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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

415 replies

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Brefugee · 07/11/2025 16:00

Onefortheroad25 · 07/11/2025 15:43

It’s a pity he didn’t tell you he was going to the store for his sister and then you could have told him to get one for dd too. I think he just didn’t think.

bollocks. He knows his daughter likes dolls. He must realise, since his sister asked him to get them, that you can't get them in the uk.

We aren'T men's external brains. They have to think for themselves,

Sorry, OP, you're married to an arse.

Sartre · 07/11/2025 15:59

Aw I don’t actually think he meant to be an arse here. He went in the shop with a function in mind, to fulfil SIL’s request (at her expense). He didn’t think of DD because, as he said, she has a lot of dolls already. I don’t think he meant anything by it, he just didn’t think.

Devilsmommy · 07/11/2025 15:57

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/11/2025 15:41

He's an arse.

Sorry.

This 100%. If you're in a toy shop buying something for two nieces, how would your own daughter not even cross your mind?

toottoot3 · 07/11/2025 15:52

@Closetangeli imagine the problem is he's going to more trouble than he would for his own kid, he could have asked if she thought kids needed anything if going to a toy shop even than taxing his poor busy man brain

Tryingatleast · 07/11/2025 15:51

Randomlygeneratedname

I've picked stuff up when abroad for other people, I find it stressful making sure I'm getting the right thing as it is their money and can't easily be returned. My kids wouldn't even feature in my brain as I would be too busy kicking myself for agreeing to put myself in this situation in the first place.

This would be me too, I’ve regularly been asked to bring home x and y and then gotten home and suddenly thought ‘oh crap, I didn’t even get the kids or dh anything!’

Rosecoffeecup · 07/11/2025 15:49

If he had done this for the nieces on his own initiative then I'd be very miffed, but he's only bought them because SiL asked him to, its not as though he's actually been thinking of them over his own DD

dammit88 · 07/11/2025 15:49

I think you are really annoyed that you didn’t think of it and your SIL did.

Closetangel · 07/11/2025 15:48

It's really not a big deal! He was on a business trip, he picked something his sister specifically told him to get. He thought your DD has enough dolls, Jesus is this something to write on social media about?

CosySeason · 07/11/2025 15:46

Unthoughtful but probably not new behaviour.

BettysRoasties · 07/11/2025 15:46

That’s sad. Most dads I’d like to think in a store buying something for little girls with his own little girl at home would go daughter would love one I’ll get her one as well.

He shouldn’t need to be told what his daughter likes and loves he should have known. It’s poor both in not thinking and clearly not knowing her well enough to know she’s love one.

Randomlygeneratedname · 07/11/2025 15:45

Swiftie1878 · 07/11/2025 15:44

How sad ☹️