To change DDs school as I don’t like the culture at her current school

I would move her, I've seen the fallout of this setup when a mate sent her girl to a high flying school. She was alienated from her friends which didn't lead to a good place. She ended up flunking school with no exams, the complete opposite of what mum thought would be good for her

It’s best to move her now than wait until solid friendships are established.

Yes just move her, it sounds like a nightmare atmosphere and makes life harder for you with logistics anyway. If you move her now she'll barely remember this school in a year's time.

If you like the school in terms of teaching, leavers destinations you should give it longer. Presumably there were qualities about this school you valued over the other one

There is a long way to go from reception to year 6 - things change a lot in terms of maturity, friend groups, parent friendships etc.

There’s always parents you won’t connect with, and plenty you will - it takes some time to find your group.

The most important thing is a place your child likes, has friends and a school that can help her fulfil her potential.

The other parents being a bit unfriendly isn’t a great reason to make such a major change.

The DD may well do when she's older if her own lifestyle isn't the same I was a s scholarship girt at private school so know about these things

I was expecting OP to complain about the Mums turning up wearing pyjamas etc!

If the co-ed school wasn't suitable for her originally, I wonder what makes it suitable now ? Although going to the same school as big brother would seem sensible to me.

i think move her to where her brother is. I think even if single sex is better for girls education in certain ways, I think the benefit is more at secondary school.

Exactly: where do you draw the line here?

You can’t expect to always find a perfect demographic match for your child in any school (and nor should you).

I acknowledge there are plenty of good reasons not to send a child to private school. But some of the attitudes here seem incredibly narrow minded.

Assuming that because people are SAHMs or go to the gym they must all be snobs or that everyone is obsessed with money etc. You can’t lump all of these people together on the basis that they wear Lululemon loungewear.

Also are you saying its bad for a child to grow up around wealthy or ambitious people? Does that mean you would encourage her to be around people only if you see them as the same social class? Would you apply that logic in reverse, ie you would move again if the people at her next school seemed “too poor”?

Private schools aren’t necessarily known for economic diversity. But you seem to have very rigid thinking about which “lane” your child should grow up in. Careful you don’t pass that on to her.

If she hates the school or you can’t afford it it would be totally legitimate to move. But don’t only move because you believe that you are somehow “not worthy”. Its self defeating.

Is your daughter happy, settled and doing well? Would she be unsettled by a change.

Can you manage two sets if fees whilst you pay the notice period.

No, but a very large number will have access to the money that provides all the things the OP complained about. There aren't a lot of checkout workers sending two kids private!

My daughter is at a co-ed that sounds a lot like your daughter's school. We haven't moved her because she's settled and we weren't sure where to go instead but I totally understand where you're coming from.

Some PPs have said because the mums are like this, there's no reason why the girls can't be perfectly nice. This is absolute nonsense. It's a case of monkey see, monkey do. The kids at DD's school, as they get older, turn into miniature versions of their parents, obsessed with money, cars, holidays.... I've known of kids in YEAR 2 bullying others because their parents don't drive luxury SUVs.

It also impacts on friendship possibilities. The SAHMs will eventually start clubbing together, so playdates and even overseas holidays together will follow and your daughter won't be part of that.

If you have an alternative, please seriously consider it because things will only get worse.

I honestly don’t understand why the parent’s outfit choice or perceived economic inactivity is factoring into your choice. Your insecurity is going to do more harm than the presence of an Alo baseball cap.

I got verbally abused on the school run this week because told someone to not smoke over my pram.

that’s school run problems

Give me some Pilates mums please

😂😂😂

If they are both private why didn't you send dd to the same school if you like it? Did you see their results and clock girls do better in single sex schools at STEM or something?

Really odd and makes extra work for yourself.

Sorry I didn't mean to add your quote LIZ but it won't let me remove it now!

I doubt they are all like that! Presumably you equally won’t coincide with other mummies who work. Is the class very small? If you are happier with the culture of the coed and already have friends there it seems an odd choice to go for another school for dd.

OP mentioned VAT at the second school so they are both private.

Kindly OP, you’ve not listed one reason why you would remove you daughter. You have listed reasons for not liking the school and the people, for you, but not for your daughter. You haven’t said if it’s a good school, if it has a good reputation, if it produces well rounded confident human beings who can function in the real world…. god forbid people would live different lives to you! If you don’t like it, move, but you will get this at every school and it doesn’t make it a bad school.

Just be aware you have to pay a term in advance for private schools, so you do need to be clear asap to the school and confirm her place at the state school.

I would move her to the same school as your DS as soon as possible especially if they have a space for her.

My brother is a second hand van dealer and he educated all his children at fee paying schools. One now fits windows, one maintains the vans and one sells them. Not everyone involved in fee paying education is the same!

My DC both went to a Primary school like that, where I was the only Mum in the class with a full-time career.
I’m still friends with a large group of the mums from that school, 30 years on! Yes, most of them had the lifestyle you describe, jetting off to the Caribbean and spending their days at the gym while their DC were at school, getting entertainers and caterers in for parties Etc. at their huge houses.
They all envied the fact that I would, on top of holding down a job, bake the Birthday cakes, devise the games for parties both at home and in the school hall or the very occasional event, and take the DC camping for our holidays, as they weren’t confident enough to do it themselves.
My DC learned that even though we didn’t have the money and lifestyle of their peers, they weren’t really missing out, and by the time they all went to Secondary schools, it all levelled out, but my DC were always much more able to fit in with everyone, regardless of their status.
That start though! The amazing confidence, poise and kindness of my DC has always got them far, and they still count kids they were friends with at 5 among their current friends.

Have you sent your daughter to a private school and your son to a state? It sounds like it. Not sure what you expected, they will never be the same?

These wouldn't be good reasons to move an older child who was happy and settled, but at this age she will adapt quickly. Do it now.

No one will miss you op
In fact… there might well be a collective sigh of a relief and a class celebration

Leaving the moneybit aside...

The first couple of years at school friendships are massively shaped by the parents (often the mums) friendships. If one mum doesn't quite fit in, the child can be unintentionally left out.

So honestly as a family you think you will all be happier at your sons school, I would see about moving.

However, surely you are committed to fees at the current school until at least Easter?

You are right to change her school before she gets to deeply ingrained into the 'posh set'. Do you really want all this money stuff to rub off on your poor child and turn her into a princess? I would put her at your son's school which sounds down to earth. You want the school to turn out a rounded individual who can hit the world running, not some self entitled posho!