Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

415 replies

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 11/11/2025 05:52

SoftBalletShoes · 10/11/2025 14:49

I'm an adult collector. Here's one of my AG boy dolls being really naughty! 🤣

A flasher! I am so embarrassed! I love that there are more boy dolls being made now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/11/2025 15:01

If he got dd a doll then would need to find something for DS as well

SoftBalletShoes · 10/11/2025 14:51

TheChicDreamer · 10/11/2025 13:29

I can understand your disappointment, op. But these are really expensive dolls and as previous posters have said, they probably require a bit of planning beforehand as there are so many of them. They’re really pretty dolls though, and if I were a young girl again, I’d love them! Can you order one from the UK?
I know I’m probably missing the point, but this imo is an even nicer doll.

Edited

As a collector, I have some Gotz dolls and they're lovely.

SoftBalletShoes · 10/11/2025 14:49

I'm an adult collector. Here's one of my AG boy dolls being really naughty! 🤣

Sensitive content
DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces
TMess · 10/11/2025 14:37

SquareEyedSue · 10/11/2025 08:11

Eighteen inches!? They’re almost as tall as me! And he had two of them. How on earth did he manage? I bet questions were asked at check-in when they saw two lifelike heads poking out of his luggage. How the hell did op expect him to manage 3 of the things!!

Are you in the book of world records then, as the shortest woman ever measured was still 24”. 😂

They do come in very large and bulky boxing though, part of why I said he was probably regretting agreeing to pick them up for SIL.

Labelledelune · 10/11/2025 14:02

Futurehappiness · 09/11/2025 14:10

Some of us are not psychic and don't know how your post was meant.

I’ve shown it to some of my friend who found it quite funny, so maybe it’s you who needs a personality transplant.

TheLivelyRose · 10/11/2025 13:53

GinkoRebelFoxes · 10/11/2025 13:37

He’s an arse. My husband has been on loads of trips and managed to bring back lovely presents for me and the children because he pays attention to us.

Another one who hasn't read the thread

TheAlertLimeSnail · 10/11/2025 13:53

GinkoRebelFoxes · 10/11/2025 13:37

He’s an arse. My husband has been on loads of trips and managed to bring back lovely presents for me and the children because he pays attention to us.

OP's husband did bring home gifts...

GinkoRebelFoxes · 10/11/2025 13:37

He’s an arse. My husband has been on loads of trips and managed to bring back lovely presents for me and the children because he pays attention to us.

TheChicDreamer · 10/11/2025 13:29

I can understand your disappointment, op. But these are really expensive dolls and as previous posters have said, they probably require a bit of planning beforehand as there are so many of them. They’re really pretty dolls though, and if I were a young girl again, I’d love them! Can you order one from the UK?
I know I’m probably missing the point, but this imo is an even nicer doll.

TheLivelyRose · 10/11/2025 12:52

Magnificentkitteh · 10/11/2025 10:27

I agree the useless man comments seem incongruous. It sounds like this company has clever marketing. Like plenty of other places, build a bear springs to mind and it was ty plushies when my kids were small which had names and birthdays. I'm sure there were limited edition ones my daughter would have covered from America or wherever. But it doesn't mean she was deprived by not having one, and if someone had asked me to pick up a giant ty unicorn with super duper accessories for £££ on my business trip I would have done but wouldn't have immediately thought that it would be a good idea to get DD one too, and make it her main Christmas present. Especially if she might rather have had the penguin or whatever if she'd been there to choose and I'd temporarily taken leave of my senses enough to give her free rein.

It's massive projection to think OP's DD is missing out on some childhood staple by not having one of these particular brands of doll, which are presumably only coveted in the UK because of social media. And to build it up into a narrative that the OP's DH doesn't care enough about his DD to buy one, is just proof of how commercialism can get out of hand.

Edited

Jellycat is the next big thing. Retirements, limited editions, gloclbal exclusives.

I bought the Steepy Teabag as a niece wanted it and I happened to see it. But £25 for that shred of fabric hardly seems worth it.

People are going crazy to get hold of this limited release jelly cat though.

