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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

415 replies

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 18:00

Maybe he didn’t have space in his bag to carry back 3 dolls

Richardoo · 07/11/2025 17:59

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 17:51

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong as he was just doing a favour for someone. I don’t have a 6 year old or girls so may be completely wrong but I would have thought a 6 year old would be a bit old for a doll and wanting other things for Christmas m.

It's a sad world when a 6 Yr old is too old for a doll! Both my DDs loved their dolls all through primary. They learned to sew in order to make clothes for them, created room sets etc.
The AG dolls are nice in that they have realistic body shapes, unlike the unobtainable Barbie ankles. There are AG dolls to match lots of disabilities.
Sounding like an infomercial now lol, but I can't see anything objectionable about them other than the price.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 17:58

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/11/2025 16:55

Thats really sad. Your dd will remember this.

Why would she even know ? It’s going to be from her own parents or Santa

Chimneyonya · 07/11/2025 17:56

Everleigh13 · 07/11/2025 17:55

This!

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Exactly. The title reads as if he waltzed through the door at some family gathering and gave dolls to his nieces and nothing to his daughter. It’s ridiculous.

Everleigh13 · 07/11/2025 17:55

RandomUsernameHere · 07/11/2025 17:48

It’s a bit thoughtless, but the thread title is misleading. He didn’t buy them as a gift for his nieces, he was just doing his SiL a favour.

This!

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 17:54

Poodlelove · 07/11/2025 17:46

I think men sometimes need to be told , their brains are not like ours

Or he thought his daughter had enough dolls and didn’t see the point in buying another one especially one that is more expensive than most.

OP also hasn’t disclosed if they talked about Christmas gifts at all.

I don’t know about you, but my DH and I discuss what we are getting the kids for Christmas together. I’d be annoyed if he spent money on an American Doll if that wasn’t decided considering how expensive they are and even more so if our daughter had plenty of dolls in the first place.

SquareEyedSue · 07/11/2025 17:53

Op, be honest would you have expected him to buy this doll if SIL had not made the specific request?

Did your DD say she wanted one of these dolls for Christmas?

why didn’t you ask DH to buy one of these dolls given that he was going to be busy with work and travelling back (I speak as one who finds these things stressful. Some Godawful Trump doll would be the last thing on my mind).

TorroFerney · 07/11/2025 17:53

Onefortheroad25 · 07/11/2025 15:43

It’s a pity he didn’t tell you he was going to the store for his sister and then you could have told him to get one for dd too. I think he just didn’t think.

Is there some reason he has to be told?

VikaOlson · 07/11/2025 17:53

Poodlelove · 07/11/2025 17:46

I think men sometimes need to be told , their brains are not like ours

I wouldn't impulse buy an expensive extra Christmas gift for just one of my children on a trip abroad either and I have a woman brain.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 17:51

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong as he was just doing a favour for someone. I don’t have a 6 year old or girls so may be completely wrong but I would have thought a 6 year old would be a bit old for a doll and wanting other things for Christmas m.

Hons123 · 07/11/2025 17:50

Shit dad

Richardoo · 07/11/2025 17:50

Poodlelove · 07/11/2025 17:46

I think men sometimes need to be told , their brains are not like ours

Jesus. It really is a low bar.

Richardoo · 07/11/2025 17:48

TY78910 · 07/11/2025 17:45

there is nothing like it in the UK
^ do you really think this man knows this? Even I don’t know what an American doll is, let alone the average man in the UK.

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He was in the bloody store 😂, it would be very apparent.

Chimneyonya · 07/11/2025 17:48

LatteLady · 07/11/2025 17:37

Well, there is one of his Christmas tasks, he now has to find one for his own child... might make him think a little harder next time... and explain to him it is one of his daughter's main gifts, so he'd better not let her down!

Wtf why? No mention of this particular American doll until the sister in law specifically wanted them for her kids so why is it now the must have doll. The kid hasn’t even asked for it herself. There are a million dolls or toys she can have for her Christmas.

I was recently on a work trip to Amsterdam and popped into the Lego store. It was fab. My son loves Lego. I didn’t bring back any for him.

So the fuck what 🙄

RandomUsernameHere · 07/11/2025 17:48

It’s a bit thoughtless, but the thread title is misleading. He didn’t buy them as a gift for his nieces, he was just doing his SiL a favour.

Terrribletwos · 07/11/2025 17:47

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 16:09

He did bring back some sweets you can only easily get in the US and a magnet so it’s not that he didn’t get them anything at all. He goes away about twice a year but rarely to New York. I think I’m just upset as DD would have really liked the doll and the dolls are probably more age appropriate at 6 than 2. I don’t really understand how he stood in a shop full of dolls and didn’t even message to see if DD would like one.

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I really think this is a non problem and you are overthinking. So what he didn't get your daughter the same.

Poodlelove · 07/11/2025 17:46

I think men sometimes need to be told , their brains are not like ours

TheLivelyRose · 07/11/2025 17:45

Do you really want to spend over £100 on such god awful dolls?

Do you want the one who's dressed in colonial garb and churns butter?

Or they can do you a clone doll of yourself but they start at £210.

Maybe he took one, look at them and realised they weren't worth it. There are better dolls than that for the money

TY78910 · 07/11/2025 17:45

Richardoo · 07/11/2025 17:17

American Girl will ship to the UK if you phone and ask. Although it might not be affordable given the shit storm that is US shipping at the moment.
Not sure where the hideous comments are coming from, they are wholesome age appropriate dolls, with nice accessories, albeit expensive. We have a few, although mostly bought second hand.

OP your husband was being an unthinking arse. Why do people make excuses for these men, even if he wasn't sure, he could have asked you. The AG store is extensive, there is nothing like it in the UK, no idea how you'd not think to get your doll loving child something. If he'd thought they were too expensive, that would be fair, but he didn't think at all.

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there is nothing like it in the UK
^ do you really think this man knows this? Even I don’t know what an American doll is, let alone the average man in the UK.

DappledThings · 07/11/2025 17:43

usedtobeaylis · 07/11/2025 17:41

That he wasn't thinking about his own child and apparently doesn't know what she might like to the extent he needs his wife to spell it out for him.

Excuse that.

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No. He wasn't thinking about his own child and what she wants for Christmas 2 months ahead of time when he was on a specific mission he agreed to do for someone else. I wouldn't be. And had actually thought about it to the degree that he thought she has too many dolls and wouldn't want another. Which may well be entirely accurate.

I can't imagine having a different thought process myself if I was him.

usedtobeaylis · 07/11/2025 17:43

Sugargliderwombat · 07/11/2025 17:40

But then you could say.... 'Why didn't he just get one? Why didn't he KNOW to get one?' He probably didn't think they were that great and hadn't heard of them before, adding to that his daughter has loads of dolls, so why get one?

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It's an absolute mystery how his wife thought of it isn't it? Since nobody can apparently know their own children.

Driftingawaynow · 07/11/2025 17:43

Meh, maybe he doesn’t want your house filled with yet more crap. Kids have so much stuff these days

CrystalShoe · 07/11/2025 17:42

Those dolls are gorgeous, and he has a 6-year-old who loves dolls. It's poor. Sorry, OP.

Maybe the company would ship a doll to the UK?

Tiswa · 07/11/2025 17:42

They are expensive dolls though $135 a pop and at 6 isn’t she at the age of starting to grow out of dolls at that age?

DinaofCloud9 · 07/11/2025 17:42

What about your DS?

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