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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dirty sink.

144 replies

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 10:25

If you're a cleaner or housekeeper, how do you feel about this:

Stay at home mum of two, kids at school all day. Very capable, no medical issues.

Leaves milk out opened, dishes on the side of the sink, teabags in the sink.

Dirty kitchen towel on the floor.
Obviously have to pick the towel up to clean the floor but clearing the rest seems to be enabling her to do more mess.
Easy option is to get another job of course, which I'm looking into, but how to deal with this day to day.
First thing when coming into work is being confronted by this scene everyday.
YABU- just clear up.
YANBU- An adult should be able to do bare minimum and put stuff back/bin.

OP posts:
Burntt · 07/11/2025 12:41

There is a distinction between cleaner and housekeeper. early in my career I used to feel like this about a couple or so women I used to work for as a nanny who had a daily cleaner and therefore did nothing for themselves. Then I realised one I was judging who didn’t work also had a husband who hardly worked he was just excessively paid for consulting very occasionally and had family wealth. The mum was working more hours for the PTA and doing all house admin but in my head I judged her for the laziness not him?!

as a nanny I learned very fast not to take nanny housekeeper jobs. Nanny and a set number of hours cleaning was different and ok but there is such a thing as a housekeeper which is essentially a paid mother picking up after everyone and doing the cleaning and organising.

now I’m older if I had the money to employ a housekeeper I’d absolutely do it! It’s better to spend your money that way to lower paid workers than line the pockets of CEOs by spending in different ways

Mydogsmellslikewee · 07/11/2025 12:38

MrsMoastyToasty · 07/11/2025 12:28

Remind her you are Cleaner, not a Tidyer.

OP hasn’t clarified if she’s a weekly cleaner or a daily housekeeper.

They are two very different things. A daily house keeper - absolutely put the teabags in the bin, thats the sort of thing you are paid to do.

springintoaction2 · 07/11/2025 12:34

@Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease you're a very sensitive soul. I've worked as a cleaner in the past (of holiday homes) and believe me when I say a teabag left somewhere in the kitchen is really not a problem.

Maybe being a cleaner is a bit too much and you need to find another type of work.

AnnaFrith · 07/11/2025 12:29

Though if you were my cleaner I'd probably sack you if you kept leaving the teabags in sink.

CryMyEyesViolet · 07/11/2025 12:28

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 10:48

She can though if she chooses to. She won't do it if a friend is coming over.

She could choose to do everything she’s paying you for, but she’s choosing to pay you instead.

I often leave teabags on the sink. I do clean them up at the end of the day, but if I had a housekeeper or a cleaner I wouldn’t be rushing to clear them up before they get there, as I’m paying them to do the clearing and cleaning.

It’s hardly like she’s running around creating a mess for you to clean (and even then, it’s not that unreasonable if you’re paying the person to clean it…)

MrsMoastyToasty · 07/11/2025 12:28

Remind her you are Cleaner, not a Tidyer.

AnnaFrith · 07/11/2025 12:24

I don't see the point of hiring a cleaner if you have to clean up before they arrive.
If you don't like the job, quit, but I don't think your employer is unreasonable.

BluntPlumHam · 07/11/2025 12:24

Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired · 07/11/2025 11:56

So are you a daily housekeeper or not?

This, what is your job role exactly?

BluntPlumHam · 07/11/2025 12:22

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:54

So only unwell people leave tebags in the sink for the cleaner?

She isn't unwell.

No op, I wouldn’t leave dirty dishes/teabags for my cleaner or a mess in the sink. I’d clear it out but wouldn’t wipe it down or clean it if cleaner was due the next day?

I don’t have a housekeeper but I have a cleaner. She does a fantastic job and evening before we give the house a quick tidy, put things away etc so I can come back to a tidy and spotless home. Cleaners aren’t hired to pick up your mess they’re there to do a really good intense clean which is entirely different. Of course, none of the above applies if you’re a housekeeper.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/11/2025 12:09

Irenesortof · 07/11/2025 11:33

I clear and tidy the surfaces in any room I ask my clraner to clean. It would feel rude to leave them washing up or tidying. But some people think the job includes sorting out mess.

Again, there's a difference between a weekly cleaner & someone you pay daily to help.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 07/11/2025 12:06

Maybe she is just a lazy person.
It doesn't have to be complicated or deep.
Some people just can't be bothered.

Squidgoals · 07/11/2025 12:04

I don’t understand your problem. Tidying is well inside the ‘cleaning’ brief and she’s hired you precisely because she can’t be arsed to clean and tidy. If I knew there was somebody coming to clean up after me every morning I wouldn’t waste a second doing anything either!

