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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mid argument with boyfriend

78 replies

Whatwouldyoudo111 · 06/11/2025 19:02

Will try to keep this short and sweet, however I need opinions.

As per the title, mid argument with boyfriend as I feel he has lied to me about where he stayed on two separate occasions earlier in our relationship (have been together for 13 months). He has denied this, but regardless during this argument I spitefully brought up his ex partner, insinuating she is a plain Jane (yes I know) and he came back to me and said she isn’t she has great tits a great ass and an athletic body she’s fit. He then reaffirmed she does have great tits!

He has since apologised and has said he said it to hurt me, but I honestly feel he’s crossed a serious line in already a pretty serious predicament we were in.

wwyd? AIBU? For the record he is 33.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldyoudo111 · 06/11/2025 21:24

MayWelland · 06/11/2025 20:47

The problem is, OP, that you didn’t give that context in your first post, so the people commenting were doing so with the limited information you provided. Mumsnet users are a lot of things, but I don’t think any of us are clairvoyant.

Understood - I just wanted to keep it short and sweet as per my OP but I understand the context entirely was not there.

thank you

OP posts:
Gottocopebymyself · 06/11/2025 20:59

MissJoGrant · 06/11/2025 20:56

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yes.

OP: What a waste of time (flounce).

Given OP's update do you really feel no sympathy for her?
That is pretty callous.

MissJoGrant · 06/11/2025 20:56

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yes.

OP: What a waste of time (flounce).

Grilledxribs · 06/11/2025 20:53

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:51

Why are you so angry at a complete stranger enough to call her a bitch?

Honest to god what is wrong with people.

Show quote history

Im not angry and i did not call her one.
Im just agreeing with others.

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:51

Grilledxribs · 06/11/2025 20:49

She was acting like one.
And as soon as netters see through it in comes the dip feed.

Show quote history

Why are you so angry at a complete stranger enough to call her a bitch?

Honest to god what is wrong with people.

MayWelland · 06/11/2025 20:49

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:48

But there was no need for some posters to call her a bitch

Show quote history

Agreed. I am not defending that. It’s just that she’s in a bit of a huff with those who called her out, saying it was ‘unsupportive’ but she asked us to comment and that’s what she gave us

Grilledxribs · 06/11/2025 20:49

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:48

But there was no need for some posters to call her a bitch

Show quote history

She was acting like one.
And as soon as netters see through it in comes the dip feed.

Grilledxribs · 06/11/2025 20:48

As always on MN if the op dont get folk on her side they come back with a dip feed of hes did this he did that bla bla bla.
If you can dish it out you have to take it back.

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:48

MayWelland · 06/11/2025 20:47

The problem is, OP, that you didn’t give that context in your first post, so the people commenting were doing so with the limited information you provided. Mumsnet users are a lot of things, but I don’t think any of us are clairvoyant.

But there was no need for some posters to call her a bitch

MayWelland · 06/11/2025 20:47

The problem is, OP, that you didn’t give that context in your first post, so the people commenting were doing so with the limited information you provided. Mumsnet users are a lot of things, but I don’t think any of us are clairvoyant.

Gottocopebymyself · 06/11/2025 20:36

Honestly OP he sounds absolutely horrible and you are well shot of him.

You are worth much more than being with him and his disgusting negging.

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 20:35

Whatwouldyoudo111 · 06/11/2025 20:26

Thank you for the lack of support. I am 35.

For context, I had blocked him on every single Channel for multiple things. He called me at 05.20am continuously until I answered, I did. In anger after amounts of abuse I said, “please go back to your plain Jane ex” because he continuously speaks unkindly about my exDP who is the father of my children and quite frankly at that time of day, and with everything else I’d had enough and yes I was being petty! He has called me fat twice in the last two weeks (I’m 50kg and a size 6/8 so I am not). So yes when he said she is not she has great tits great ass and an athletic body, on top of the other abuse it did hit a nerve because he likes to put me down! I do also have “great tits” but I don’t need to hear about hers. I am not insecure but there is a line, and a boundary when it comes to commenting on ex partners bodies so disrespectfully to the woman you are trying to work things out with.

i won’t be commenting again. What a waste of time with women who I felt may be a more supportive community.

