DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

Funnily enough I have actually picked up & brought back American Girl dolls for people before. I’ve never picked one out for my own girls in the process because those dolls are too damn expensive for that. They’re a substantial gift to buy when that’s what the child really wants for Christmas or their birthday, not a ‘while I’m here I’ll grab one’ gift, and I wouldn’t choose one for any child without their input.

Perhaps ask yourself this… if you took your nieces out of the equation and your DH had mentioned these dolls (and the prices) as a potential Christmas gift for your DD, would you have said yes that’s definitely what we should spend a large chunk of her gift budget on?

If they see the 4 & 2 year old over Christmas, they are unlikely to be quiet about it.

I think you are taking it out of proportion. He was asked to purchase something specific and paid for by his SIL. It has nothing to do with your daughter. I fail to see what he has done wrong.

I really hope the OP keeps quiet and doesn't say anything to DD. No 'Oh darling, Daddy went to New York and he could have got you an AG doll but he didn't.'

This thread says far more about women than it does men. OP’s husband saw a shop full of dolls that look like any other bloody doll that she has loads of at home already. And he’s expected to somehow know that these dolls are different. They’re “heirlooms”. Honestly, who gives a shit? This is one of those examples of women thinking men are mind readers.

OP your daughter doesn’t need another doll. If you think this doll matters so much, buy one for her online.

It would piss me off too.

But how I would react to it would depend on how general conduct and personality, I guess.

If he's usually a caring and hands on dad, let it slide.

If he leaves all the present buying to you, etc, but is otherwise OK, I would sit him down and have a chat and explain that I didn't think this was my sole duty, it should be a joint effort.

If he is generally a cunt in all ways, I'd be looking to leave.

Only you know what he is like in general, OP. But you certainly aren't being silly to be mildly pissed off, even if he is generally lovely.

I wouldn’t expect my DH to sit and think what our child would like from that location when on a business trip- he is in a different headspace usually within a limited time . Although he’d probably have mentioned if someone requested something from that location.
My husband travels a lot. I often think what I may want from the place he’s going to, order it to his hotel (most hotels accept deliveries and the package is already there when he gets there) and make it as convenient for him as possible, including making sure there’s enough space in the luggage. 3 dolls is a lot to fit in the luggage given that employers often limit how much you can carry as they book the cheapest seats (and luggage allowance) they can.

Will your daughter know?

Why? His daughter hasn't even asked for one of these dolls! How could he be letting her down when she she's never said she wants one, never mind as her main Christmas present?

I'm with you.
If his sister hadn't specifically requested and sent him the money then that would be a different story.

Clearly there’s many posters on here that not only don’t understand the costs of these dolls, but also the huge range thats available. Even custom dolls are available.

These dolls aren’t bought on a whim. Girls plan for ages for them and treasure the dolls they get. Many keep them to pass on to their own kids.

As if the DH should have just picked something up. If the OP wanted such a doll, she would known NY has the flagship store and would have mentioned.

The DH isn’t going to drop £££s on a doll that’s never been mentioned before.
You can also buy online in the UK. So the drama really isn’t needed.

They’re expensive to buy for a kid who has not shown any interest in wanting one.

OP, if you think your DD would like an AG doll, don't be put off by the comments here. They are heirloom quality and nothing like Our Generation. They're really sturdy and last for decades. Highest quality wigs, for example, unlike the low-quality rooted hair of the Our Generation dolls. I'm not knocking OG, I think it's a fantastic brand of reasonably-priced dolls. But the quality can't hold a candle to AG, nor would you expect it to, for the price point.

The DH probably didn’t want to waste his money on more expensive plastic crap when his DD already has plenty of dolls. I wouldn’t have bought one either unless DD specifically wanted one.

I was in NY with my friends last year and we went to the American Girl Doll store (whatever it's called) and honestly its wildly overpriced! I didn't bring anything back for my two girls as it's just spending money for the sake of it!!

The Our Generation dolls that you can buy in Smyths are basically incredibly similar and much less expensive- it literally did not cross my mind to spend a small fortune on one of those dolls just because you can't get them in the UK when you can get the Our Generation dolls for a fraction of the price!

I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls.

Reads like he thought to me she had too many dolls and didn’t see the point in buying more. OP even agreed that their DD does, but thinks he should have bought another anyway.

😂 as in a doll is a doll
he probably looked at the price and thought ‘nah I can get this in Smyths for a tenner’

FFS - that is the whole point isn't it? Why should OP be the only parent who can think about what their child might like? I fucking hate men who put no mental effort forward for their families.

Doesn’t read like it. Her focus is fully on the DD not getting yet another doll.

The way she words it says it all.

Why did it need to be said the SIL’s daughters’ ages and that OP thinks the doll is too old for them and better suited for her own DD?

It isn’t any of her business what her SIL gets or spends on her own children for Christmas.

Completely unreasonable!

American girl dolls are not only very expensive £££s - there are many different types of dolls.

• girls of the year
• create your own etc
• Historical dolls

Theres tonnes of outfits and they can even get their ears pierced. As if he could just go ahead and buy a doll and not get it totally wrong.

You knew he was going to NY, why didn’t you say she would like an AGD? If you are into AGD, then you know the NY store is iconic. I’m guessing that’s why the SIL knew to ask.

AGD are also very school specific.- some schools the girls are mad for them, others have even heard of them. Probably because they are harder to get.

However, you can buy them here. There’s no issue sourcing one.
If you really wanted a doll for her Xmas and from the US- then I’m sure you would have discussed this with your DH. You didn’t, so how is this his fault?

I think I feel some sympathy as I’m not as thoughtful as my DW (both female) I could deffo do something like this without thinking to get my DD one. I’m also a bit tight so that wouldn’t help either

Are you upset that your son didn't get a special present?

The stock photos on the website are grim. In reality, they look nothing like that and are beautiful. Originally they were just historical dolls, and each doll came with a book that was a story about the girl (represented by the doll) and her era. Each doll had a whole series of books about the era. It was a great way to introduce girls to history. The original historical line and books still exist, but they're a much smaller part of the whole thing. The most famous one is probably the ex-slave doll, Addy. It's a pity that the DH didn't get her one of the historical dolls, as they are very educational.

It sounds like he just didn’t think, rather than him being a bit of a dick.

In his head, he was going there solely to get stuff for his nieces and obviously just didn’t think.

I would let it go.

Well he did think for himself. He thought that it wasn’t something that his daughter needed/ she would prefer having 100 plus pounds of her Christmas budget spent on something else