lost friend of 17 years over loan

The mum paid you back in full
Odd she didn’t lend it to her daughter 2 years ago

It's clear the friendship is over. I would ask the mum how it is that you have caused the stress when she had promised it would be paid back within 6 months and it's now over a year later and the only way to get it paid was to get your mum involved. But yes your daughter should absolutely not be on any social media at that age.

Do you know exactly what that ex friend used the 10k for? Because all the insistence on 'don't tell anyone, don't tell my family' would indicate to me that she used it for something that they had no knowledge of and now her mother has had to be told she's been forced to admit to something.

This might be why she's blocked you everywhere, because now she's got all her family on her back. And the 'bleeding'? Well, seriously, if this level of stress was enough to cause problems in a pregnancy then very few babies would be born - so I'd take that with a huge pinch of salt.

I think your ex friend kept a lot of secrets from a lot of people and it's returned to bite her.

No, you were right asking for it.

She sounds like a manipulative person who never intended to pay you back.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but its always a bad idea to lend money to friends.

Lesson learned and she isn’t a friend.

Lesson learnt the hard way.

Now get your child off social media before she ends up with a hard lesson to learn.

Jeez, with "friends" like this you don't need enemies!

At least you (finally) have your money back, and do not need to be in contact this CF ever again.

This. You were lucky to see any of that money. She lost a friend, but she was never your friend.

@Addtosignup & @Ooogle my guess would be Roblox, there are also child only apps kids can join to chat to each other.

Absolutely friend is a cf, she didn’t want your mum or her family knowing as she had no intention of paying it back.

never ever lend friends money unless your willing to write it off.

You are well out of it! Your daughter shouldn’t be online like this at this age!

Don’t lend money, they think because you can you don’t need it.
DH lent his brother money and he was a twat about it. They had an agreed payment plan, DH let him off the last payment and he was so rude about it. That if he didn’t need it why had he asked for any of it back.

Definitely trying to guilt trip you with adding the unnecessary bleeding, which I wouldn't believe for a second. Think about that for a moment, in saying that they are suggesting you are to blame for a potential loss (highly doubt it's true and only saying it to make you feel guilty). That is a major thing to accuse someone of, not to mention the emotional burden that cornes with it for you. Its cruel and it's crystal clear that your friend was in the wrong with not paying you back.
Who needs friends like this?! Seriously, don't give what the said a minutes thought, and be thankful you don't have a friend with no morals whatsoever. Ignore and no contact is definitely the way to go. She knows she is in the wrong but is reversing it to make you feel bad, typical manipulative guilty behaviour.

Never lend more than you are prepared to give away.

No good deed goes unpunished.

What social media is a 7 and 8 year old on!!??

Was i wrong to ask her for a plan about repayment?

You were wrong to lend it to her in the first place without knowing what it was for and having a repayment plan in place.

At least her mother has some shame. I expect she didn't want you talking to her family as they weren't aware of her money issues, and now it's all come out in the wash.

I think the only thing you did "wrong" was to lend the money in the first place.

It doesn’t sound like you were really in any position to lend anyone money op

and how your friend has behaved is appalling

and this kind of behaviour came completely out the blue and in 17 years of very close friendship- never a hint of this in her personality or behaviour?

Never lend money to friends, I think you were lucky to get your money back.

how are 7 year olds unfriending each other online? I realise this isn’t the key point of the OP but I was a bit alarmed by it

This woman wasn’t a friend! Go on the women’s aid group sessions and learn about abuse in all forms and you will realise that your friend was just another user and abuser

You are not unreasonable at all. The friendship was lost to you once she decided to screw you over and not repay you and that isn't your doing. Ignore all the guilt tripping bollocks. Did she or her mum have any sympathy for the difficult position you found yourself in when you needed the money back.

I'm really pleased for you that you got your money back. That's not usually how these threads go.

Be kind to yourself and try and put her behind you.

Would you have preferred to keep her as a (CF) friend or get your £10k back?

10K is not an insignificant amount of money for most people.

Friend is a CF who should have made plans to pay it back, excuses on top of excuses would wear my patience thin.

You have not been unreasonable in the least.

The worst kinds of people are those that do wrong and then play the victim, encouraging others to view the person that helped them out as being the bad guy.

Your 7 or 8 year old shouldn’t have any social media where she can be unfriended. She is far too young and all sm platforms that I know of have a minimum age of 13. Focus on parenting your child and getting your DD off sm next and bugger this non-friend.