lost friend of 17 years over loan

If you are going to miscarry you will, there is nothing you can do about it, no rhyme nor reason. Please do not accept the blame for her bleeding (trust me have been through a few, one I nearly died, I am an expert! Sadly) I am also very concerned as to her 'friend's daughter' unfollowing her daughter on socials and they are only 7 and 8. Never lend money that you are not prepared to loose.

OMG OP - this is awful and her and her entire family sound awful!!

It sounds like you’ve behaved impeccably in this and your ex-friend has obviously spun a complete yarn to her family about the circumstances.

Your poor DD as well - it’s important that you make it clear to her that most people are not like this…

First post nails it again!

I think you just lost a lot of weight! This was not a friend. A friend would have been honest and paid you back. Her mother clearly has been accommodating this behavior. She blamed you so easily. Good riddance!

I'd be very careful with Roblox.

You quote you’ve lost a ‘friend’ all she’s done is show you what kind of ‘friend’ she is!!!
Good riddance friends like that you don’t need!
Her mother spouting her rubbish is just that!
Be thankful you got your money back because your friend would have eventually do what she’s done anyway. Friends like that you don’t need and if you’re ever in that position again get a contract drawn up and signed and witnessed. You very nearly got your fingers burnt!

Glad you got your money back OP. I would not be surprised if your Mum told your friends Mum and that prompted the friends Mum to repay you. Don't lend money to friends again. Get your DD off SM.

You are well rid of her. Also I'd tell everyone why you're no longer friends. She obviously wants it kept quiet so she can make out its you. Tell everyone so they know it's her and her mother that are in the wrong. She'll be bad mouthing you.

You did absolutely nothing to affect her pregnancy. She did it all by herself not being straight with you from day one and not offering you a plan to repay your very generous loan. She probably knew you well enough to know that you wouldn't pressurize her and then, when your own circumstances changed, got a surprise and wasnt prepared to face up to her responsibilities. She's just screaming "not fair" when the one that was not being fair was her.

Never lend large sums of money and especially not to ‘friends’. I got stung once and never again. That is my policy. You are better off without that woman in your life. I also wonder why her mother didn’t lend her the money in the first place given it was her that repaid you.

Your friend is a total dick and it’s her loss. Good riddance, she was taking complete advantage of u and had no intentions of paying u back. Then trying to guilt and gaslight you. She is an awful person. Lesson learnt do not deal in business amongst friends and always if u do, do it legally write up a contract and get it signed with a clear plan. So many people have been in same position as u and feel really silly. This is all on her not you, she’s has abused ur good nature to benefit herself. U got lucky this time her parents stepped in but yes cut your losses she is no friend.

I feel like no one has read all the OP's posts. They play an online game and the only people they speak to are RL friends, they're completely supervised. I did the same thing with my own DC and now they're very sensible online, unlike DC who aren't allowed online at all.

Yes, I would have been tempted to suggest to her mum that maybe she should be examining her own relationship with her daughter, who clearly didn’t feel she could approach her rather than you for a loan.

This!!! What's your daughter doing on social media at this early age???? You seem to have bigger fish to fry, such as parenting your daughter.

You did the right thing raising it. The loan is repaid. Not sure why you are worried about her blocking you. I would be happy that it was behind me and I wouldn't have to bother with this nasty, sponging drama queen any more. Good riddance to her!

Shakespeare said “Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.“ So this has been known in society for literally hundreds of years and yet people still think they can lend a friend a large sum of money and hope for the best it’s repaid and doesn’t affect the friendship. I don’t get it.

I’d also be livid at your mum for getting involved.

you have the money back now. I’d chalk it all up to experience. Don’t lend again and don’t over share with a loose cannon mother.

Lose her, she is not a decent friend or person.

I’m sorry OP she does not sound like a great friend. I always am of the mantra not to lend money to anyone. I got caught up in my own hard-learned lesson where I lent a sibling £1000 with the promise of payback within a few months. I got it back eventually but it was a long road. I felt silly and naive. Never again.

(All fine with the sibling but it is something I will never forget).

It says in the OP’s opening post that the OP got the money back.

This woman wasn’t your friend. She was just a skanky user. Be happy that you are rid of them. I expect her baby will be born safe and well. Load of old shit that you caused bleeding.

What a disgusting thing for her mum to say. You are well rid of this lot. They clearly have no moral compass at all and all-round bullies and exploiters.

She already explained. Stop harassing her. Try reading all of an OPs posts before asking dumb questions.

The "friend" sounds a nightmare. You were very lucky to get the money back as so often people in this kind of situation don't. If she's blocked you take it as a blessing as it means you don't have to bother to block her. It sounds as if contacting the mother was a good idea as she was probably paranoid about everyone knowing or being sued so they managed to get the cash together. The friend could have asked the mother in the first place but who knows what trouble she was really in? As the saying goes, never lend money you can't afford to lose.

Your friend's mum was able to pay you back your £10,000 within a week - so your CF friend wasn't desperate and asking you as her very very last resort when she asked you for the "loan" was she? She could have borrowed it from her Mum.

I think you should think back about how your CF friend knew you had that much money to lend. Did she ask questions that you weren't comfortable answering, but kept pressing until you felt it was rude not to answer? I'm betting £10 that she did and once she'd dug out the information about your finances, she decided that she'd relieve you of most of your cash.

I also find it baffling that she spun you some line about not being able to say what the desperate need for money was and made you feel that it would feel like you were not a good friend, or trusting enough if you wanted to know what the "loan" was for. I bet if you think back to how she managed to avoid saying what it was for, whilst implying it was really desperate and only you could help her - you will see now what she said and did in a new light.

The fact that she did that and then openly went on holidays to Dubai - on your dime and didn't mind that you knew about it does suggest to me that she absolutely planned this step by step.
She is a devious and exploitative CF and I am so glad that her DM gave you back the money.
Ignore the rubbish about the CF being stressed. She wasn't stressed when she refused to have any payment plan, when she tried to swear you to secrecy, when she was spending your money, or when she couldn't even offer a measley monthly repayment plan. She did all that hoping you'd let her off the loan..

So basically she's lied and lied to you again and again, so please don't believe the guilt tripping. She's probably lied to her DM too.
At least you got your money back and you can see the CF for who she really is, not a friend but a user. None of which is your fault as you were close for nearly two decades and trusted her. She didn't understand the real value of your trust and didn't deserve it.

Stop being a jerk. Her kid plays a single online game, where the only friends she has are ones she knows in real life. Her mother is raising her appropriately supervised when it comes to age appropriate online behavior.