lost friend of 17 years over loan

YANBU about the money, but children that age shouldn’t be on any SM where they can be blocked like this

Maybe that's why the friend got more offended, that's all. But yeah, not a proper friend and at least the OP got their money back

You dont need friends like that, she probably borrowed loads of money off her family hence not wanting them to know and then lent more off you and did the whole sympathy trick.

Gosh, this sounds horrible. You’ve been a lovely friend, so don’t beat yourself up because she’s not lovely friend material. She didn’t pay you back and knew she was in the wrong so the only thing left is for her to try to make you look bad, which you don’t deserve. I hope you can move on soon.

It’s not at all… to you

to me (and others on this thread) it bloody well is depressing!

This is why i never lend money. People don't want to pay it back. In fact i never lend anything that i want back. I only lend something if i am happy never to see it again.

Of course you did nothing wrong. You needed the money and even if you didn’t you had every right to get it back. I know feelings are involved for you so it’s easy for outsiders like me to say something and it feels different for you. It is highly unlikely that the stress of this caused bleeding in her pregnancy and to be perfectly honest if she can’t commit to paying you £100 pounds a month for a debt she owes she’s not really in a fit position to bring a mouth that needs feeding into the world is she? Sorry to be blunt but it’s the hard truth.

This happened to me twice (yes I'm an idiot). First time a close friend from Uni, 2nd time a friend I'd met through other friends. Both times it ended the friendship but that's fine. I would have done anything for both of these women but it became obvious that they didn't count me as a friend and were just using me. Best to chalk it up to experience and never lend money that you can't afford to lose again.
Live well

Am so sorry, this and being in an abusive relationship, you must be wondering what on earth.
You did nothing wrong, you were a good friend. Sadly she wasn't. Take good care of you and please, don't worry about her. Time will heal.

She's not a friend OP. Friends don't treat you like that. She's bang out of order and you're much better off without her in your life. Your mum stood up for you as your ex-friend was taking the piss. She's a cf and thank God you got your £10k.

It's not at all. At 8 my daughter had her cousins and a couple of school friends she would video call with and play Roblox with. She's not allowed any chat or messaging function but she is still friends with some people she knows. It's not depressing at all. In fact its due to video calling that she is so close to one of her cousins that she only sees in person a couple of times a year. They speak to each multiple times a week though. Another couple of friends are ones she's not at the same school with so it helps keep her friendships spread out and not concentrated in one group. Very, very far from depressing. Unless a parent intervenes and makes one unfriend another because they owed their mum money, of course.

Pleased you got the money back. Remember in future never to lend anyone money you’d be unhappy never to see again. This sort of thing is far too common.

I’m putting bets on the fact that this ex friends mum doesn’t know the full extent of why she needed to borrow the money and has probably made OP out the bad guy

I also understand why OP is upset.

I know, good riddance and all, but I don’t think it’s easy to understand why a friend would do this to you and after being so kind just block you after 17 years and not paying you back.

I think it’s going to be tough, but this is unforgivable in my opinion. Friendship break ups are awful, especially when they have been your friend for a long time. You are really better off without her.

A week later, her mum repaid the loan (surprisingly) and told me i has caused her too much stress and she was bleeding as a result and asked me not to contact her again.

"If she'd paid it back 18 months ago, as she promised she would when I lent her it, she wouldn't need to be stressed now. Or even a year ago. Or six months ago. Instead, I'VE had 18 months of stress and struggled financially because SHE borrowed money, and refused to pay it back. I'm not the bad one here, and I won't be contacting her again, because who needs 'friends' like that?"

Was i wrong to ask her for a plan about repayment?

Oh dear. I'm afraid you were wrong to lend her the money in the first place, and the rest is irrelevant. Ten grand is a HUGE amount to lend, and you never lend anyone more than you can afford to kiss goodbye to.

Well thank god she is out of your life, what a parasite!

The trash has taken itself out op

She tried to rip you off. She's a cunt from Hell.

So if you’re all very open about money… did your family know you were lending her £10k?

Your mum did the right thing. This woman owed you 10 grand not £30.

Who cares, you got the money back

she’s a fucker

Why did someone not financially literate have £10k at their disposal in the first place?

You're not being unreasonable and she is a dickhead for not paying you back and making you chase her for it, then trying to get out of paying it back, then trying to emotionally manipulate you, then trying to coerce you into secrecy, then trying to guilt you, and then involving your children both. She is absolutely no loss.