Is it wrong for only to get my own child Christmas presents

My MIL made my kids a card for a special overnight stay just for them which was gifted with a bar of chocolate. Each grand child got an individual card for an overnight stay with a movie, visit to the park tailored to them in the new year. The kids loved it and asked for it for a few years and still talk about it now as a really special gift as they had something to look forward to that was just for them with family.

Or a Secret Santa just for the children with a 10/15 pound limit on the gift. That way it's the kids buying for each other (The adults could do a separate one if they wish with the same limit). With a sale, something nice could be bought for just one child. Better for everyone.

Well instead of chipping to the food then just buy your niece a gift. That’s if she’s the only child you buy for and are not expected to chip towards food

People are bu to expect you to purchase gifts you can't afford.
Tell your DM to watch Martin Lewis show and don't get into debt just to buy presents for Xmas, don't feel bad your DM is totally unreasonable.

You have to get five gifts. They have to get one. Suddenly £40 is fine if they're happy for you to spend £10 on each...

Put £10 aside to spend in total and get them something fun from the £1 shop or similar. It's about giving not about how much you spend.

Can you be honest with your siblings about this? I think you need to be having these conversations now and explain how difficult things are for you. If you were my sister I would never want you to feel awkward about this. If you could manage to get a small token for your nieces and nephews it would be nice. Kids don’t know how much things cost. I’d trawl places like Poundland and charity shops. And temu stuff can be alright if it’s not electrical.

You shouldn’t feel obliged to give presents and I think it’s fine to suggest that with the expectation they won’t buy presents for your child either. Children get far too much these days, most of it plastic tat that goes in the bin or charity shop. And it’s so hard to come up with ideas because they get so much already. I don’t have many to buy for and end up buying pyjamas and Lego for my nephews. Having read this thread I think presents for birthdays only makes perfect sense.

im sure you can sort some type of gift for the sake of the agro and bad feeling of giving nothing. Loads of cheap ideas on the internet. What about making one of those hot chocolate kit in a jar thing ? Would cost all of a few pounds but look quite fab

Hey op do you have 70 pounds to spend on them? If you get them something for 10 each this is doable if you haven’t put on the WhatsApp or text them individually just say I really don’t have the money to do kids gifts this year. I want to get my dd a bike and it will leave me in debt if I get 7 kids a gift. I also obviously don’t expect anything for my dd. I hope you understand. If you do presents at mums you would need them to do it before you arrive as your dd will be devastated watching all the kids getting gifts and she doesn’t.

If you're hard pushed for cash concentrate on your own child. What about a book or jammies or a selection box for nieces and nephews if you're got money spare ( I'm assuming it's budget that's pushing this conversation?)

I would try and get them something small but you do not have to match their £40 gift! My brother rarely remembers my kids birthday and when he does he spends about a tenner it doesn’t change what I get for my nephew - even if he said “let’s not do gifts” I would still get my nephew something small! My BIL in contrast always spends about £50 on my daughter for her birthday and christmas, I tend to spend £25-30 on his kids as he has two and one has a birthday shortly before Xmas so it would be a lot to match his spend.

If it was me I would buy them all a book, selection box or something similar and wait until Black Friday when you can get good deals. Also places like The Works do 2 for £12 or 3 for £15 things so you could spend a fiver each per kid and get something nice. We have a relative who usually gets presents from The Works and our kid is just as ecstatic as the stuff from BIL, little kids in particular don’t really think about what things cost!

Giving is the pleasure. For my many years I had more money than some of my relatives, I gave presents, but never expected anything in return, anything I wanted i could have just gone out and bought for myself.

Another vote for just letting them know you can’t afford to buy for everyone. Or can you give an experience instead - maybe a day out next summer to a theme park to give you time to save. I hate saying that but it’s an option if you really want to give them a present. You can give them a voucher for Christmas telling them what you’re getting them x x

Why does the OP have to buy for the other seven children????

She most certainly does not

Just send a group text

Hello everyone
Im really skint this year so wont be buying presents for anyone.
So please dont buy for us
Thank you

Why is that so hard?

You absolutely do not have to spend £40 on a gift for nieces and nephews. It's ok not to buy anyone other than your own children gifts, but it's better if you can buy a small gift, like a book or something. And ask for your children to get something to that value instead of something expensive. Christmas gifts are often a waste anyway - children latch on to one or two of them and forget about the rest.

You need to get something, like a selection box for each child. You also need to be brutally honest about why, which I know is not very British but is the only way to avoid offence.

If you cant afford it you cant afford it.

Maybe just a token present like a selection box for the other children.

Honestly it doesnt have to be all about presents.

Buy you kids what they want avoid the tat and family that zap the joy out of life.

Just say upfront im not getting gifts for whoever and Idont expect you to buy for my child.

I would hate anyone to go into debt for me OP. Whilst I cannot bear stingy people, this is nothing like that. You are clearly a warm and loving family member who helps a lot on Christmas day and it is absolutely not your fault that you cannot afford gifts.

It is fine to give nothing. If that makes you feel awkward, and only if, maybe you could make some cupcakes with some cheap Christmas cake toppers or just sparkly sprinkles. I would definitely prefer that over some random toiletries gift set or posh chocolates I don’t like!

Yeah and never mind having the money to get the boiler fixed should it breakdown...other people's DC's getting gifts from you are far more important than making sure your own DC are warm.

There isn't no, I don't understand why you picked my post to quote ?

You’re making out you’re some kind of Cinderella OP.

You are a parent. Set your child a half decent example and don’t martyr yourself so pathetically.

Yes emergency money if you have children and have money to spend 40,00 on other peoples at Xmas but don’t have emergency money then your priorities are wrong !