Page 16 | DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

GehenSieweiter · 07/11/2025 16:30

He didn't buy anything for his nieces, he got the gift's on his sister's behalf. Did you specify anything he should get for your DD? If she's already got loads of dolls then he probably didn't think to get more.

Pistachiocake · 07/11/2025 16:28

Randomlygeneratedname · 07/11/2025 15:45

I've picked stuff up when abroad for other people, I find it stressful making sure I'm getting the right thing as it is their money and can't easily be returned. My kids wouldn't even feature in my brain as I would be too busy kicking myself for agreeing to put myself in this situation in the first place.

Depending on your airline, weight/size of packages can be an issue, too. Especially if you're trying to stick to cabin luggage, so that's why I wouldn't ask, not these days when you can usually buy online anyway.

CheeseWisely · 07/11/2025 16:27

Just looked them up and they’re about £60!! Has your DD specifically expressed an interest in an American Girl doll? There’s no way I’d spend that on a doll that wasn’t sat at the very top of her Christmas list (and if it were then surely you’d have asked him to pick one up, if he didn’t already know to).

Greenfinch7 · 07/11/2025 16:27

I agree that he didn't do anything thoughtless or bad here- he brought dd a small gift and he didn't think of getting her another doll. That doesn't mean he is uncaring, in my opinion- it is disappointing as she would have liked the doll, but they are expensive, so something to mull over, perhaps.

If you want to order her an American Girl Doll, there are ways to do that (for instance, I have brought things to the UK from the US for Mumsnetters before!).

sesquipedalian · 07/11/2025 16:26

Well, OP, you can get American Girl dolls here, but they’re rather expensive - https://mydollcollection.co.uk/american-girl
Perhaps if he has to buy one at these prices, next time he’ll think of his own DD.

american girl

https://mydollcollection.co.uk/american-girl

diddl · 07/11/2025 16:22

They don't strike me as hideous but nothing special either.

Switcher · 07/11/2025 16:21

Men are just really fucking thick. I could easily imagine this scenario arising with my DH.

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 16:21

HelloGreen · 07/11/2025 16:07

My own daughter has lots of dolls so I don’t think I’d get one for her in that situation either.

If my kid had a lot of one type of thing, I wouldn’t either and I know more about the kids toys than DH.

It tends to become more clutter that I have to remind them to clean up or do myself.

My DH has brought back NYC police cars and fire trucks for our sons but they didn’t have a lot of cars then. Definitely wouldn’t want him too now that they do have plenty of them, especially since I got rid/donated a bunch of toys they had about that they weren’t playing with and didn’t notice were gone.

Closetangel · 07/11/2025 16:18

TamarindCottage · 07/11/2025 16:11

Blah blah blah “… Jesus is this something to comment on social media about?” (Sic)

You know you could’ve scrolled on, right?

Show quote history

Yeah could've, but didn't want to.

Prokovopera · 07/11/2025 16:14

American Girl Dolls are really expensive- perhaps what really happened was he decided his daughter did not need such a pricey doll.

FickleOcelot · 07/11/2025 16:13

I wouldn't be buying an American Girl doll for anyone who hadn't specifically asked for one as they're hideous, even if i was in the store already.

CheeseWisely · 07/11/2025 16:12

Randomlygeneratedname · 07/11/2025 15:45

I've picked stuff up when abroad for other people, I find it stressful making sure I'm getting the right thing as it is their money and can't easily be returned. My kids wouldn't even feature in my brain as I would be too busy kicking myself for agreeing to put myself in this situation in the first place.

Honestly, this would be me too.

Different story if he’d independently picked up something for his nieces as a gift from the trip and left out your DD but that’s not what this is.

Sure it would have been nice if he’d thought about it but I wouldn’t go mad.

Btowngirl · 07/11/2025 16:12

dammit88 · 07/11/2025 15:49

I think you are really annoyed that you didn’t think of it and your SIL did.

Nailed it. How about DS if he came back with something special from America for DD?

