Absolutely no evidence they can't. It's an issue of privilege.

Sorry, but men cannot multitask. Fact. They can only think and focus on one thing at a time. It was really beyond his capabilities to think of his daughter at the same time as focussing on nieces. Sad but true…..

Don't generalise about men or women then. It wouldn't have crossed my mind either. It would more likely have crossed DH's mind than mine and it's not a male/female thing. Not does it make DH better than me for thinking about Christmas presents early.