lost friend of 17 years over loan

Write to her mother to acknowledge the payment and say you feel it was more than reasonable to ask about the plan for repaying money she promised to pay back 18 months ago, especially given the amounts her daughter has spent on holidays over that period.

We have a saying in my home country -
"If you want to lose a friend, lend them the money."
That's how it is. You are definitely not a cause of her problems. The bleeding was not your fault either. She chose not to pay you back, she chose toput herself in all this stress. I can imagine it hurts you to lost a friend, but at least you know now, she wasn't a friend at all.

The only person that caused problems was your ex friend
A - by asking for money in the first place.
B - by not paying the money back months ago.

She knew she wasn't going to pay it back.
Her mother also sounds a class piece of work.

I think your comment in your first post about this friendship being like an abusive relationship is spot on. It’s much harder to notice in a friendship than a relationship because we tend to be more willing to overlook things in friendships that we wouldn’t in a relationship because our lives are not so intertwined and it doesn’t seem to matter so much. Your “friend” is a nasty user. You’ve got your money back and got her out of your life. Win win!

Why is a 7 year old on social media?!

She had no intention of ever paying you back seeing you as a soft touch and being evasive when asked about repayment
Her mother probably only paid you back thinking that you might have gone to get advice, got word to the husband or speak to others which would've made them look 'bad'
As for the bleeding don't believe it
As for the friendship it seems she never deserved you. Toxic
And chances are her daughter dominated yours whenever possible

Agree don't borrow money again!

Hi op you didn’t do anything wrong unfortunately she wasn’t a good friend as you thought anybody who goes on holiday knowing there friend needs the money back isn’t worth your pain. Her mum chose to pay it back be grateful you got it let your friend get on with her life. She should have asked her family if she needed the money her and her dh and family should have been the ones she asked first she gave you no respect and didn’t really care you were in great need of your own money. She planned on leaving you hanging for her own selfish reasons.

You’re well rid.
What an awful woman 🫩
Thats not what a real friend would do and her mother is just as bad. They should be ashamed of themselves. They are entitled arseholes.

I hope you are ok and can put this behind you 💐

No she was totally in the wrong.

If she had bleeding, that wasn’t on you. She should have repaid a long time ago.

We don’t know if it’s true or she told her DM that to get her to pay the money.

Im glad you got it back.

It hurts now but she’s a crap friend and in the long run best out of you and your DDs life.

So. Times life shows you who are real friends in very upsetting ways.

I'm sorry you went through this, but this is her issue not yours. Leave it with her the CF.

Oh no! The fastest way to lose a freind is to loan them money! However,i guess you know that now. She wasnt a real freind or she would never have put you in that position. Its a shame about the two children losing their freindship with each other but I do think a clean break is best. Good luck to you going forward!

I was always told: never borrow, never lend, if you want to keep a friend. It's true, but if you think you can trust someone and they ask it's easy to get a situation like you had. Glad you got your money back and if her mother has repaid you why didn't she ask her mother to start with? Answer - because she never intended paying it back!

YANBU

You've lost out on around £800 in interest that money could have earned you whilst she had it. The interest rates were really good then for savings.

Glad you've got it back. Let this be a lesson to you - never lend out money you cannot afford to lose.

Definitely her loss, ignore the comments about her bleeding, you don’t need hanger oners.

How evil to rewrite the narrative as though you've somehow abused her and she's the victim. The facts stand. She borrowed and promised to pay it back, then didn't.

Sorry love but with friends like that you don’t need any enemies; life’s one golden rule should always be never loan money to family & friends it always causes trouble when they don’t pay it back.
cut your loses & move on you don’t need people like that in your life as for causing her to bleed in her pregnancy that’s just a guilt trip technique on her bitter old twisted mother part take no notice it’s total bollox

Lesson here is dont lend friends money. Youve got money back. Honestly you are better off without such a person in your life.

You have done NOTHING wrong.

Your ‘friend’ has abused your kindness and her mother is probably embarrassed by her daughter’s behaviour and has paid you back to reduce the shame of it.

chalk it down to experience.

She was in the wrong and then blamed you. You are well rid of her.

Can you go and see a solicitor? The amount is too much to just let it go

This exactly!

Well done to her mum for paying you back. TBH It was probably only because there's so many people involved and she probably thought she was saving face for the family whilst making a point about 'bleeding' her or whatever.

This was probably the best outcome you could have really. I'm sorry.

Just be glad you got your money back. She was no friend to you.

The old saying “no good turn goes unpunished “. She is blocking you because she knows she’s in the wrong. It’s a shame about the girls but probably for the best in the long run. This was not your fault. .