Mum on class WhatsApp group going on about her MH all the time!

All righty then. 😂

you are the one who is dismissive of the entire group, I am not sure you are as nice as you think you are.

I hope you’re nicer in real life than you’re coming off as on this thread.

Fgs no one has any social awareness anymore! We have a dad like that who shares his every waking thought on there. It's just so inappropriate to expect people to want to read it and to expect them to reply and reaasure them! That is not my job or responsibility!

Yes they may be ND and haven't realised it's the wrong place to share all of that, but surely anyone would notice that if no one replies to your multi paragraph message it probably means they don't give a monkeys?

What's worse is the one I know tries to get people on side when he blames his made up anxieties on the school. (Not being unkind, they are made up, outlandish claims against the faculty that he seems to conjure up to induce a panic attack). Big time CBA.

Give over, it's true.

Most parents roll their eyes and think , but don't say, "oh shut up Doris, I only asked for the link for the timetable song, no one cares how you are feeling today, stop spamming the group"

but by not telling her to "shut up", they are kind 😂

Everybody has mental health issues at one point or another, from illness, exhaustion, trauma, severe loss.. the list goes on. didn't you know that?

I don't think anything of "people", I am just pointing out that the mum who is being a nuisance on the class group, the one who keeps banging on about herself and highjack a group about irrelevant issues is an attention seeker.

She hasn't got the monopoly of struggles, everybody is in the same boat, and she's adding to other parents struggles with her constant rants.

Thank you @BlueSlate your previous post wasn’t unpleasant. And I agree, no one has the right to dump on others without their consent.

Glad you find other people's unhappiness so amusing Have you ever had mental health issues yourself?

Its quite obvious that she wasn't actually saying people with MH problems think they are more special or interesting than anyone else but making the point that, just because other people don't inappropriately share their MH issues, it doesn't mean they dont have them or that their mental wellbeing isn't less improtant.

That's not how the post came across to me, I did feel it read as though pp was trying to suggest people who talk about their MH think they're special and interesting, especially given pp's nasty tone throughout this thread.

I do agree with some of what you said in the rest of your post. But, having had MH issues too in the past, I vividly remember the pain of feeling no one cared, and how much worse that made me feel sometimes. Granted I wouldn't hijack a WhatsApp chat to talk about it, but it's the very inappropriacy of that act that makes me wonder if it's a cry for help and this lady is in a really bad way.

Its quite obvious that she wasn't actually saying people with MH problems think they are more special or interesting than anyone else but making the point that, just because other people don't inappropriately share their MH issues, it doesn't mean they dont have them or that their mental wellbeing isn't less improtant.

She was referring to the people who are suggesting that because this woman is sharing hers, other people should get invovled. Only sharing doesn't make her more worthy of anyone's consideration than anyone else.

I've had Mental Health issues in the past (arguably I still do now but I manage them well).

At the point when I was most vulnerable, I would have been the person to respond to her because (I've since realised) whilst I was fighting someome else's battle and supporting them, I was, and felt justified in, neglecting my own needs with the excuse to myself that I didn't have time or that mine could wait because theirs were more important. Or it just provided a distraction to me. Whilst never asking anyone for support myself.

It's rarely people with strong boundaries who get involved in these situations and often those who have the least capacity to give who do.

Eg there have been countless threads on here over the years where people have posted because a friend and their MH is drainng them in terms of their own mental resources and health. With very few exceptions, the poster then goes on to reveal that they too have significant MH issues.

Many people who have had experience of supporting someone with significant MH issues also know that it isn't a case of "sparing a thought... every now and then." The lack of boundaries often means that the person who is struggling doesn't ever consider the needs or capacity of other people and just ask more and more and lean on them more and more.

Again, there was a thread earlier this year from someone in that position who just couldn't see that the friends who usually offered them most almost constant support weren't actually their 24/7 personal resource and resented the fact they were prioritising their own pre-existing plans rather than drop everything to speak to/see then when they needed them.

