Petty issue now a big issue, because he swore on my deathbed

Yes because it’s an absolutely pointless thing to say.

He told a “white lie” to “spare your feelings” because you were rude enough to badger him over when he bought the gifts. But you didn’t leave it, you kept on at him about it forcing him to promise the date he bought them. And now you feel smug because you can prove he lied. Can’t you see how much hard work you are? I assume you’re actively trying to ruin your relationship?

Just accept he will always lie when he is cornered. Not an attractive trait.

You forced him into a corner by making a big deal about the timing of a gift rather than expressing gratitude for the gift. Lesson learnt by you hopefully! I’d ask yourself what it is about you that makes him feel he has to lie, rather than being annoyed at him for lying!

I'm most disappointed that you aren't a ghost posting to complain about your DH swearing whilst you were dying.

You would be unreasonable not to haunt him for that!

Maybe look at why he feels the need to lie.

"All nice enough, but I did mention it was a bit late in the day. "
"I raised an eyebrow "

Are you always looking for fault?

This! Just try being appreciative of the fact that you got anniversary gifts - in the plural - on your anniversary. It sounds as though you created an unpleasant drama.

Feel a bit mean for typing this as I see the OP had previous bad experiences which shaped her approach. Sorry!

Wouldn’t bother me at all! It’s just words. 😊

I can’t believe as an adult you are actually using the term “swear on deathbed “ . I just feel like there is more to this, if he felt the need to lie over something so silly and inconsequential it says something about you as well as him.

My take on this situation is it seems unlikely the DH offered up that slightly strange sworn assurance unprompted. Could it be that he was told to ‘swear on [OP’s] deathbed’ under duress, by the very person who appears to feel this issue is tantamount to a matter of life and death?

How can he swear on your deathbed? He should be swearing on his own?

#missingthepoint

Why is he swearing on anyone's life over a pair of pajamas? Seems like complete overkill. But if he has to, then why not swear on his own life? That's the more normal thing to do. There's something weird about him choosing to swear on yours instead. Obviously it's not going to actually do you any harm, it's not like he's bringing a curse down upon your head or anything. But his attitude would give me the ick.

I'm guessing it's not new for you to feel disrespected and devalued by him, and that's why all of this hit such a nerve. I'd follow that thread, if I were you.

You made a big deal about stuff being bought last minute. He tried to please you.

Are you dead?

Maybe she just found the receipt when looking in a bag. She said nothing about rooting around. I never throw receipts out without checking I don’t need it for anything.

It's 'cobbled together' not clobbered.
Your written English is very strange.

It won’t actually kill you if someone swear on your life you know…

I think you need to calmly explain that there were two issues

1. lack of thought for your anniversary. It makes you doubt how important you are to him
2. lying is a trigger for you given your past

Explain how you would like him to deal with this in the future.

It actually isn't about the pjs, or the deathbed, it's triggering your feelings from your past and bringing doubt into your relationship. You're probably more upset/sad than angry. And he told a small lie just to not get into trouble.

Your poor husband. You seem like a nightmare.

Instead of just accepting the gift, you had to get in a dig about it being late in the day.
He either felt guilty about that so lied ib attempt to maker you feel better about the situation.
OR you pissed him off by not being grateful so he said it to shut you up.
Either way if you’d just gratefully accepted the nice gift, he wouldn’t have lied. It really shouldn’t matter that much when he bought them. You got them on the day, you like them, that should suffice.

So a white lie to spare someone's feelings, like only buying an anniversary gift on the day rather than in advance as 'required', is okay. So his white lie about the specific time and date of purchase, by your own admission, is ok to save your feelings of being 'forgotten'

OP, in all honesty, if the gift was thoughtless and shit, you should have focused on that. When he bought it is irrelevant. You said the gift was 'all fine' but then said it isn't. These goalposts are all over the place

I agree. He’s actually crap all round. The gifts were thoughtless and purchased last minute. Then he lied in a spectacularly awful way.

Clearly some folks seem to think it’s fine for a bloke to put little effort in and not be challenged.

I don’t expect a lot, but mine has always managed flowers and a card on the day, and usually the flowers I like, which means no lilies. So he can’t just grab any old bouquet.

Yes it's a massive problem. If a person can look you in the eye and tell you a lie on whatever 'oath' is meaningful to you, you can't trust them.

I’m with you OP, it’s not the subject but the fact that he lied, and with ease. People lie to cover up stuff they know isn’t ok. He knew it wasn’t ok to cobble stuff together last minute with very little thought and lied. Next time he does something he knows isn’t ok, he’ll probably lie. Where does he draw the line? This was such a silly little thing to lie about too, so for me it doubly shows his capacity to lie as he can’t even take responsibility for something so trivial!! In my experience if someone lies easily about little things, they absolutely lie about big things too. And if someone lies, how can you trust them?