Petty issue now a big issue, because he swore on my deathbed

It really doesn't!
And why do we still have people blaming a woman for her partner being a liar?

The fact that he felt he had to "swear on your life" to avoid upsetting you, says a lot more about you than it does about him!

Yes. It's almost sacriligious.

That's sick.
Your ex could've at least sworn on his own life - the coward.

Having read some of the replies I'm guessing most here lie to their partner. everyone lies to save face or to not hurt.
But she knows he lied. He knows she knows. And he didn't care enough to get rid of the receipt properly. Says it all really.

I don't know why so many people are being side-tracked by the wording. The point is OP's husband lied to her over something small. It understandably has raised the question of what else he has lied about and would he also lie about bigger things?

He lied -not good in my book - because she put him on the spot about when it was bought.

She did that because she was unhappy that the gift lacked thought - if it had been more thoughtful and bought that late I doubt she'd have questioned it.

She been miffed with the gift but not told him or had a conversation about that instead gone to accusation about when it was bought - he knows he's looking at an arguement not a conversation and lied to avoid - she then "found" evidence that shows he now lied - and she's hung up on that.

I wouldn't like his lie but can see how and why it's happened - but it's in part because she lied about presents being "fine" when she clearly and understandably miffed but clearly feels she can't say that so is casting round for things to be upset about which he clearly understands and is now lying to avoid.

Lying is a red herring - though I think he may well be a habitual liar from phrasing - it's poor communication from both of them and possibly some underlying feelings of not being valued from OP.

I suspect many posters are thinking of times they've been put on the spot got defensives and found white lies slipping out.

I try not to do this as hate being lied to but I have lied to my older family members to head off an argument I couldn't be arsed with when I knew the real issues was something else entirely something they disapproved of and been told not their bussiness and I did not want yet another rehash via a proxy issue - but that's happened bacause they won't communicate properly with me on same level and I'm already frustrated with them.

I'd be annoyed he'd lied to me but he did make the effort to rush around getting you stuff so I'd let it slide and not tell him I knew he lied. If he didn't get you stuff you'd have more to worry about. Move on and stop dramatising.

I don't know why so many people are being side-tracked by the wording. The point is OP's husband lied to her over something small. It understandably has raised the question of what else he has lied about and would he also lie about bigger things?

I'm also surprised so many posters seem to find lying in general ok.

Why is he swearing on your life?

By the time you are adults (or indeed a teenager) swearing on lives is pretty meaningless. You aren’t about to be struck down. It’s such little deal!

I am old and cynical and I can tell you that anyone who swears on someone’s life is lying, and is an habitual liar.

@ILoveHolidaysAbroadis the time he bought them important because you gave your gift first and then he went out to buy something so it was 'a bit late in the day?' So his lie is to cover up the fact he forgot?

Once a liar always a liar. That’s a red flag right there my lovely

Why ask this on a forum? Lying is clearly an issue for you and that’s absolutely fine. Others might say they don’t care about “inconsequential” lying and that’s fine for them. You won’t persuade them and they won’t persuade you. If it’s an issue for you it’s an issue for you and you need to decide how big an issue you make of it with your partner.

Back in the day. Swearing on your death bed..Although it sounds like a contradiction..

Was used as a mark of honour, loyalty, respect and honesty to show that they were telling the truth. It was like an oath or bond not to be broken by decent people.

Of course it was used by.liars and the unscrupulous . But if found out they were usually shunned.

A pair of pyjamas is not a.huge thing but lying is.
.
But he was disrespectful and hurtful towards you on your birthday.

How about using the pyjamas to set alight a bonfire on the back garden?

It's creepy lying like that. And not planning gifts is hurtful. I would let him know what you want in advance in future. But the lying is creepy.

Sorry, but is there ANY point swearing on someone's life about a pyjama purchase date and the other person then checking?
How odd.

He bought you a gift and you questioned it. Ungrateful is what you are. You didn't deserve it.
I don't blame him for lying about it. You sound like you were gunning for an argument regardless of what he bought you or when he bought it.

I’m honestly exhausted just reading your replies @ILoveHolidaysAbroad
if you don’t trust him then separate
this is no way to live for either of you .

Bet he not like it if you swore on his life!

Yes, his lies will come back and bite him on the bum!

Pyjama
Drama
Karma

Some of us were raised with the belief it did something hence me never saying it im an adult I know that it is meaningless but there is forever an inner child that won't let the words out "just in case" (yes i had an abusive childhood)

Falling out with somebody because you made them double triple swear, on your deathbed, no returns and no backsies, sounds like something a pair of 8 year olds would do.

If that is the level your relationship is at, I’d just break up and find an adult to go out with instead.

Swearing 'on' anything, whether their life, the kids' lives, on a four leaf clover or a deathbed means 'I AM LYING TO YOU'.

The only time that is different is when there's a holy book, a court official, a judge, a couple of solicitors, two KCs and 12 members of the public across the way. And then it's still 50:50.

He obviously didn’t want to look like it was a last minute decision just say hey if your going to lie to me try not leaving the evidence behind when he says what just say receipt was in the bag so now we both know and ask him does he have the ability to lie to your face with other things. See how he responds lying is crap but he didn’t want you to say I knew it was last minute.