Even when someone isn't struggling themselves, that's an awful lot to ask of them.

What an unpleasant post. No, it's not a race to the bottom, but it's not 'my struggle's bigger than yours' top trumps either. It'd be nice to think people could spare a thought for someone else who's struggling every now and then.

Why do you think people who have mental health issues think they are special or more interesting, though?

it's not a race to the bottom, people struggle full stop, mental health or else.

No one is "special" or more interesting because they play the mental health card, other people are just more private.

Well she definitely has issue's.
Yanbu. I also know someone who does the same thing, the group mostly will ignore her, it makes me feel bad but if you respond she'll keep going.
I have known her for over 20 years, her mother was similar, you're not going to change them.
If she was a random school mother I'd respond with an emoji.
Don't get into the habit of mocking her with other parents.

Yes, it's interesting how many responses have suggested OP try and get someone else to deal with this for her.

That’s not the same as struggling with mental health.

Fair enough. In this case, I would probably archive the group for a bit. Someone will get cross and tell her to pack it in.

You assume correctly. Usually someone will be organised enough to set the group up. Apparently a lot of people on this thread think that being the one to put in the initial effort of getting it set up makes your responsible for everyone’s behaviour on the group. I imagine all the people who think this are never the ones who actually bother to do any of the work setting up the group, they just expect everyone else to do it for them and of course make sure no one says anything on the group that could possibly irritate them 🙄

everybody is struggling

Everybody is busy, juggling kids, life.

It “reeks” of illness. It’s ultimately very sad. Especially for her children if she is struggling.

Could I ask the posters who think the OP should be kinder to the mum posting about her struggles, why it is that they don’t think they need to be kind to OP?

The trouble is by trauma dumping like this she’s assuming everyone on the thread has good robust mental health and can cope with being whinged at incessantly.

I’ve had mental health struggles and witnessed family by suicidal. I’ve worked hard and put the hours in with therapy to get to a place where I’m mentally well and honestly would say thriving. But it feels tenuous at times and someone doing that on our class WhatsApp consistently would be a real struggle for me.

as someone who’s been where she is I can honestly say she’s being selfish and needs to find a better outlet.

there are countless free online groups and forums where people have opted in to listening. Not fair on her kids parents WhatsApp group

I was in a similar position, on a specific forum for a hobby. I felt someone trauma dumping about their mh/depression just wasn’t appropriate. There were posters empathising/sympathising and others asking to come back on topic. Ultimately, the nd poster (so they said, nobody knew them irl) flounced and there were lots of recriminations and accusations of sociopathic/lacking in the milk of human kindness etc. I kept well out of it, I don’t need the negativity and I’m not qualified to support mh issues. I wanted to talk about the hobby!

Nobody should be doing this on the class group, it’s not really fair on others who want quick information, not someone’s stream of consciousness about the state of their mh. However, who is going to bell this particular cat?

The thing is, other people may have their own mental health challenges and traumas and might struggle to ignore her posts.

I am sure most people would be sympathetic to her needs but that doesn’t make it OK to hijack the group.

In most cases, they have better things to do.

And it's quicker and easier to ignore the nuisance parent, than starting a whole thing asking them to stick to the point and start an argument...

Most parents only pray they will get bored eventually, realise no one is reacting or replying to them, and they will move on...

That was what I was thinking as well as making a note never to be a school WhatsApp admin.

Unless there is an 'official' admin, some of the suggestions in here, whilst well intentioned, seem to forget that this creates a burden on these people (not to mention extra work - how many parents have time to be 'moderating' multiple WhatsApp groups) who may have just being proactive in setting up a group. All because one person isn't using the group for its intended person.

EDIT: Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut may not be quite the right phrase for this, but I'm struggling to think of another one that conveys coming up with an disproportionately complex/onerous solution to a problem.