Petty issue now a big issue, because he swore on my deathbed

Oh, and the childish swearing on YOUR life has to stop? He knows he's lying and probably why he won't swear on his life, as if it matters

In the words of House MD - 'Everyone lies' 😊

I don't know why everyone is saying let it go? No need for an argument, that time is passed. I would mention you seen receipt and actual date of purchase. If he goes off on one you don't have to join him, but you can make it clear you know he's lied for no reason to you, and that does erode people trust.

Trust broken. Irreparable. Divorce time

Swearing on someone's life/deathbed has always seemed icky to me my ex husband tried Swearing on our babies life once I flipped and told him swear on your own if you must but dont bring the kids into it! At that point I realised just how big a deal my childhood had made this! Anyway now he is gone no-one swears on anything your word is your word that's good enough here

And lying is wrong he is being really stupid lying about petty things that dont matter if he was too busy to shop earlier he was too busy and that should be understood

Lying with ease would put me off too

If you're on your deathbed, which I doubt, you have other, bigger problems.

IME usually means they are a liar.

Most people state things or show proof.

I have to admit lying can be a bit of a red flag to me - but honestly I think you were looking for an argument - why does it matter when it was bought.

You are actually not happy about lack of thought and effort - say that after saying thank you - in a wish you made a bit more effor or be clear in wants next time and don't pick fights for the sake of it.

Oh God. Get some therapy?

People lie. Your sibling lied, your ex lied, your dp lied. It’s not a good thing, ever. But it’s also what humans do. You’re going to have to come up with a better way to handle it than causing a three- act drama.

The swearing on people’s kids, deathbeds, all that - it’s bollocks, kids stuff. Tbh it usually means people are more likely to be lying, because they’re feeling under pressure- it’s a tell.

What happened? He got an anniversary present at the last minute. You started questioning him about it. Why? Quite obvious what happened. Is he good at presents? Maybe have a conversation about just going out together and not doing presents - or a conversation generally about your expectations of each other, what really matters, to both of you.

He cannot "swear on your deathbed" because you are not on your deathbed- and if you were you would have bigger things to worry about than your pyjamas.
Who does all this swearing on lives and deathbeds anyway?
Been with my husband 40 years married for 26. Every anniversary from him a bunch of roses and a bottle of prosecco (which I am not wild on). I get him all sorts of different stuff.
But who frankly cares?
We are celebrating being together and loving each other- the rest is just stuff.

You can't be serious?!

'He went to Asda on the day and clobbered together a gift bag of stuff. All nice enough but a bit late in the day.'

What time of day would you have preferred, exactly? 1pm? 2?

I would never buy you a thing again. Ever.

The swearing thing is irrelevant. He is a person beaten down by negativity and has given up caring.

You genuinely can’t see that your husband’s was a white lie then, in that sense, to spare your feelings?

It’s a drama over nothing OP, let it go. He lied about the day he bought some bloody pj’s, it’s not quite death row material😂

I reckon if you did a survey of people who had been married for, say, 10+ years, you would be hard pressed to find many people who could honestly say that they had never told a single white lie to their spouse.

But if you decide that you can't tolerate it, then I guess you have the option of ending the relationship.

This was a white lie to spare your feelings.
If the gift was thoughtless, bring that up with him. Quizzing him on when pjs were purchased and digging through receipts is just looking for an argument.

I initially thought the OP was dying and he bought pjs, kept them in his boot for a week, then she was annoyed she was only getting them just before she died and he swore at her.

I'm with you OP. THe lying would be a serious concern for me. If you can lie about pyjamas so easily, what else do you think its ok to lie about. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where lying to each other is ok, as long as they are considered little lies.

I totally get where you are coming from. My husband will lie about stupid little things that don’t really matter, except then I don’t know what else he might be lying about! I absolutely hate being lied to and he knows that, so I get much more annoyed about the lie than the thing he is lying about.

Who on earth, over the age of 12, swears on death beds/ mothers graves/ cross heart?

Totally ridiculous issue.

Yes, I'd have an issue with lying but it seems you made a really big deal out of something you shouldn't have and pushed him to tell a small lie.

You both sound hard work and poorly suited.

Perhaps you should accept that his lies are white lies to spare your feelings - i.e. he didn't want you to realise he was lazy, thoughtless and uncaring, because that would hurt you.
The lie was to protect you as much as him
Would telling yourself this work for you?

But wasn't his a white lie to spare your feelings? You wanted to believe he'd planned a bit more, he didnt think it mattered.

Sounds like a weird relationship (with a bad grasp of the English Language) but if you can't trust him not to lie to you its over.
My cousin got a divorce over a stupid lie about a plant, and I didn't blame her

Agreed, he does sound pretty immature.

So you keep saying, OP. But you're not engaging with any of the posts pointing out that you were also at fault, nor are you saying what you plan to do about it.

We get it, you don't like lying. So now what?

I’d never ask anyone to swear anything on my deathbed - it’s pretty meaningless isn’t it really?

You're totally not out of whack.

And I'd ask him one more time. Wait for him to lie. And then produce the receipt. Tell him he's a fucking arse.