Why do some partners stay all day?

Therein lies the issue, we're suppose to understand/care that you want your partner there, but you don't understand/care that he's just a random (annoying) man to us. Being there all the time is ridiculous and selfish.

I found the tv blaring all day unbearable after I had an emergency hysterectomy and complications caused by an undiagnosed endocrine disease. I just wanted peace and quiet.

If I'm in hospital, unwell, worried and I need my husband there... I personally dont care about your opinion.

1 or 2 patients with male partner.
Several patients having to tolerate random man/men.
See how that works?
Being there all the time is an issue, even if you refuse to see it.

When your in hospital with the same people for weeks or months at a time. You bond over all the embarrassing things that happen in hospital like every morning the nurse going round the room asking the stool chart questions. Peeing and pooing infront of each other and hearing each others medical problems. Talking about the staff you like and don't like etc its just what happens when your with people for that long. I've made some great friends in hospital who I still speak to.

I don’t see it makes much difference having a patient or visitor next door. It’s embarrassing regardless.
Visiting times don’t really change things, you can’t predict when you will need the toilet.
And with nurses being so stretched it is nice to have someone there to help grab stuff, get drinks, help you to toilet etc.

I literally had to be on the ward as much as possible for my mum when she was admitted to advocate for her and provide support and care.

She had no history of dementia and had probably suffered a stroke plus had UTI but one of the doctors misread handwritten notes and read arthritis as Alzheimer’s. They were unaware that she had RA and had been seen by rheumatology in the same hospital for years. Her routine medication was stopped abruptly and she was admitted to a dementia ward where her delirium was ignored despite sudden onset of delusional beliefs and hallucinations.

Her personal care including feeding and fluid intake was shocking. I lived 250 miles away and had primary aged DC with additional needs but the staff expected me to be on the ward all day and every day to keep her calm, order her meals, make sure she ate and drank etc. If I left overnight or, god forbid, was not there at the weekend, when I went back I was made to feel guilty that I had left and would be told that she had had a fall, had been distressed etc (because I hadn’t been there to provide 1:1, only I could calm her when she was distressed).

In my absence, she was given no support to eat, drink, wash or change into clean clothes. When I returned she would have an electronic monitor clipped to her clothes so she didn’t fall out of bed (again) but the nurse call device would be deliberately placed out of her reach. They were aware of acute deterioration and she was supposed to have high calorie meals and fluid intake measured but no support to actually eat or drink was provided by anyone other than me.

It’s very distressing to watch a loved one deteriorate due to lack of basic care whilst in hospital because it exceeds the duties of health care workers but is not the duty of nurses or doctors. It is made worse when you are made to feel that it is not the failure of the health service but a personal failure because it is actually your duty to ensure personal care.

I’d prefer the health service to be honest about what will and won’t be provided so that families, additional insurance, the LA can plan to meet the gap.

OP in your case it does sound like the ‘visitor’ was sticking around waiting for discharge - there can be a wait of hours before the paperwork is completed.

YOUR needs dont over-ride the person who may require familial support either... see how that works?

Bring back visiting times! Why can't adults manage by themselves in hospital? They're not infants or small children.

One patient's needs/desires aren't more important than everyone else though - it's utterly selfish to have what is a random man to everyone else on the ward constantly.

Unfortunately it’s what the people want. What they want they often get. Years ago patients especially with stroke or brain related problems would have split visiting times to allow them time to have an afternoon nap & allow their brain to rest. This has now gone & visitors sometimes want to stay later than all day. I don’t think the patients truly want a stream of guests. Most want rest or just their closest person.

If his partner DID need him there... other peoples opinion isn't relevant.
If he's sitting there quietly I dont see an issue.

Being there all day, and not considering that the other patients also have needs - which might include not wanting a random man around all the time.

I cannot see how he was being disrespectful?

And you’d be told that he isn’t if the ward allows visitors all day. If you repeatedly asked and made a nuisance of yourself, you would be more likely to be asked to leave.

I dont think people should be there for too long. It's not fair on others. I remember hospital as a young woman and my parents totally stressing me out by insisting on being there. I hate fussing and that's literally what they did all day long. I couldn't sleep or rest with them sitting there gaping at me. They had no interest in hearing what i wanted and kept insisting. I had a longer stint in my mid 30s, about a week and didn't tell anyone except DH. He visited every day for an hour or two and dropped in what I wanted. I looked forward to his visits but was always relieved when he left. I was there to rest and I prefer to rest alone.

I dont think people should be there for too long. It's not fair on others. I remember hospital as a young woman and my parents totally stressing me out by insisting on being there. I hate fussing and that's literally what they did all day long. I couldn't sleep or rest with them sitting there gaping at me. They had no interest in hearing what i wanted and kept insisting. I had a longer stint in my mid 30s, about a week and didn't tell anyone except DH. He visited every day for an hour or two and dropped in what I wanted. I looked forward to his visits but was always relieved when he left. I was there to rest and I prefer to rest alone.