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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

415 replies

Emsieo · 07/11/2025 15:37

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DressOrSkirt · 07/11/2025 18:59

Megifer · 07/11/2025 18:53

Do you only ever buy your DC things they have specifically told you they want?

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I wouldn't buy anyone a triple digit gift they hadn't specifically told me they wanted. Nevermind 2 of them.

Feelinguselesssigh · 07/11/2025 18:58

@Bagsintheboot
what? The useless DH goes to a shop and doesn’t think to buy his own children a gift ?

Fuck me your standards are low

Layer · 07/11/2025 18:57

I could see dh doing this and me being annoyed with myself for not asking him to get a doll too - you didn't think - neither did he.

Bagsintheboot · 07/11/2025 18:56

Feelinguselesssigh · 07/11/2025 18:55

Cba to read the thread but your husband is an arse

he’ll try to make it your fault but he is an arse

There's no fault or blame to apportion! This is a complete non-incident.

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 18:55

TheignT · 07/11/2025 18:47

She doesn't seem bothered that the son didn't get a special present. I find that more of an issue than dad not buying a special present for one of his children.

Poor little boy.

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Agree.

I also wouldn’t call anyone tight for not paying almost £200 on a bloody doll!!!

The outfits for the dolls are more than I spend on groceries a week.

DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces
DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces
Feelinguselesssigh · 07/11/2025 18:55

Cba to read the thread but your husband is an arse

he’ll try to make it your fault but he is an arse

Megifer · 07/11/2025 18:53

VikaOlson · 07/11/2025 18:43

Does she even want one?

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Do you only ever buy your DC things they have specifically told you they want?

Bagsintheboot · 07/11/2025 18:53

He wasn't shopping for his nieces randomly, he was doing a specific favour for SIL.

If your DD already has lots of dolls I quite understand why he wouldn't think to spend an inordinate amount of money on yet another.

would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.

Sorry but so bloody what? She'll join the millions of girls around the world who'll never have one and be just fine, I promise. World ending it ain't. There are lots of lovely dolls out there and I'm sure she'll have a nice Christmas with lots of presents regardless.

FaceDownInAPuddle · 07/11/2025 18:48

Am I the only one that thinks this isn't a big deal? If your kid is so infatuated with the idea of an American doll, then you would have sent him with strict instructions to get one. She has a lot of dolls, and now you're pouting because she doesn't have another one to add to the pile. Sounds like a you issue. Let your nieces enjoy their dolls, their pile might not be so high.

TheignT · 07/11/2025 18:47

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 18:45

She could have said that in the original post and chose not to.

Wonder if the voting would be different if she had since I see a lot of posters thinking that he brought nothing back for their children.

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She doesn't seem bothered that the son didn't get a special present. I find that more of an issue than dad not buying a special present for one of his children.

Poor little boy.

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 18:45

GravyBoatWars · 07/11/2025 18:43

OP has clarified that her DH actually did similar.

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She could have said that in the original post and chose not to.

Wonder if the voting would be different if she had since I see a lot of posters thinking that he brought nothing back for their children.

SquareEyedSue · 07/11/2025 18:44

llamadrama16 · 07/11/2025 18:41

My husband also arrived back from a NY business trip this morning and bought our kids stuff. Just some NY merch, but he was excited to give it to them. Your DH is a bit thoughtless.

He is not husband of the year just for bringing home a load of junk and OP’s dh is not a bad dad for not investing £200 in a doll.

GravyBoatWars · 07/11/2025 18:43

llamadrama16 · 07/11/2025 18:41

My husband also arrived back from a NY business trip this morning and bought our kids stuff. Just some NY merch, but he was excited to give it to them. Your DH is a bit thoughtless.

OP has clarified that her DH actually did similar.

VikaOlson · 07/11/2025 18:43

Megifer · 07/11/2025 18:37

You can get them online here.

Get her 2.

Hes a thoughtless arsehole. Yanbu.

Does she even want one?

phoenixrosehere · 07/11/2025 18:43

There is more chance to children of that age seeing it as just a doll than them caring that it is an American Girl Doll. The only ones that care are SIL and OP.

painauchoc512 · 07/11/2025 18:42

I can see how he might have been in task mode, but I’d be really disappointed if my husband did this. I don’t think he would as he loves buying gifts for our DD, but he does occasionally baffle me with the odd bit of really thoughtless behaviour.

llamadrama16 · 07/11/2025 18:41

My husband also arrived back from a NY business trip this morning and bought our kids stuff. Just some NY merch, but he was excited to give it to them. Your DH is a bit thoughtless.

SquareEyedSue · 07/11/2025 18:41

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 18:37

Well they won’t know where they came from. They are 2 and 4. Children that age don’t think about their presents being bought, they appear under the tree

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They will probably have already bashed those dolls about, cut their hair and drawn over their faces with Sharpies.

Viviennemary · 07/11/2025 18:41

But he didnt buy the dolls as presents he got them for his sister who paid him the money. If you wanted a doll you should have asked for one. How was he supposed to read your mind.

DressOrSkirt · 07/11/2025 18:39

He didn't think to get her one as he thinks she has enough dolls, and probably doesn't put value on their "exclusivity" alone.

That doesn't make him useless, just of differing opinion to you.

MouseCheese87 · 07/11/2025 18:38

I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like he bought them as a gift, he was given the money for them. Maybe it would have been nice for him to buy his daughter a gift but if she's got loads of dolls already and didn't specifically ask for one, then it's a non issue.

Megifer · 07/11/2025 18:37

You can get them online here.

Get her 2.

Hes a thoughtless arsehole. Yanbu.

GravyBoatWars · 07/11/2025 18:37

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/11/2025 18:35

If they see the 4 & 2 year old over Christmas, they are unlikely to be quiet about it.

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But the 4 & 2 year-old are extremely unlikely to know that their uncle had anything to do with it. Most likely Santa will bring the dolls and that’s all they’ll know.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/11/2025 18:37

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/11/2025 18:35

If they see the 4 & 2 year old over Christmas, they are unlikely to be quiet about it.

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Well they won’t know where they came from. They are 2 and 4. Children that age don’t think about their presents being bought, they appear under the tree

Toseland · 07/11/2025 18:36

Take your daughter to see the Christmas lights and choose one!