Roosch · 07/11/2025 16:11

Roosch · 07/11/2025 16:10

I am a mum of a daughter, and honestly I wouldn’t be upset at the DH.

She doesn’t need everything that other children are getting as presents. Did he bring back anything? Is he generally a good dad?

Work trips can be stressful, you don’t need to treat it as Christmas with presents for everyone each time you go away.

Show quote history

Also I just looked up the doll and it is hideous. I don’t think I would want one even if it were free.

TamarindCottage · 07/11/2025 16:11

Closetangel · 07/11/2025 15:48

It's really not a big deal! He was on a business trip, he picked something his sister specifically told him to get. He thought your DD has enough dolls, Jesus is this something to write on social media about?

Blah blah blah “… Jesus is this something to comment on social media about?” (Sic)

You know you could’ve scrolled on, right?

tripleginandtonic · 07/11/2025 16:11

Closetangel · 07/11/2025 15:48

It's really not a big deal! He was on a business trip, he picked something his sister specifically told him to get. He thought your DD has enough dolls, Jesus is this something to write on social media about?

This.

Roosch · 07/11/2025 16:10

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

I am a mum of a daughter, and honestly I wouldn’t be upset at the DH.

She doesn’t need everything that other children are getting as presents. Did he bring back anything? Is he generally a good dad?

Work trips can be stressful, you don’t need to treat it as Christmas with presents for everyone each time you go away.

Original poster

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 16:09

Whoevenarethey · 07/11/2025 16:06

He didn't bring them back anything at all? Does he frequently go away? Would he usually bring a gift?

Overall it sounds unreasonable, but if he frequently travels and doesn't bring something back each time then I can understand it better, especially as he wasn't buying his nieces something from him and he was simply buying something he was asked to get from his sister.

He did bring back some sweets you can only easily get in the US and a magnet so it’s not that he didn’t get them anything at all. He goes away about twice a year but rarely to New York. I think I’m just upset as DD would have really liked the doll and the dolls are probably more age appropriate at 6 than 2. I don’t really understand how he stood in a shop full of dolls and didn’t even message to see if DD would like one.

OP posts:

AnSolas · 07/11/2025 16:08

Yup he is a ass.

He has puts you in charge of the domestic and child related chores.

If not being asked to buy Christmas/Santa prezzies on request of SIL would have prompted him to ask if this a win-win situation.

HelloGreen · 07/11/2025 16:07

My own daughter has lots of dolls so I don’t think I’d get one for her in that situation either.

Paganpentacle · 07/11/2025 16:06

Sartre · 07/11/2025 15:59

Aw I don’t actually think he meant to be an arse here. He went in the shop with a function in mind, to fulfil SIL’s request (at her expense). He didn’t think of DD because, as he said, she has a lot of dolls already. I don’t think he meant anything by it, he just didn’t think.

He just didnt think.
Ah well.
Thats how blokes get away with being shite... its tolerated and excused.

Whoevenarethey · 07/11/2025 16:06

He didn't bring them back anything at all? Does he frequently go away? Would he usually bring a gift?

Overall it sounds unreasonable, but if he frequently travels and doesn't bring something back each time then I can understand it better, especially as he wasn't buying his nieces something from him and he was simply buying something he was asked to get from his sister.

FrangipaniBlue · 07/11/2025 16:05

The men apologists are out in force I see.

If DH had been in that situation I can almost 100% guarantee he would have messaged me and said “SIL has asked me to go to X store to get Y for DNephews
for Christmas, what’s our plans for DS, should I get him one too?”

Stompythedinosaur · 07/11/2025 16:03

Very thoughtless. He clearly thinks Christmas is your responsibility.

Magnificentkitteh · 07/11/2025 16:01

It sounds like it wasn't a general toy shop though but this specific brand's retail outlet. I've never heard of them and just googled and they look like generic dolls to me. I can imagine myself in such a shop because someone had asked me without it crossing my mind that it was anything special that I should particularly buy for DD, even if she did like dolls in general. Is it something your daughter has specifically mentioned?