Magnificentkitteh · 10/11/2025 10:27

I agree the useless man comments seem incongruous. It sounds like this company has clever marketing. Like plenty of other places, build a bear springs to mind and it was ty plushies when my kids were small which had names and birthdays. I'm sure there were limited edition ones my daughter would have covered from America or wherever. But it doesn't mean she was deprived by not having one, and if someone had asked me to pick up a giant ty unicorn with super duper accessories for £££ on my business trip I would have done but wouldn't have immediately thought that it would be a good idea to get DD one too, and make it her main Christmas present. Especially if she might rather have had the penguin or whatever if she'd been there to choose and I'd temporarily taken leave of my senses enough to give her free rein.

It's massive projection to think OP's DD is missing out on some childhood staple by not having one of these particular brands of doll, which are presumably only coveted in the UK because of social media. And to build it up into a narrative that the OP's DH doesn't care enough about his DD to buy one, is just proof of how commercialism can get out of hand.

TheLivelyRose · 10/11/2025 10:00

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 09:49

Yes, the Our Generation dolls are cheaper, but they are also lesser quality.

For most, it isn't an issue but the hair, because of the lesser quality, doesn't stay as nice, and the vinyl is not the same quality. That said, they are very nice play dolls, especially for children who don't take care of things (which is the majority at a young age).

Gotz dolls, like Hannah and Happy Kidz cost as much as AG, but they are easy to get in the UK and difficult to get in the USA. I feel, that quality-wise, Gotz wins over all the other play dolls of that size. Sadly, they stopped making Kidz 'n Catz dolls so can only find them at secondary seller places.

Maru and Friends are beautiful and well made, but 20" tall so it's harder to get clothes, unless you can sew, as I don't know if Our Generation or AG doll clothing will fit.

I liked it years ago when there were so many makers of dolls and all were so different, yet the same size and could share clothes.

Yes, but for a child who is 6 years old and already has tons of dolls. Our generation might be a better shout than a very expensive and exclusive doll. If she's just going to grow out of playing with them in a couple of years.

One of the nieces is only two that means the doll can be kept for her.And she'll have it a while.

A six year old probably won't be brushing dolly's hair when she's eleven. So less than five years out of such an expensive toy.

Not every child needs an expensive doll costing three figures. I had quite a cheap plastic doll when I was a child and I absolutely loved her. What on earth do you think the children get whose parents can't afford these toys? Lower quality doesn't mean the child lost their doll any less. Thats an adult imposing those standards.

I find so bizarre about this thread.Is that the original poster has not given any indication that her daughter asked for another doll for christmas at all, let alone an american girl doll. Her husband probably made the right shout.But here are all the adults.Looking up even more expensive or equivalent dolls for something rhis child hasn't even asked for.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 09:49

TheLivelyRose · 10/11/2025 08:34

It's quite weird that she's upset her daughter will never have one of these dolls.

I would wager most american girls will never have one of these dolls. Because their parents can't afford them.

It's very interesting that people think he's a bad father because he didn't spend over a hundred pounds on a doll when she's already got so many.

Our Generation dolls are a cheaper equivalent and widely available here. Get her one of those and if she doesn't play with it much you know you didnt waste your money.

Edited

Yes, the Our Generation dolls are cheaper, but they are also lesser quality.

For most, it isn't an issue but the hair, because of the lesser quality, doesn't stay as nice, and the vinyl is not the same quality. That said, they are very nice play dolls, especially for children who don't take care of things (which is the majority at a young age).

Gotz dolls, like Hannah and Happy Kidz cost as much as AG, but they are easy to get in the UK and difficult to get in the USA. I feel, that quality-wise, Gotz wins over all the other play dolls of that size. Sadly, they stopped making Kidz 'n Catz dolls so can only find them at secondary seller places.

Maru and Friends are beautiful and well made, but 20" tall so it's harder to get clothes, unless you can sew, as I don't know if Our Generation or AG doll clothing will fit.

I liked it years ago when there were so many makers of dolls and all were so different, yet the same size and could share clothes.

pinkspeakers · 10/11/2025 08:46

usedtobeaylis · 07/11/2025 17:29

It constant on here and it's nauseating. Things make a lot more sense in the world when you see what woman go out of their way, actually out of their way, to excuse and enable.

Mosf of this thread just seems crazy to me. I just cannot comprehend why some people are seeing this as "useless man" behaviour. Or worse!

I am a woman and if I had been in the DH's place I would absolutely have done the same as him. I'd have bought the dolls as asked for by the SIL in order to be helpful. However, there is no way I would have bought a big, ugly, expensive doll for my own daughter. I would probably have bought small gifts from the trip for my own children (not necessarily, tbh, depending on time constraints and whether I saw anything appropriate). I would not have consulted my DH ( I can make these decisions for myself, thank you). And if DH had gone on the trip and bought the doll I would have done some inward eye rolling.

