Petty issue now a big issue, because he swore on my deathbed

I’d give him back the whole lot with the receipt and tell him to get you something you actually want. And point out the date. Wanker. What was the point of lying?

I think I would burst out laughing if someone swore to me on their deathbed (???) that they bought something a week before they actually did. What an inconsequential thing to be that dramatic about. That also goes for the OP interrogating him about it in the first place. I just can't imagine being arsed with any aspect of this conversation let alone rooting through receipts to check.

If you think he's a thoughtless partner then just leave him rather than doing insane shit to "prove" it.

Perhaps that's the case, but others may not feel the same way as you.

I can't say as an adult I've used the phrase, or had other adults use it to me. But if someone used the phrase I would take it to mean they were trying to convey their absolute seriousness in the matter. Perhaps you wouldn't. That's okay.

There is a supernatural entity who knows your husband lied, and will strike you dead any day now - and that will show him! True or false? JFC, get a grip and enjoy your pyjamas.

Jeepers,how could you be arsed!!
Just to be clear I haven't got beyond first page so haven't saw any updates.

Much better to swear on a celebrity's life (eg Debbie Webster out of Corrie) or a pet rabbit or something, as the consequence seems more remote 🤔

I hate lies so this would massively bother me but I can see the rational behind the lie as he had been shit in not being organised

This made me laugh a lot

OP my advice would be to avoid posting about your relationship on Mumsnet because a lot of people here are unpleasant. Everyone is different and has their own personality and I can guarantee most on here would not be in your circle of friends anyway. Some would put up with it because that’s apart of who they are, you’re obviously not like them. Talk to your husband directly about the issues that keep coming up and maybe look into therapy first for yourself and then as a couple. Only you know yourself and your husband not the judgmental mums on here. Get some real help!

This is really rubbish. I can understand forgetting an anniversary (but no need to lie about it, just fess up and do something extra to make up for it if it's important to you). However, gifting items that are unsafe for the recipient is beyond thoughtless. He does not really care does he? Up to you if you can live with the lying and the lack of care.

I can forgive a lot, but not lying.

I bet if a man said that to you, you’d call it abuse, which it is. So stop with all the name calling.

Low bar strikes again, both with the, let's face it, thoughtless gift, and the lying.

YANBU.

He's more scared of your reaction to his crap present buying than telling the truth.

Because either way, he's caught out.

We don't buy each other presents anymore. Just a card and dinner out somewhere.

I'm not sure presents are needed.

If it's just around presents, have a conversation about it. I don't need presents, nor do I like receiving them unless they're diamonds or gold LOL.

I can buy my own pyjamas etc.

You can't trust him. He's not a man of his word.

Imagine if it was a receipt for a hooker...

And he swore on your deathbed.

He sounds a bit red flaggish with buying presents last minute and nipping round asda. that's not much thought or emotional connection is it?

We dont do anniversary gifts or cards but go out and spend the day together. What does a gift mean? It's almost like ticking a box. I don't think it means much to him either and he felt pressured into getting something and saying he'd put thought in to it by buying it in advance. My advice is ditch the gifts and the associated crap that goes with them and have a lovely day out, hold hands, chat over lunch, bit of shopping, cuddle etc..

He's a liar and he's not going to stop lying.

In my experience, people who swear on their life/deathbed/children's life etc are liars AMD use the swear to persuade the person they're lying to that they're telling the truth, making them even more dishonest. See Harry Kane as an example.

People lie all the time for lots of insignificant reasons. It's not great, but it happens.

But people who emphatically swear they are not lying are usually flagging up that this swear is actually a really big lie.

Now you know. An you can live with it, knowing he is going to lie to you and disappoint you, or try not to be disappointed when it happens, or leave.

If I were in your shoes, I would be leaving because he is swearing blind he's not a liar and then lying, which is utterly disrespectful of you. He's lost your trust and once that's gone, you should go too.

The second anyone swears on someone’s life, I know they’re a twat 😂

Swearing on your life? Are you seven years old? 😅

The second anyone swears on someone's life, I know they are lying.

In all my life, the only people who have ever sworn on anyone's life have been habitual liars, who are lying again.

Not past the age of six, usually.

If you were grilling me about exactly when I’d bought your sodding pyjamas I’d probably lie too, to shut you up. I can’t imagine having the time or energy to root around looking for receipts to try and trip someone up.

🤣

I wouldn't have got in the situation where he lied, because I wouldn't have asked when he bought them, because I wouldn't care. I would have just said thank you for the present.

I hate people swearing on anyone's life with a passion. I think every single time I've heard someone swearing on their/someone else's life it's been a lie. It immediately makes that person untrustworthy to me. Like the only way they think they'll convince someone of something is by invoking wild hyperbole, because it's so unbelievable that they, in this case, bought some pajamas. ] that's only unbelievable if they know it's a lie.

I'd be upset he lied. I'd be upset he thought he needed to lie. I'd be upset he thought my reaction would be so out of proportion that he couldn't tell the truth, and I'd be upset if on reflection I realised I would have had an unreasonable reaction.

I'd want to look at how we both communicate in that case, and have a proper talk about it without anyone pointing fingers or getting angry. If we couldn't do that, I'd think that was a symptom of something far bigger.

Swearing on imaginary deathbeds is pathetic . You both need to grow up. 🙄

…but you would pick and pick, and go grubbing through his receipts to check up on it. Which is actually so much worse to live with.

Fo you think it is possible that he knows you make a Mountain out of a Molehill and just wanted to have a nice time, and you wouldn’t be satisfied until you had completely spoiled it? Both of you know that if he had said he bought them on the day there would have been words about him not putting the effort in.