DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

That he wasn't thinking about his own child and apparently doesn't know what she might like to the extent he needs his wife to spell it out for him.

Excuse that.

But then you could say.... 'Why didn't he just get one? Why didn't he KNOW to get one?' He probably didn't think they were that great and hadn't heard of them before, adding to that his daughter has loads of dolls, so why get one?

The PP is right, the best part about buying an American Girl doll is the in-store experience and even that's not a patch on how it used to be (I think before they were bought by Mattel), when they had really beautiful, full dioramas of all the dolls through history.

Our Generation dolls are almost identical, much more affordable and often for sale at discount prices in TK Maxx.

I’ve been to an American Doll store and unless you know exactly what you’re going for, it can be very overwhelming. There are a lot of choices and I bet SIL had specific ones in mind otherwise he would have been there for hours.

Excuse what? That he wasn't thinking about his own Christmas shopping on a work trip in November? Why would he be? I wouldn't be.

And like a PP said it could absolutely have gone the other way. If he had bought one he could easily be accused of buying a big Christmas present without consultation and with no consideration as to what the children already have.

Complete non-event.

Well, there is one of his Christmas tasks, he now has to find one for his own child... might make him think a little harder next time... and explain to him it is one of his daughter's main gifts, so he'd better not let her down!

Why are you right that she needs another doll and he’s wrong that she already has loads of dolls? I’m not seeing why you’re automatically in the right here.

Absolutely! This is more about competing with SIL than about a doll that DDs had their hearts set on. They have enough dolls.

DH is a good man. He went out
of his way to do his sister a favour at her specific request.

edited to say this is aimed at @dammit88

Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did.

SIL asked HIM to pick up the dolls for her (she paid, and presumably instructed him which dolls) because she knew he'd be in the area of the shop and she and/or the nieces' dad would not have a chance to go there. But your daughter's dad was right in the store looking at dolls already - why would he need you to pipe up? I say this only because you say your daughter does/would love this kind of doll; if it weren't something that she would genuinely want then I see no issue, just like you're not upset that he didn't get your son a doll. IF she does love them, it's an issue that he doesn't know what she likes and is expecting you to keep track and tell him.

As much as we all want them to be, men are not mind-readers. They are quite simple souls really - his sister asked and he fulfilled this.

I think you have to come to terms with this simple truth. Mine hasn't changed much in this department in 40 years of marriage. I don't expect him to, so don't set unrealistic expectations.

It really is hideous. And I saw one for two hundred quid!

If you were on a business trip would you go Christmas shopping? And it really isn’t clear that the dd wants one of those dolls. Look them up. They are awful. And expensive. You can order them online.

It constant on here and it's nauseating. Things make a lot more sense in the world when you see what woman go out of their way, actually out of their way, to excuse and enable.

I've been abroad for business and bought presents for more distant relatives, but never bought nothing for close family, did he bring nothing for DD or just not the doll?

" he should have been able to think for himself "

Triumph of hope over experience.

He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did.

Aw for fuck sake.

I'm always amazed by how low the bar is set for men and their behaviour. They get away with it because we allow them to. If I were OP I'd be giving him a mammoth kick up the arse.

Exactly.

I bet DD doesn't even know or care about American Girl Dolls anyway 😂

If he had bought his nieces gifts and not your children then that would have been weird and wrong.

However, he didn't do that - he bought small gifts for his children.
And he did some shopping for his SIL.

I think the fact that it was a doll and your DD also likes dolls is a bit irrelevant actually.

Oh, stop being so bloody dramatic 😂

Those dolls look bloody awful to me. And they are very expensive. I hope he is buying his girls something better and more thought through for Christmas, something they actually want rather than just copying his sister and making some unplanned purchase.

But why has he fucked up on this? I don't see the problem and people saying why didn't he think to get his daughter one are being OTT. There is every chance he did look at them while buying the ones for his nieces using the money he was given and thought what a waste of money/glad DD already has lots of dolls so she doesn't need another.
I don't know why people are jumping on him being a useless arse. Unless DD specifically had this on her own list (which is highly unlikely) then I don't think he is in the wrong here.

I voted you were not being unreasonable but I've changed my mind.

Yes, would have been nice if he'd bought one for DD but it sounds like he was just following a request from SIL rather than actively Xmas shopping.

The dolls might have been a lot to carry depending on size.

What if he'd bought the doll for DD and you'd had a go at him for wasting money on expensive toys? He's not a mind reader.

Your DD is only 6 and won't be upset, unless you tell her what's happened.

I can understand why you're a bit annoyed, but I think you should just let it go.

Yeah, I kind of agree with this. Thread title is slightly misleading I think because it suggested (to me at least) that he'd spontaneously thought "ooh, I must buy my nieces a really special gift with my own money" and not thought of his own daughter, which would be crappy, but it sounds like he was given a very specific errand by their mum who is also going to pay him back for the dolls. Plus he did bring them back something of his own accord.

Having said that, I'm someone whose kid would buy a new doll or cuddly toy every three hours, love it the MOST for five minutes and then never play with it again, so I'm quite biased against gifts that can't be eaten or otherwise consumed!

Not only misleading but left out he did bring something for the kids, just not a doll for his daughter when OP herself says she has plenty.