Lovingbooks · 07/11/2025 12:04

It would be helpful to know how many hours you are employed. Lots of elements of working grate on people but you are being paid. Just find a different job although I’m sure cleaners come across more worrying things than teabags in the sink.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/11/2025 12:01

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:54

So only unwell people leave tebags in the sink for the cleaner?

She isn't unwell.

You don't know that. If I paid someone to clean they wouldn't know how unwell I am because unless we became friends I wouldn't tell them.

I don't leave teabags in the sink, but it's hardly like leaving her sec toys out for you to wash is it! Get a grip ( of he tea balgs)

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/11/2025 11:58

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:20

I enjoy my job as a whole, other than the teabags.
Have cleaned for others before with no issues.
Had an evening cleaning job through university and still friends with the woman.

Might be a straw that broke the camel's back.

She'd be sat in the next room watching Eastenders, so it's not that she's too busy at all. She's free till the kids are back.

You are not cut out for this job.

you don't know what her mental or physical as health is like, nor is it your place to know or judge.

she PAYS you for your time to HELP, not judge.

just give notice & let her find someone who wants to help, without judgement.

Luna6 · 07/11/2025 11:57

Some people leave the teabags in the sink until they are cool. Not wanting to put hot ones in he recycling. It sounds like you are expecting her to do your job.

Endofthetunnel25 · 07/11/2025 11:57

I always do a pre-tidy before my cleaner comes. She's there to clean, not put away my mess. I'd be mortified if she had to clean teabags and other crap out my sink (and I'm a pretty messy person!).

EmeraldShamrock000 · 07/11/2025 11:57

I agree, lazy and entitled. Similar to clients who leave a pad in their underwear or shit stains down the loo, used condom on locker.

I've heard it all.

Some people are just rank, they lack respect, money cannot buy manners. They employ a cleaner not someone who deserves crap treatment.

There has been times that I've left teabags in the sink, knowing I was be picking them up.

Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired · 07/11/2025 11:56

So are you a daily housekeeper or not?

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:54

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/11/2025 11:48

But goes your cleaner come daily?

I think there's a I'd fifference between employing a cleaner once a week for a full house clean & employing someone daily as a house keeper/home help.

the OP HAS NO WAY of knowing if the woman is mentally or physically unwell. She's been employed daily to HELP, not judge.

So only unwell people leave tebags in the sink for the cleaner?

She isn't unwell.

OP posts:
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:49

Lovingbooks · 07/11/2025 11:48

You do sound judgemental. Most cleaners take pride in helping their clients. From your posts it doesn’t sound like the right job for you. I always thought it strange when I heard of cleaning for the cleaner to come. In reality if it’s clean enough for a cleaner to clean all surfaces , hoover and dust it’s not really much of a step for the client to take this over themselves. Are you engaged to clean daily? Maybe you need to revisit the terms of the clean of there is a mismatch between duties.

It's not about cleaning everything, I said what grates, tje teabags as the bin is right there.

OP posts:
FamBae · 07/11/2025 11:49

I'm presuming you're paid an hourly rate so what does it matter if your tidying or cleaning, I would only be concerned if I was being called out for rooms not being cleaned / hoovered (because I spent 30 minutes clearing up your shitty mess and stacking the dishwasher that's why)
But if it's really irritating you I guess your making the right decision to move on.

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/11/2025 11:49

godmum56 · 07/11/2025 11:46

then leave it. She wants someone to do stuff you don't want to do, basic mismatch!

I am leaving.
She wasn't like this before though.

OP posts:
AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/11/2025 11:48

TheChicDreamer · 07/11/2025 11:09

Sounds a bit lazy and grim to me. Disrespectful too: I always tidy up for my cleaners before they arrive so a) they can focus on the job and b) I don’t expect them to clear up my mess.

But goes your cleaner come daily?

I think there's a I'd fifference between employing a cleaner once a week for a full house clean & employing someone daily as a house keeper/home help.

the OP HAS NO WAY of knowing if the woman is mentally or physically unwell. She's been employed daily to HELP, not judge.

Lovingbooks · 07/11/2025 11:48

You do sound judgemental. Most cleaners take pride in helping their clients. From your posts it doesn’t sound like the right job for you. I always thought it strange when I heard of cleaning for the cleaner to come. In reality if it’s clean enough for a cleaner to clean all surfaces , hoover and dust it’s not really much of a step for the client to take this over themselves. Are you engaged to clean daily? Maybe you need to revisit the terms of the clean of there is a mismatch between duties.