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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dirty sink.

144 replies

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 10:25

If you're a cleaner or housekeeper, how do you feel about this:

Stay at home mum of two, kids at school all day. Very capable, no medical issues.

Leaves milk out opened, dishes on the side of the sink, teabags in the sink.

Dirty kitchen towel on the floor.
Obviously have to pick the towel up to clean the floor but clearing the rest seems to be enabling her to do more mess.
Easy option is to get another job of course, which I'm looking into, but how to deal with this day to day.
First thing when coming into work is being confronted by this scene everyday.
YABU- just clear up.
YANBU- An adult should be able to do bare minimum and put stuff back/bin.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 07/11/2025 11:46

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:29

I've done it on and off for ages, never any issues.

I am absolutely leaving this one.

Show quote history

then leave it. She wants someone to do stuff you don't want to do, basic mismatch!

BluntPlumHam · 07/11/2025 11:40

If you’re a housekeeper then you should be doing it all it’s what you’re paid for surely?

If however you are just a cleaner then she should tidy up and leave the surfaces and floors clutter free so you can clean.

Flakey99 · 07/11/2025 11:37

People like me just don’t care enough about living in a messy environment. We function differently to you.

It’s a shame you have such rigid ideas about what makes a decent person but that’s your problem, not mine.

AD1509 · 07/11/2025 11:36

I personally do a full top to bottom house clean before my cleaners come. Wouldn’t want them to have to do what I am paying them for or post judgey comments on the internet about my teabags.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 07/11/2025 11:33

Are you a cleaner or a housekeeper? It makes a difference

Irenesortof · 07/11/2025 11:33

I clear and tidy the surfaces in any room I ask my clraner to clean. It would feel rude to leave them washing up or tidying. But some people think the job includes sorting out mess.

Original poster
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:29

WLnamechange · 07/11/2025 11:26

Yeah... maybe this career isn't for you.

I've done it on and off for ages, never any issues.

I am absolutely leaving this one.

OP posts:
WLnamechange · 07/11/2025 11:26

Yeah... maybe this career isn't for you.

Original poster
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:26

DingDongJingle · 07/11/2025 11:23

It doesn’t matter whether she is or isn’t busy. It’s irrelevant. I’m currently sitting in a cafe with a coffee and a slice of carrot cake while someone cleans my car 🤷🏻‍♀️. All that matters is what is or isn’t in your job description.

Show quote history

That was fpr someone who said she might have had a hectic morning.
I've had my car cleaned too so get that.

She could be a lawyer out all day and I'd still feel it's basic manners.

OP posts:
Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired · 07/11/2025 11:25

If you're a weekly/bi-weekly cleaner, yanbu. A daily housekeeper, then yabu.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 07/11/2025 11:24

What's the problem ?
You're employed as a cleaner (I know it's beneath you), so do your job or find a more suitable career.

Original poster
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:24

Mydogsmellslikewee · 07/11/2025 11:08

Oh man, or, she might have just employed a housekeeper to do things she can’t be arsed to do, putting milk away and chucking teabags in the bin included.

Show quote history

She wanted help, not someone to do everything.
Early days, she'd do all this herself but has let go more and more.
I wonder if I enabled it initially.

I guess it's like having a gardener whom you expect to pick up dog mess vs those that don't.

OP posts:
DingDongJingle · 07/11/2025 11:23

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:20

I enjoy my job as a whole, other than the teabags.
Have cleaned for others before with no issues.
Had an evening cleaning job through university and still friends with the woman.

Might be a straw that broke the camel's back.

She'd be sat in the next room watching Eastenders, so it's not that she's too busy at all. She's free till the kids are back.

It doesn’t matter whether she is or isn’t busy. It’s irrelevant. I’m currently sitting in a cafe with a coffee and a slice of carrot cake while someone cleans my car 🤷🏻‍♀️. All that matters is what is or isn’t in your job description.

Original poster
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:20

I enjoy my job as a whole, other than the teabags.
Have cleaned for others before with no issues.
Had an evening cleaning job through university and still friends with the woman.

Might be a straw that broke the camel's back.

She'd be sat in the next room watching Eastenders, so it's not that she's too busy at all. She's free till the kids are back.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:12

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 07/11/2025 11:02

I used to clean for myself and had one client who would have washing all over the table, 2-3 days of pots on the sides, I used to go for 3 hours and clean the kitchen diner, front room and downstairs loo. I used to do all washing up and sorting the washing, etc this was never agreed but to be able to do my job I had to

I went in one day, walked in the kitchen, put some empty can in the bin, thought I can't do this and walked back out, posted my key through the door and quit.

