Why do some partners stay all day?

Just because a family cannot have one parent at all time doesn't mean all parents should be banned for everybody else.

Put it another way, some parents can't stay with their kids - the one who does stay takes off the pressure from the staff and they have more time to help the child who is alone.

most parents are not monsters, if they see a little kid crying or dropping something, they try to help or cheer them up too.

When my dad was dying he was put on a general ward. Everyone there was in for (seemingly) minor issues. All up and chatting and able to walk. My dad was immobile, on oxygen, tube fed and barely verbal. There was strict visiting hours on that ward but as my dad was dying we were given unrestricted visiting access. Really he should have been in a side room but there wasn’t any available. My mum and I did get complaints about the fact that at least one of us was there 24 hours a day. But tough luck really. He was on that ward a week until a wonderful Macmillan nurse demanded they move him to a private space. He died 48 hours after that in peace at least.

To be honest, i think it was worse for the other parent’s and families to be stuck on a ward with a clearly dying man than be worried about visitors. If anyone has been around someone in active dying phase it’s not always pleasant. But anyway. We weren’t leaving no matter who complained.

When my son was in hospital, a child on his bay was moved to a side room so his mum who had just given birth the day before could continue to stay with him and also be with her new baby.

Another mum had a partner who worked nights so her youngest had to stay with her. She wasn't allowed to stay overnight with the younger child (he was 6) but they made sure she had somewhere nearby to stay with her son so she didn't have to go all the way home.

I only had DS to worry about and that was hard enough, those who had multiple children who constantly trying to juggle everything. The hospital should try and help with that as much as they can, I'm sorry yours didn't, that must've been awful.

Just a tip if you get a smelly fellow patient, stick half a rolled face wipe up each nostril. Works a treat and I'm smell sensitive (professional reasons). Vics also works!

Not so easy when your partner is off on tour and you have a breastfed baby wih the elder one in hospital and they won't let you take the baby in

One family brought in a flipping picnic to a bedside. Lovely for the patient who was on liquids only. 😬 Another lot of- German - brought in a load of Greggs pasties 🤷‍♀️ oohing and aahing over them. 😂

When my son was in hospital, at least one parent was expected to be with them at all times unless there was a very good reason it wasn't possible. They simply just don't have enough staff to do things other than check obs, do dressing changes etc so you still had to be parenting your child as normal such as brushing their teeth, showering them, taking them to the toilet etc.

Siblings would usually stay at home with the other parent and parents would swap who was staying with the child so mum might stay during the week but dad might stay at the weekend.

When I was in hospital aged 5, my mum visited most afternoons, mum and dad on a Sunday. She had 2 other children to look after and my dads day off was Sunday, so there really wasn't much else they could do.

proves the point that other patients are the ones making life hell, so people are the problems, not visitors as such. As long as there are communal wards, no visitor doesn't make life better for anyone, it makes it more difficult when you need help.

No visitor times also seems to be the signal for some patients to try to intrude, start conversation and become a general nuisance.

No complain about limiting the number of visitor - even to ONE if needed - and banning all under 18.

I couldn't have imagined only visiting my child for an hour or two a day, those poor families.

I remember that applied to the children's wards as well. As for the person with camper van, at my local hospital it would be cheaper to stay in a hotel than pay for the parking.

Personally I wouldn't want to be separated by a curtain from a really smelly shit, so I would have gone ahead and hoped they got the message.

I was in hospital recently. The nursing care was absolutely atrocious. They were rushed off their feet. I was brought back from surgery and left facing a wall, with no water, no phone, nothing. I have never been so relieved to see my husband walk in. He got me into my pyjamas, set me up with my phone, charger, water, magazine etc.

If you want to start limiting visiting times then fine, but they need to adequately staff the wards.

Because.it is warm and comfortable, They have someone to talk to and probably nothing else to do.

And the NHS lets them .

