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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

415 replies

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
oceanraine · 07/11/2025 17:07

I don't think it's a big deal. Maybe he just didn't want to buy your DD an expensive doll when she has so many.

Did you discuss what you are getting your children for Christmas prior to this?

JSMill · 07/11/2025 17:05

I can’t believe people are making excuses for this man.

Bolliocks · 07/11/2025 17:04

I’m guessing he leaves all the family and present admin to you so it didn’t cross his mind……

TheCosyViewer · 07/11/2025 17:04

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/11/2025 16:55

Thats really sad. Your dd will remember this.

What are on about ? How will his DD remember or even know about this ??

greglet · 07/11/2025 17:03

I clicked the wrong option. YANBU!

Lou7171 · 07/11/2025 17:02

Ella31 · 07/11/2025 16:58

This is so riddiculous. It's a blooming doll that he was asked to get. Christ, just look around at other threads where domestic violence is rife, non payment of CM, abandoment ect...that's something to write about. He's not an arse because he didn't buy dd a doll. The silliness of People writing his dd will remember this....no actually children remember security, feeling safe, and love, amongst other things.

Agree. Some bizarre responses so far!

TheCosyViewer · 07/11/2025 17:02

I think you are over-reacting. Your DH probably didn't realise these dolls are coveted by some. His sister had asked him to pick two dolls up from there, so he probably went in and picked them up in a hurry, not thinking that his own DDs would want one because they have lots of dolls already. Plus, I'm sure he wouldn't have had luggage space for four dolls.

You knew he was going to NY, if you wanted your DD's to have one of these dolls, you could have asked him to pick them up. Have either of your DD's asked for a doll for Christmas ?

Ella31 · 07/11/2025 16:58

This is so riddiculous. It's a blooming doll that he was asked to get. Christ, just look around at other threads where domestic violence is rife, non payment of CM, abandoment ect...that's something to write about. He's not an arse because he didn't buy dd a doll. The silliness of People writing his dd will remember this....no actually children remember security, feeling safe, and love, amongst other things.

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/11/2025 16:55

Thats really sad. Your dd will remember this.

thebrollachan · 07/11/2025 16:54

Well that'll teach him not to tell you about that favour he did for his sister: he'll keep quiet in future!

TamarindCottage · 07/11/2025 16:54

Closetangel · 07/11/2025 16:18

Yeah could've, but didn't want to.

Show quote history

😂

SunnySideDeepDown · 07/11/2025 16:52

He wasn’t getting them a gift, he was doing as his sister told him and she paid. He was just getting your sister something really.

Edenmum2 · 07/11/2025 16:50

Your title is misleading, he didn’t buy gifts for his nieces and not your DD, he did a favour for his sister and bought your DD separate gifts.

only you know if he is a thoughtless arse in general, but I think if the doll was something your DD really really wanted then you probably should have mentioned it to him. You said yourself she has loads of dolls - it doesn’t sound like she’s missing out.

Doobedobe · 07/11/2025 16:47

Idiotic fail at independant thought.
However, he likely doesnt know that there is much difference between the dolls your daughter has already and an american girl doll. They are all just dolls to him.

barskits · 07/11/2025 16:44

Seems to me that the SIL specifically asked him to buy these toys, gave him detailed instructions of where to go and what to get, and sent him the money.

He was doing as she asked.

No good deed goes unpunished.

BunnyLake · 07/11/2025 16:44

So it didn’t enter his pea brain that his own dd might like something from there. Just went in like a pre-programmed android without a thought of his own in his head.

DappledThings · 07/11/2025 16:38

I don't think this is a man thing. He bought a present from his trip for his own DC and seperately bought something specifically someone else had requested on their behalf with their money.

I wouldn't have thought to buy DD the same thing as my niece if it was me and the thing for my niece had been specifically requested.

I think you're being very U to be upset with him.

diddl · 07/11/2025 16:37

Maybe he did think for himself & decided that she had enough dolls?

Especially if she hasn't mentioned this one(?)

Whoevenarethey · 07/11/2025 16:36

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 16:09

He did bring back some sweets you can only easily get in the US and a magnet so it’s not that he didn’t get them anything at all. He goes away about twice a year but rarely to New York. I think I’m just upset as DD would have really liked the doll and the dolls are probably more age appropriate at 6 than 2. I don’t really understand how he stood in a shop full of dolls and didn’t even message to see if DD would like one.

Show quote history

So he did get his own children something.

I do think then this isn't that bad, and if your children already have dolls and nothing had previously been mentioned about getting them this specific type then I don't think he was in the wrong. I assume your kids have their own lists for Christmas?

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/11/2025 16:36

I’ve just looked at the link upthread, £65 for an outfit! For a doll Shock

At 6, would your dd know the difference between an American doll or Design a Friend / Our Generation? I’d just buy her something like this if you want to give something similar.

diddl · 07/11/2025 16:35

Bournetilly · 07/11/2025 16:33

Did he realise they were hard to get in the UK? I didn’t know this and I also have a similar aged child.

His sister asking him to get them, it’s not like he got them a gift without getting his own DC a gift.

Edited

Perhaps the fact that his sister gave him money to get one whilst there was a clue?

user1471538283 · 07/11/2025 16:34

I don't like this. Surely if you are in a cool dolls store you'd think to at least ask your DW if your daughter would like one? Or take a punt and get one anyway?

We had a mad Easter one year and my bf searched high and low to at least get my adult DSD an egg because she would be so happy. It's about thought.

Bournetilly · 07/11/2025 16:33

Did he realise they were hard to get in the UK? I didn’t know this and I also have a similar aged child.

His sister asking him to get them, it’s not like he got them a gift without getting his own DC a gift.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 07/11/2025 16:32

No excuse for this

Proper shitty

Does he often jump at the chance to impress other people whilst you suffer? I had a sd like that

LadyFreja · 07/11/2025 16:30

Switcher · 07/11/2025 16:21

Men are just really fucking thick. I could easily imagine this scenario arising with my DH.

Why did you marry someone you think this lowly of?