Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked for cash for Christmas?

79 replies

XmasWoes77 · 07/11/2025 07:17

I’m in my mid 20’s and don’t expect anything for Christmas, but my brother texted me last night to ask what I’d like as I do a lot of babysitting for them and they’d like to get me something. I was quite honest and said I was really grateful, but I’d rather cash this year as I’m going on a couple of trips next year and every little helps (for example, even if he gave me £10, that would be a day’s travel around the area I’m visiting sorted). I didn’t mention amounts but just said I’d really appreciate money as opposed to physical things.

he read the text last night and didn’t respond, then this morning he came back and said that he thinks it’s really tacky of me to have asked for cash and that I sound like I’m begging.

was I being unreasonable to have said this?

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 07/11/2025 07:27

Only a sibling would say this, but I suspect it’s what a lot of people think. Obviously he could give you cash or vouchers, that’s the easy option for him, but he wanted to actually get you something tangible. Think of something you do want, and tell him. New suitcase maybe? Decent sunglasses?

Lennonjingles · 07/11/2025 07:24

Dear Bro, yes it might seem tacky, but as you know I’m taking 2 trips next year so any money I can get will go towards this, I can have a meal or visit somewhere and think this was my Christmas present from you.

Personally I would rather give money to go towards something that’s needed.

XmasWoes77 · 07/11/2025 07:24

Agix · 07/11/2025 07:20

YANBU.

If people want to give gifts, they should put the effort in to think of a gift to get you, then get it.

Asking what people want is a total cop out, lacking in thought and effort - which is the whole point of gifts - and at that point may as well be cash so the recipient can get exactly what they want anyway.

I think this year my mindset has just really shifted. I’ve gone from wanting material things (for example they’ve asked in the past if I’d like a gift voucher and then typically gone for a makeup related voucher etc), to just really valuing the experiences I have and how I can have more of them. So I don’t know if It’s a shock for him for me to have said that

OP posts:
Agix · 07/11/2025 07:20

YANBU.

If people want to give gifts, they should put the effort in to think of a gift to get you, then get it.

Asking what people want is a total cop out, lacking in thought and effort - which is the whole point of gifts - and at that point may as well be cash so the recipient can get exactly what they want anyway.

Swipe left for the next trending thread