Mum on class WhatsApp group going on about her MH all the time!

They don't but at the end of the day I'm not on my school watsapp group to burden myself with other people's problems/gossip/bitchiness. I'm there to make school admin easier and make the stress of organising my school child's life easier whilst juggling a demanding job and more than enough life stress of my own. If it became more of a chore for me and the school admin was being drowned out by pointless BS then I'd expect the group creator to nip this in the bud or I'd leave the group.

Sorry somebody struggling is killing your vibe, OP.

I wouldn't do this myself, but no one owns a WhatsApp chat.

Sadly when people like that woman are so selfish and self-centred , and make it all about them, there's not much you can do. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. If no one replies, she might get the message.

Class Whatsapp groups can be so useful, it would be a shame if she was ruining it for everybody.

Just ignore, she's not shy or hiding if she keeps banging on about herself, she's just doing it for attention. She obviously could talk to anyone if she wanted to.

Agreed.

But it wouldn't be from me. I do not have the bandwidth and am VERY boundaried with others.

Maybe a compromise OP? Post a generic list of MH websites and support lines and how to access primary care talking therapies in the main chat, sign off wishing her all the best and leave it there.

My conscience would be clear with that.

To the people strongly implying to OP that this woman's mental health is her responsibility where does that end? When does society become entirely responsible for an individual's happiness? There are rules to live by in society, written and unwritten. Most people would agree that complaining about your mental health on a public group containing presumably the whole class, some of who you might well not even have said 2 words to in the real world, is not appropriate. We all should be kind and look out for each other but we all have the right to set boundaries too. Yes being constantly exposed to this type of thing is emotionally draining even to the best of us never mind if we're under a lot of stress or have mental health issues ourselves. It's not wrong to protect yourself.

I'm not unsympathetic but this kind of thing is why I always leave groups - other people's problems are a burden at the moment due to my own issues.

For a class WA? I want info not to have to scroll through irrelevant stuff. So I'd have to leave the group. And if it is a main means of communication my DCs would miss out. Great.

Someone needs to talk to this woman one to one and point her in the direction of help.

Quite.

You can, but as an admin of a what's app parents group I'd be saying no to that one. If someone else doesn't want to ignore the posts, they can take on that responsibility rather than expecting it of me. So I think best only to raise the issue if you're prepared to take any action yourself.

Dragging you down and depressing you? Gently, please get some support if other people’s problems causes you this level of mental health issues.

Has anyone reached out to her? People are quick enough to say aww wish they'd spoken up when it's too late.

Of course you can.

Ask the admins - not in the chat - to have a word. Or to make a post saying what 5he group is for.

I know a woman that I'm not close to but I'm in several WhatsApp groups that she's in, due to children. In each of them she just pastes the same messages that have no relation to the group. Often trying to sell things, or showing off crafts that her children have done at home. Lovely, with the batch of cakes has nothing to do with whether it's PE day on Monday. It drives me crazy, but I roll my eyes and move on.

I don't mind a little bit of chat on the groups, I think it can be a sign of people getting on well, but the occasional half hour of collective moaning about changes to the food menu, interspersed with usual school admin stuff, absolutely fine. Using the class WhatsApp as your personal Facebook, urgh.

When people reach crisis point and end things, people always say ‘why didn’t they reach out?! Why didn’t they speak to someone?’ This is why they often don’t.

Email from who? It's ok if it's automated or something, but too much to expect someone to take on that responsibility just because they started a what's app group.

One of my old friends from work now does nothing but update me as to her latest mental health issues.

She knows ive been through a lot in the last 18 months with a major bereavement and she doesnt even ask.

It is exhausting and draining and it drags you down.

It is unfair to burden and derail a primary school group chat with mental health issues constantly.

Cant she join mumsnet and vent here?

I'm interested to see Op answer the question if anyone on the group chat replies to the personal offloading messages from this woman.

Yabu for having a class WhatsApp group.

I agree with others than a pinned post at the top of the chat might be beneficial to remind group members that the purpose of the group is sharing class updates and coordinating activities.

Without seeing the messages we don't know the nature of them. If it's along the lines of irrelevant chit chat I would just ignore it. If you get the sense it's a cry for help I might be tempted to either reach out myself (although be careful to redirect to more qualified outlets), speak to another group member for advice/second opinion or raise it with the school safeguarding team.

This is why I hate WA.

I'm under pressure all the time to be in these groups for my hobbies and with friends and I just keep saying no. Yes, it's mildly (only mildy) inconvenient for me, and possibly a bit more inconvenient for others but I've so had it with WA. I suppose, with hobbies etc, I just don't know what the problem was with good old email??? Perhaps someone can enlighten me.

If these groups are set up for non-personal or non-friendhship groups, all pariticipants should get an email or something to remind them to keep it short and relevant and not do chit-chat, rumour-mongering, whinging or post ruddy memes.

It was the incessant memes which did my head in.

Yes, it's unlikely that in a group of this size she is the only one who is ND or has mental health issues.

Had similar once with a mum and baby group, I contacted social care and discussed my concerns. Obviously she was very upset about this and didn't speak to me again, I do know she then spent some time in a mother and baby unit to get mental health support. I hope it helped her.

Could you chat to someone in pastoral support role at school?

@Cinnamon77 That's very unpleasant of you.

People with ADHD are four times more likely to exhibit suicidal behaviour (attempts and death). With a comorbid psychiatric condition, ADHD sufferers are 10 times more likely to exhibit suicidal behaviour. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/suicidal-behaviour-among-persons-with-attentiondeficit-hyperactivity-disorder/6CECF48A64E415C871D233B2607114ED

A recent study by the universities of Cambridge and Bournemouth found that 1 in 4 autistic people had attempted suicide (the rate for non-autistic people is 1 in 37). See BBC article below.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg3594dykdo

A little bit more kindness and compassion in everyday life would go a long way to improving countless lives.

Maybe you could consider this in your future online and real life interactions.

@Jillcc1 , I know the WhatsApp thing is annoying and inappropriate, but the other mum might not be able to judge that due to her ND issues - social communication difficulties is part of the diagnosis for autism for example. The kindest thing to do is probably to have a word with her in private about it - you or one of the other parents might be able to do this.

I'm guessing if she's ND she doesn't really get that she's not supposed to over-share on a group chat like this. Obviously she is trying to reach out but not an appropriate setting.

I wonder if you could signpost her to some MH support groups, theres places near me that do coffee meet ups etc. They may also have their own whatsap groups that she could offload in?

I understand what you’re saying. But aren’t these ad campaigns for the people who don’t talk to anyone about their feelings and that’s what leads to suicide. The point is to reach out to a friend or service who can get you started in getting help. But it seems like this mum is regularly updating people she barely knows, so has no problem talking about her MH.

I have known several people who take the message to mean using a friend as their personal therapist, and it is very draining. Depressing maybe wasn’t the right word but I can understand how the OP would feel because the WhatsApp group isn’t the appropriate place. And if you’re empathetic then it’s jarring to have difficult topics forced on you when you just want to talk about Halloween parties or world book day

Absolutely this. Mental health problems don't discriminate.

People who've never had serious issues with their mental health might not ever be able to have true empathy. They can be kind and sympathetic but it might never be totally empathetic.