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Original poster

Partner called me his ex’s name during sex

89 replies

Taratalk · 06/11/2025 20:06

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

OP posts:
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99problems99 · 16/11/2025 23:42

Taratalk · 06/11/2025 20:06

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

What the helly

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/11/2025 14:24

Similar names?

UnderTheStarryNight · 08/11/2025 13:21

Yikes. I did that once during sex with an ex, most embarrassing thing ever. I can honestly say that I wasn’t thinking about him though and I don’t know why I said it.

Pyjamatimenow · 08/11/2025 12:26

Nah, he’s done it on purpose. Mind games

WalkDontWalk · 08/11/2025 12:25

I did this once. Most embarrassing.

Thereafter I only ever had sex with people with the same name, until I found one to marry.

procrastinating20 · 08/11/2025 10:34

Oooh that would be a no from me!!!

GinaDavva · 08/11/2025 10:28

My partner once did this. I wasn’t worried. I didn’t think it was a red flag. I didn’t LTB. We just both got over it and moved on. Ten years later I still haven’t LTB. Sorry I have such appalling standards.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 08/11/2025 10:24

20 years ago I'd have been very upset about this. But now I I get names mixed up all the time and can see how easily done it is and how it doesn't mean anything at all.

Hopingtobeaparent · 08/11/2025 10:22

GarlicHound · 06/11/2025 20:08

Ouch. Painful. It probably was pure accident, our brains blurt stuff out at intense moments. More importantly, is he sorry for what would obviously hurt you, even though it was accidental?

Also this.

(Personally I think the pp suggesting that he did it in purpose to make you feel insecure, probably says more about their previous partners, however, doesn’t mean it’s not true, I just wouldn’t go there so soon. It would all depend on the broader context and his behaviour in general)

WinterBerry40 · 08/11/2025 10:22

I've been divorced over 10 years and have recently called my dh by my ex's name . It didn't mean a thing , never think about him so it wasn't on my mind and came from nowhere ( wasn't during sex though )

Hopingtobeaparent · 08/11/2025 10:18

CosySeason · 06/11/2025 20:07

Accidental or not I would assume she was on his mind in that moment.

This.

ThisKhakiDog · 08/11/2025 07:50

I also did this once during sex with a boyfriend of a couple of years. Called him by an exes name AND THEN made it worse by saying “I’m so sorry, I was just thinking about him” 🙈

In my defence, my ex was giving me a lot of hassle at that moment (we share a child together ) so my thoughts were definitely not sexy.

Duckie2025 · 08/11/2025 02:44

If he's never done it ever before at any other time, then yes it's weird and suss.

Gettingbysomehow · 08/11/2025 02:39

Its not big deal its just force of habit, I've done it myself several times, nobody died.
In other relationships my mother hasn't called me by my correct name for years its always my sisters name and vice versa. It means nothing.

TheLivelyRose · 08/11/2025 01:02

I have to say there are a lot of people that are saying names during sex.

Why?!

It would be so cringeworthy, I think I d lose all desire for them.

MiloMinderbinder · 08/11/2025 00:43

Of course it was an accident. I constantly confuse names. In my childhood home we all went through the names of the whole before finally - weirdly - landing on the one we wanted. Ok, so there is another person who made a mark on him but you are not surprised, are you? Relationships leave traces, it happens. If he says it means nothing, why not believe him? You are just torturing yourself

Betty1305 · 07/11/2025 21:54

I was with my ex for 14 years. Been divorced 13 years. Even now I will say his name if I’m arguing with my partner or if I get agitated. I’ve always thought of it as an association thing as my ex really wound me up.
So, if an exes name was said during sex then that would really bother me.

TheCoralDeer · 07/11/2025 21:43

Pedallleur · 06/11/2025 20:10

Maybe come back next time with Oh my God (insert name of ex bf) you are HUGE!!!

Or maybe...OMG (insert name of ex bf).... you are so much smaller than I remember?? But sorry, (I haven't read all the replies..) I would not be at all immediately forgiving, and would be pretty hurt if this happened to me. 🌹

StarDolphins · 07/11/2025 20:27

My ex frequently calls me ‘babe’ (his gf’s pet name which I hate) and according to chatGPT, it’s emotionally blurred lines.

if he’s not in touch with her and all is well with you both, I’d just see it as a slip
up.

islanddreamer1 · 07/11/2025 20:21

Not the same scenario but I once introduced my husband by my ex husband’s name

(dont’t like the ex and don’t ever think of him.) Also called my husband Rodger …I don’t even know a Rodger 😂…so I don’t think it necessarily means your partner was fantasising about an ex.

Kellogs4 · 07/11/2025 19:52

Does he seem genuinely sorry? Other than this does he treat you well OP?

sunnyandrainy · 07/11/2025 19:04

I’ve been with my boyfriend over 4 years and adore him and I’ve called him my ex’s name. Once in bed. No idea why. Brain fart. Obvs it’s not ideal. But I seriously loathe my ex - I asked for the divorce etc etc.. so no; it wasn’t reflective of some deep seated ongoing desire for my ex. sometimes your brain just does weird shit.

Flakey99 · 07/11/2025 18:51

No, not necessarily a red flag. DH did the same in the early days of our relationship and called me his ex’s name by accident during sex.
It only happened once and we’ve been together over 20 yrs now.

user1485851222 · 07/11/2025 18:35

Not a red flag. I called DH my ex's name albeit not during/after sex. But I do remember saying DH's name silently over & over in my head when we 1st started having sex as I was worried I'd say my ex's name. This has happened to alot of people

BlueEyedBogWitch · 07/11/2025 09:23

My DH and I have both done it, early on in our relationship. Not during sex, I don’t think, but I can see how that could easily happen. You’re not exactly thinking at a time like that, are you?

It stings a bit, but you get over it 😂