Is it wrong for only to get my own child Christmas presents

Would you suggest doing a secret santa amongst the kids? Saves buying for everyone but they still have something to open.

This 💯

No point in over spending on presents that'll end up forgotten about few weeks later.... a day trip somewhere fun & shared together would be a great idea... the pressure to spend money during Xmas can be so overwhelming & it takes the joy out of it...Even agree to a budget & do a family kiddies secret santa?

Your mum needs to learn to shut her mouth about how you manage your finances for your family.

Emergency money ? It's Christmas. Get them selection boxes and a toy.

There is nothing wrong with not buying, full stop.

My thoughts were exactly the same. We would often get an annual and a selection box from aunts & uncles and loved it. Probably costing the equivalent of £10 today…the annuals were never duplicated, so the adults must have had conversations in advance of Christmas. Most children are easily satisfied and won’t think about the cost.
OP, please stand your ground with your mother…it has damn all to do with her and I and many others agree with your sensible stance.

As long as you tell people not to buy for your daughter too. They might have already started shopping so tell them ASAP.

You don’t have to keep up with them, as long as you tell them you can’t afford to reciprocate and will either be doing token gifts or no gifts then you’ve done your part. If they want to spend on your child knowing this then that is their decision to make, some people like to give gifts to make people happy and not with the expectation of receiving back.

I think you need to clearly communicate what you need to do. My hubby's family is 8 adults and 5 kids and we do a Secret Santa with a £10 limit round the adults (so each adult buys 1 present of about £10 for a named person). For the kids we each contribute either £10 so that each kid gets a £16 present.

You have made your position clear and that should be respected. You are living within your means which should be applauded, especially setting such a good example to your child.
The only thing I can think of is whether there is a craft/skill you are particularly good at that takes time rather than finance to share. Or invite the child over for a play/sleepover and play games with them/have a movie and popcorn night. You sort of get the idea. I loved time with my aunts when I was young and now adore my nieces (often give 'time' presents to them, which they love) and my children adore their aunts and uncles....

Firstly it's wrong that so much pressure is put on people. For what should be a happy time.i would just get selection boxes or something small.Do tell them we'll in advance though.

My DB has 5 kids and doesn’t expect anything really as I’m a single parent. Doesn’t matter so much now but when all DC were younger he’d spend about £30 each on my 2 DC and told me that he didn’t want me spending more than £10 on each of his (so equal family value) but that it didn’t really matter of if I didn’t get them anything as they’d get enough. He didn’t want me stressing about money! So speak to SIL and just split the £40 between her dc (of you can afford to). Head over to the Christmas bargain thread and get some BF deals. Or suggest a secret santa with gifts of £10 or £5.

I opted out of all gift buying apart from my DC, parents and DH about 25 years ago and have never looked back. I found the time to tell people is July or August when they really aren’t thinking about Christmas.

In this situation I send a message to the family WhatsApp chat (or similar) saying that I’m only getting gifts for kids this year or we are just doing a small present like a selection box.

Can be a bit embarrassing saying it first but saves loads of hassle further down the line.

She hasn’t received it yet. My comment was in reference to leaving it so close to Christmas that people have already started shopping. However, I misread it originally and thought the person had paid for it already, turns out they were just sending ideas over.

That being said, if I was spending Christmas with my family. The minute I made the arrangements I would say mention that I’d prefer it if we didn’t exchange gifts this year.

For the last couple of years and this year as well I had to tell my sisters that I just couldn't afford to get their kids anything for Xmas. Thankfully they understand my financial situation and they still buy my ds something even though I told them it wasn't expected as I couldn't reciprocate. If your family can't understand that you just can't afford it then that's on them. Don't let them make you feel bad

Not really! I enjoy buying presents but that really doesn't have to be how Xmas is for everyone! Not least if you don't have the money.

What have you done in previous years? Do you normally buy for nephews and nieces? If so, it is late to only just say that you aren’t this year?

My DC are teenagers and have never had brand new bikes. Always bought off FB marketplace, off friends or handed down to each other. Bought accessories as extra little gives, like a helmet, basket and bell. Once cleaned and polished bikes can look like new.

For DNs you could get a book bundle from the works, some fluffy socks, bath bomb and chocolate. For the babies get a first Christmas book or tree ornament. I have 10 nieces and nephews, I stop buying after age 21. When we had less money I’d buy bits through the year for them and my own kids in the sales, so nice things but a lot cheaper.

far too much

i spend about £20 on my nephews but I think £5 is fine or a joint gift for families

also your family should be helping at Christmas not just you

your dm sounds awful and controlling

That doesn't make her unreasonable. It's very early to have received a Christmas present. I would not have been expecting something yet.

You shouldn’t spend money on presents that you can’t afford, I would get nominal presents ie a selection box.
Like someone else has said I would look on fb market place for a bike, we picked up one that had hardly been used, not a scratch on it for less than 1/3 of what it was still costing in the shops.
Gave it a wash, stuck a giant bow on it and it looked brand new.
I have a limit of £20 max for nieces and nephews, I have 6 in total. I buy throughout the year though so by the time Christmas and birthdays come around I have a stash of presents.

Can you just be really open and honest with your family and let them know that due to cost of living increases you can only afford to buy a main gift for your own DD this year? Explain that you’re really sorry but there is just no spare money at all and you’ve only been suggesting cheap options as you can’t afford to reciprocate any gifts, unless cheap token gifts. I know if I was in this situation my family would want to help and be supportive x

no you cant afford 40 qud a child thats ridiculous

i dont spend that on my niece

Emergencies? Real things like broken boilers or cars. Not Christmas presents for other people’s children.

You do not have to keep up with anyone. But I think it would be perfectly reasonable to say that your budget for children’s gifts is no more than, say, £10. If others want to spend more, that is very lovely and generous, but you don’t expect them to.