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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner called me his ex’s name during sex

89 replies

Taratalk · 06/11/2025 20:06

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

OP posts:
GarlicHound · 06/11/2025 20:17

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:11

Absolutely you are right to be worried.

He was thinking about her while he was sleeping with you.

In my past, I have had three boyfriends back to back with very similar names and I manage not to confuse them or call them the wrong name.

Yeah what you want to do.

Show quote history

Good for you, I guess! I've done it ... I do know why it happened; it was an insignificant sequence of events that were coincidentally the same as at one time with an ex. Brain goes "Ooh, Dave!" before I've even noticed I spoke. Bob none too pleased, I'm squirming.

Why do you think people are always calling their children, pets and partners by each other's names?

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/11/2025 20:14

therewasafishinthepercolator · 06/11/2025 20:08

Do you really believe it was an accident?

My first thought is he did it intentionally to make you insecure.

And yes, definitely red flag. That's shitty behaviour.

That’s very cynical!

I’d assume it was an accident. But I don’t understand why he’s using that as a defence. It’s a very revealing and hurtful accident.

NormasArse · 06/11/2025 20:14

Nooooooo!

🫣

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:11

Taratalk · 06/11/2025 20:06

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

Absolutely you are right to be worried.

He was thinking about her while he was sleeping with you.

In my past, I have had three boyfriends back to back with very similar names and I manage not to confuse them or call them the wrong name.

Yeah what you want to do.

Original poster
Taratalk · 06/11/2025 20:11

BallerinaRadio · 06/11/2025 20:08

How long were they together?

About 1.5/2 years but very on and off

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 06/11/2025 20:10

Maybe come back next time with Oh my God (insert name of ex bf) you are HUGE!!!

Dacatspjs · 06/11/2025 20:10

Didn't mean anything by it isn't an acceptable answer. If he isn't absolutely fucking mortified, bending over backwards to apologise and make it up to you then he's a complete arsehole.

Foresthealing · 06/11/2025 20:09

It was likely accident yes but I would say there’s a reason. It could be she’s popped back up or he’s thought about her or someone said something recently. It may not be a bad thing though but have a sit down chat and be calm about it to try and let him open up

tripleginandtonic · 06/11/2025 20:09

Yabu.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 06/11/2025 20:09

I guess it can happen by mistake

If all is generally well I'd let it go, if not you might want to consider your options

BallerinaRadio · 06/11/2025 20:08

How long were they together?

GarlicHound · 06/11/2025 20:08

Ouch. Painful. It probably was pure accident, our brains blurt stuff out at intense moments. More importantly, is he sorry for what would obviously hurt you, even though it was accidental?

therewasafishinthepercolator · 06/11/2025 20:08

Do you really believe it was an accident?

My first thought is he did it intentionally to make you insecure.

And yes, definitely red flag. That's shitty behaviour.

CosySeason · 06/11/2025 20:07

Accidental or not I would assume she was on his mind in that moment.

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