I had another where it took me half an hour washing up and clearing the tops to be able to clean the kitchen - again got to a point where i could not face it anymore and quit.

I wouldn't care but they were both professional women with goods jobs, OK you have kids and are busy and have a cleaner but have to some pride.

This is what I mean. I've done it previously thinking oh, she forgot/was in a rush/overlooked etc.

I know she can do it, but chooses not to.
Sound trial, but genuinely one of the reasons I don't like coming in. It grates more than a bad loo as with that, I can blame the kids.
She's the only one drinking the tea.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 07/11/2025 11:10

I think you're in the wrong job if you are assessing her so negatively, it's not your job to understand why she has hired you, it's your job to clean. If you have an agreement that says the areas need to be clear of clutter so you can do the job than fair enough, bring it up.

DingDongJingle · 07/11/2025 11:09

I pay someone to clean my car, inside and out, because I can’t be arsed to do it myself. So I guess that’s what this woman is doing with her house.

TheChicDreamer · 07/11/2025 11:09

Sounds a bit lazy and grim to me. Disrespectful too: I always tidy up for my cleaners before they arrive so a) they can focus on the job and b) I don’t expect them to clear up my mess.

Mydogsmellslikewee · 07/11/2025 11:08

rookiemere · 07/11/2025 10:53

She may be ND and genuinely not see mess. I mean it’s not like she’s leaving shit stained toilets or dirty knickers on the floor.
Do your job in the time you have. If you find it upsetting then drop her as a client, but it sounds like she really needs your services!

Oh man, or, she might have just employed a housekeeper to do things she can’t be arsed to do, putting milk away and chucking teabags in the bin included.

Tryingatleast · 07/11/2025 11:04

I’m so confused, are you a cleaner? How do you honestly know she’s well able or not taken up with other things?

(Not a sahm but just this morning one ds realised they’d lost a school reading log and the other spilt something all over their jumper, saying they don’t have sn is nothing- they’re kids, they’ll find a way to have you running about!!)

Op you’re in the wrong job if you judge people for their mess. I actually always thought the pin mn who had cleaners were messing when they said they couldn’t leave the place untidy for the cleaner, it’s actually depressing as my dream is to someday get someone in to help out even for a day but you think she’s bad you’d judge the hell out of me!!

Mydogsmellslikewee · 07/11/2025 11:04

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 10:47

Haha, but he would be in charge of disposing said teabags, milk etc.

Show quote history

No, that would be the job of my housekeeper.

If you were employed as a housekeeper, I don’t really think you can complain. And I don’t think it’s fair for people to say she can’t manage. I manage to keep a clean and tidy house, but if I could afford help, I wouldn’t be doing a thing as I’d be employing someone to do it for me. That’s the whole point.

EachandEveryone · 07/11/2025 11:04

How much an hour is she paying? I also have a housekeeper fantasy😀

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 07/11/2025 11:02

I used to clean for myself and had one client who would have washing all over the table, 2-3 days of pots on the sides, I used to go for 3 hours and clean the kitchen diner, front room and downstairs loo. I used to do all washing up and sorting the washing, etc this was never agreed but to be able to do my job I had to

I went in one day, walked in the kitchen, put some empty can in the bin, thought I can't do this and walked back out, posted my key through the door and quit.

I had another where it took me half an hour washing up and clearing the tops to be able to clean the kitchen - again got to a point where i could not face it anymore and quit.

I wouldn't care but they were both professional women with goods jobs, OK you have kids and are busy and have a cleaner but have to some pride.

MidnightPatrol · 07/11/2025 10:59

I think if a daily housekeeper it’s probably not unreasonable and why she needs the daily help.

It’s not like you’re coming in 2 hours a week to
clean and not able to as it’s such a mess.

But if you don’t like it, get a new job.

OvernightBloats · 07/11/2025 10:53

She just has different standards and so is coping with it by hiring help. It might feel to you that she is treating you with disrespect. I bet she is so self-absorbed, she would never consider it rude to leave towels on the floor.

Definitely leave if the job is causing you too much irritation especially if the toilets are sometimes very grotty!