Mum on class WhatsApp group going on about her MH all the time!

None that I've been in have had moderators, albeit all have been normal bog standard groups not a 'community' as that poster mentioned. They've all been thrown together by, as you say, some of the more organised and connected parents. I made ours by adding all the numbers I had in my phone already then got a couple of other people to be admins as well in case I ever got locked out. There's no structure or anything like that.

Some of the expectations people have of what's app group admins in this thread are unrealistic. I would not be impressed at being expected to draw up rules or wade into delicate social situations because people expect social labour without being willing to perform it themselves.

They can be either. The junior school is set up by school ( so they can see it I guess?)

The secondary one is just us mums. There has to be a admin either way as that's how WhatsApp works. Unfortunately as I'm a admin I have had to "moderate" as we decided on a group rule of no naming kids or staff by name for a slagging off. Fine to moan about homework, pe depth etc but the moment you want to name a individual you take that issue directly to school not the WhatsApp group. I have never deleted anything and never will. Unless it was illegal. But if Mr X made little Johny cry, you as Johnny's mum go to the DSL, not the parents. We have a info only group that only admin can post to and a more general chat one where we can have a moan. But one of us feeds those moans back to school if enough of us think it's a valid concern.

Depends if the admins want to get involved/agree with OP that it's all of the time. Point is, OP doesn't seem to be admin so she can't control what other people post.

I'm not at school WhatsApp stage (not far off) but do they seriously have moderators?!

I just assumed they were set up by some of the slightly more organised parents but not in any official capacity.

I think someone not telling a pest to "shut up/ fuck off" IS being very kind 😂

I’m not loving all the messages telling the OP to “be kind”. At what point does the OP having joined a group to find out what day is purple sock day mean that she is responsible for absorbing an acquaintance’s problems?

It is possible that this person is mentally not very well and has lost the sense of when it is okay to talk about her problems (perhaps understandable)

OR

She considers the group to be her personal therapy group.

Yet still we have NO examples of what she has said. The original post has been read and everyone has just run with it. Before long someone here will be recommending ringing the emergency services to be sectioned and all she may have done is ask about every ones day.

I guess the inappropriateness of posting about her MH in such a group demonstrates her ND. If you think you can provide practical help, I’d do so; otherwise I’d make the odd sympathetic noise and keep focussed on what you want out of the group. I feel sorry for her. Can imagine this as a storyline in Motherland; the sort where something serious is addressed alongside the comedy.

I suffer massively with my MH and also being neurodivergent, I wouldn't do this tho time & place for it. Could someone who's closer to her (maybe her child's best friends parent) message her privately and just say 'hey I see you're struggling but just so you know, the school group chat isn't an appropriate place to post this.' there's a parenting therapy that I'm in (called the parenting project, not sure if it's all around the country or just my local area tho) maybe worth doing some digging and seeing if there's something like that that she could be recommended.

"Bully" might not be perfectly accurate, but is probably the nicest and less rude term to describe someone who is a nuisance with her unwanted, consistent, behaviour.

Not a bully, but just like that parent who insists on taking 10 or 15mn time of the teacher at pick -up every single day about their little darling. Every single bloody day.
Other parents have things to say too, and if you feel you are that special, at least let them go first.

It's a CLASS group, it's not her one-man show. 😂

So is stoicism.

Send her the number of a therapist. The kind of help she needs is not available on a What'sApp group.

This is what I think and I have no idea how a pp managed to contrive that the poor woman is somehow a "bully."

One goady post thread again?

If you want to chat, why not creating a "chat" group, instead of highjacking an existing one?

It should give a clue that on a group of around 60 parents per class (based on 2 adults per child..), it's always only 1 or 2 that keep spamming the group and no one else is interested or joining 😂

Take the hint. If they wanted to chat, they would, but they REALLY don't want to 😂

this is insane, why should something as simple as a parents group become so complicated, because one person can't' stop banging on about something and has no respect for others.

I am as organised as anything, but ONE class whatsapp group is enough, and helpful to be reminded that xyz birthday or clubs is actually linked to that school class.

Nothing is stopping HER from starting a group/ whatsapp page/ anything about SEN chats and from time to time remind people they can meet there.

It's infuriating that everybody else has to make changes, find solutions and basically waste their time and energy because. of one person, who's too lazy to start her own group, and too self-centred to realise no one cares. Often, not always, but often she's the kind of mum who complains her child is left out of playdates and events.. funny that

If she is neurodiverse maybe she is misunderstanding the social cues. I wonder if anyone has pointed her in the right direction for help if she doesn’t know how to do this.

Or means people who want to chat can do without upsetting the Karens who think that they are in charge of the group rules

This is a good idea. Some people get very isolated when they have children and this is a good way to get to know other parents in a friendly way and is easier than approaching other parents in the play ground and hoping to make conversation. This would encourage friendships. I like it.

We don't know if it is full on script about her and her childrens mental health or if she is just someone who says things like 'there is so much home work, its making my head hurt and I did have a night at the theatre planned' 'DS came home today and he hated PE so much he was crying, anyone elses child feel the same' 'I'm feeling poorly today, is anything going around the class' . We are making assumptions from what the OP said, she may be right or she may have a very low tolerance. Until there are examples we don't actually know to what extent it is. You may not require more information but to make a judgment I would.
Some people may like more chit chat in the group or are just more chatty people, some won't. We are all different. I just think that people here are responding to what they think she is saying without knowing.
We (and possibly the OP) doesn't know if something she has brought up in the group chat has then sparked a conversation in the playground where someone has seen some common ground and wanted to talk further about it and so it makes her feel that it is a place where it is ok to have those other conversations.

Why not make two groups. I have 2 groups in my work chat, one is factual business chat (and has no chatting in the title) and then one chatting group. The business one remains factual and I am able to find business info I need simply. If I need a chat about it or anything worky I, and my colleagues use the other one. People then can either opt in or out of either chat and join in when they want to. They can even mute the chatty one and just check back when they have space to.

This is a really good idea. It also subtly sends a message that she is cluttering up the "core information" thread, without telling her oh shut up, we don't care.

Maybe the groups in your schools have been more like that, but my kids have been across three primary schools, and there's no 'admins' or 'creators' that wield such power. The whatsapps are created more naturally as a full group effort, with no one clear leader(s). Therefore trust no one can truly slap any 'rules' on the table.

If someone feels brave enough to gently have a word with the woman, then more power to them – I hope she takes it well.

@Jillcc1
The answer is communities.

I would speak to the moderators and see if you can switch to a "community" group on WA.

This can have different threads so something like
"Core Class Info" this thread is a place to get core information re: school and class - questions and info only no non related chat
"school social and after school clubs" - this thread is a place to get info and ask questions about after school clubs and socials activities like birthdays
"SEN chat"
"Chit chat"
"everything else"
Etc

This filters her nonsense out of the chat you want while letting "kinder" mums interact and support her with her troubles.

I mean I am neither neurodivergent nor suffering from MH issues so I have no skin in the game but ....wow.

Agreed. The issues she's raising may well affect multiple people in the group, and it's a "safe space" for them outside of that.

I have a friend group chat where if any of us posts anything - maybe their own issue, maybe a light-hearted meme, maybe a plan to meet up etc - with a wholesale rant about her latest issues.

It's like she forgets we exist until reminded, at which point we become avatars of personal support for her.