Aluna · 10/11/2025 08:38

SquareEyedSue · 10/11/2025 08:11

Eighteen inches!? They’re almost as tall as me! And he had two of them. How on earth did he manage? I bet questions were asked at check-in when they saw two lifelike heads poking out of his luggage. How the hell did op expect him to manage 3 of the things!!

You can’t be 1 ft 6.

TheLivelyRose · 10/11/2025 08:34

It's quite weird that she's upset her daughter will never have one of these dolls.

I would wager most american girls will never have one of these dolls. Because their parents can't afford them.

It's very interesting that people think he's a bad father because he didn't spend over a hundred pounds on a doll when she's already got so many.

Our Generation dolls are a cheaper equivalent and widely available here. Get her one of those and if she doesn't play with it much you know you didnt waste your money.

Tourmalines · 10/11/2025 08:16

SquareEyedSue · 10/11/2025 08:11

Eighteen inches!? They’re almost as tall as me! And he had two of them. How on earth did he manage? I bet questions were asked at check-in when they saw two lifelike heads poking out of his luggage. How the hell did op expect him to manage 3 of the things!!

Hmmm , I’m sure you’re more than 18inches . Lol

SquareEyedSue · 10/11/2025 08:11

smithsgj · 09/11/2025 23:35

The sodding dolls are 18 inches tall (Wikipedia). The SIL is as unreasonable as they come! Bonkers

Eighteen inches!? They’re almost as tall as me! And he had two of them. How on earth did he manage? I bet questions were asked at check-in when they saw two lifelike heads poking out of his luggage. How the hell did op expect him to manage 3 of the things!!

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 10/11/2025 06:14

I think you're being ridiculous. Your DD wouldn't even notice, unless you make a big deal out of it. Your SIL had a specific request and sent the cash.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 03:10

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 01:35

That was really nice of you! If OP decides to get one from there (and the price is not that bad), I suggest not getting one with braids or curls, though Julie's little braid is not bad. Nanea, Isabel, Nicki and Julie have the easiest hair. Nicki has really beautiful hair and eyes and I love Julie as she is a "60's" girl.

Sorry, Julie is a 70's girl. Aged myself more than I needed to. 😉

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 01:35

TeddySchnauzer · 09/11/2025 16:14

OP there’s a website called dollstoysngifts.co.uk if you message the guy - Simon - he can order one for you from the US at a really reasonable rate!

Slightly more expensive but there’s also mydollcollection.co.uk who are in the uk and sell the .

That was really nice of you! If OP decides to get one from there (and the price is not that bad), I suggest not getting one with braids or curls, though Julie's little braid is not bad. Nanea, Isabel, Nicki and Julie have the easiest hair. Nicki has really beautiful hair and eyes and I love Julie as she is a "60's" girl.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 01:17

Magnificentkitteh · 07/11/2025 16:01

It sounds like it wasn't a general toy shop though but this specific brand's retail outlet. I've never heard of them and just googled and they look like generic dolls to me. I can imagine myself in such a shop because someone had asked me without it crossing my mind that it was anything special that I should particularly buy for DD, even if she did like dolls in general. Is it something your daughter has specifically mentioned?

I agree that they are generic but the fact they are so popular and have stories about them and such cute accessories, it makes them "special". Especially since they cannot be bought in the UK (which I think is royally dumb).

Personally, if I was going to buy a nice doll for a little girl, I'd look for Kidz 'n Catz, Gotz Happy Kids, Gotz Hannah or look for an older 18" Robert Tonner doll on ebay. All have great hair and the Kidz and Happy Kids are jointed, which is fun.

smithsgj · 09/11/2025 23:35

The sodding dolls are 18 inches tall (Wikipedia). The SIL is as unreasonable as they come! Bonkers

RawBloomers · 09/11/2025 18:43

Unless DD has been consistently asking for an American Girl Doll, I don’t think it’s particularly poor to not knee jerk buy something just because you’re doing a favour for your sister. DD would have loved the doll, but it sounds like she’d probably love a lot of different dolls. I don’t think I’d have bought one if I’d been in your DH’s position. Better to sit down and really think about what you want to get her for Christmas than pick something up just because her cousins are getting the same thing.