I'm sorry you didn't get much support.And the comments call in your names are unacceptable.

I will very rarely take the side of a man over a woman's in any arguments.

He sounds like an absolute b, and probably still s* his ex

Dump.

I use speech recognition?Because i'm dyslexic, and it bleaps out the swear words.

steff13 · 06/11/2025 20:34

Well your update makes him sound like a dick. But it also seems like you picked a fight about something that happened a while ago and should have been resolved, which isn't great. Probably best you call time on this relationship.

JudgeBread · 06/11/2025 20:29

I mean if you're going to be a childish bitch you can't really be surprised when he's a childish bitch right back at you.

At 35 years of age too. Grow up honestly.

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudo111 · 06/11/2025 20:26

Thank you for the lack of support. I am 35.

For context, I had blocked him on every single Channel for multiple things. He called me at 05.20am continuously until I answered, I did. In anger after amounts of abuse I said, “please go back to your plain Jane ex” because he continuously speaks unkindly about my exDP who is the father of my children and quite frankly at that time of day, and with everything else I’d had enough and yes I was being petty! He has called me fat twice in the last two weeks (I’m 50kg and a size 6/8 so I am not). So yes when he said she is not she has great tits great ass and an athletic body, on top of the other abuse it did hit a nerve because he likes to put me down! I do also have “great tits” but I don’t need to hear about hers. I am not insecure but there is a line, and a boundary when it comes to commenting on ex partners bodies so disrespectfully to the woman you are trying to work things out with.

i won’t be commenting again. What a waste of time with women who I felt may be a more supportive community.

OP posts:
Cloudynov · 06/11/2025 20:14

He’s 33, how old are you - 13? Ridiculously immature.

Gottocopebymyself · 06/11/2025 20:10

What makes you think he has lied to you about where he stayed OP?
It does sound from your comment about his ex that you think he stayed with her.
And he obviously still has feelings about her other wise he wouldn't have leapt to her defense.
Perhaps you should conentrale on the issue of him lying to you. If you can't believe what he tells you about where he was you cant trust him. And your relationship is over

TessSaysYes · 06/11/2025 20:04

So neither of you burst out laughing? ...it sounds a bit comic really...just what you need to refuse a situation.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 06/11/2025 20:01

You come off worse here tbh

No87 · 06/11/2025 19:59

You crossed the line first, you get what you deserve. Why are you bringing up something that happened months ago?

Happyjoe · 06/11/2025 19:54

Silly argument, you said stupid things you shouldn't have, you didn't like the reply. Then you came here on MN to get people to try and take your 'side', I presume to throw back at fella..
You both need to grow up imo, even if that means knowing you may not be right for each other.

WhatAKnob47 · 06/11/2025 19:54

I'd end the relationship. If this is how you resolve issues and communicate then your fucked. You sound insecure, rightly or wrongly, i dont know. Hes throwing out shit to hurt you on purpose and potentially bring shady at the start of the relationship. You're ment to be in the honeymoon period. If its like this now it will only get worse.

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 19:44

menopausalfart · 06/11/2025 19:43

What does his ex have to do with your argument?

I've posted a couple of times but she hasn't been back to reply.

The argument started because she suspected he had been lying to her on two occasions about where he was.

I read between the lines and thought maybe she threw his ex in his face because she thought he was with her.

Given his positive comments about his ex's body, possibly he was with his ex.

Maybe there's a whole plot line.She's left out.

DaisyChain505 · 06/11/2025 19:44

How old are you. This sounds like a 16 year olds relationship and isn’t healthy.

menopausalfart · 06/11/2025 19:43

What does his ex have to do with your argument?