They should bring back visiting times asap

Could have been worse. A gang of kids running up and down the ward screaming and throwing things..Whilst their lazy feckless mother just sits on her arse smiling at them.

You should have pissed on that blokes chair and his shoes.

.

They sound like the bloody Boswells. Poor sod.

Hope ypu are feeling better.

Depends.. MIL has Parkinsons and is in hospital with a uti. SIL stays all night with her and we do daytime shifts or she would get confused and not know where she is, let alone feed herself.

I could not think of anything worse though then being on a communal ward with no privacy so I do understand!

I'd feel uncomfortable too.
Different on a children's ward.

I was in hospital last year after surgery. It was a mixed ward for head/neck injuries and neurology. The poor guy next to me had jumped off a building trying to kill himself (hence sustaining a head and other injuries and ending up next to me who just had cancer surgery on my head).

He had about 4 bloody visitors at all times. All 16 aunties must have made an appearance, his nan, his nan’s neighbour, a few cousins, his mum, brothers, uncles, some teacher from school. Literally we had the whole town come through the ward. The distant relations sort of sounded like they hadn’t seen him in years. His family came and sat around for hours mostly criticising him, or trying to force him to watch the football that he had no interest in, or trying to get him to eat McDonald’s except he couldn’t even open his mouth because he’d crushed half his skull.

I felt so bad for him. Constantly swamped by people who didn’t seem to want to be there and he just looked tired and in pain. I can’t imagine any of it was good for his mental health.

I took many a piss on the other side of the curtain from them all though. I don’t care about that. 😂

YANBU.

Yes I was surprised to be fair and one lady had family on speakerphone most of the time outside visiting from morning to night too and full groups of visitors within the times. She clearly wasn’t comfortable being alone at all.

They must have thought I was unloved but I was very clear to family to just stay at home as I was only in for 4 days and I just wanted to doze and get myself better. I was pretty happy to spend time alone (novelty) and the nurses were helpful.

You would be amazed at the number of patients who cannot attend even a routine appointment alone and the number who consider it a family day out (multiple generations - grandparents, kids etc). Take the kids off and entertain them so the Mum/Dad can have their appointment in peace.

There is sometimes a very justifiable reason (mobility, anxiety, health conditions etc) but the huge number we see just baffles me. I’ve never once taken my DH to an appointment other than baby scans. If I was in hospital for surgery, i’d want to see him but not stuck to my side 24 hours a day. I’d want the rest and peace to recover (thats the whole point of being there). I do agree with others that nurses are stretched beyond the limit so it can sometimes be helpful to have a family member there (if they are prepared to help and don’t add to the workload!).

I did feel uncomfortable during a recent hospital stay due to the fact that other people had visitors for all of the visiting hours but totally understand that it’s important for company, help and often people advocating for themselves.

I had really bad trapped wind due to the pain relief and antibiotics I was on but I was not going to hold it in and be in pain.

I kept the curtains pulled mostly and kept my headphones on while I watching films or snoozed and tried not to think about the fact that I was farting really loudly all the time they were there. What I couldn’t hear over my headphones I was in denial about.

I personally didn’t need visitors so I just had my husband bring my kids for a flying visit each evening visiting. I know everyone’s different but unless there is a real need I would rather be alone in hospital

🤣 because I guess you're joking?

Agree! I visited my husband on the day he was discharged (was only in a night after early morning surgery the day before) It was a late afternoon pick up and he said 2 patients in his 4 bed ward, had had visitors all day. One of them was a family who were noisy and stayed for hours, and the other was visiting her husband and literally talked all day.. He really didn't get much rest and was pleased to be leaving!

I was ill and so tired I just wanted to sleep, personally I'm not massively social in general and the thought of someone being there and being made to talk for hours on end horrifies me.

but visitors are your own? You are tired, you are telling YOUR visitor to let you sleep?

Normal visitors read or do some work and let you rest anyway, they are there for company, not for being a nuisance. If they are, tell them to leave?