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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stain on sofa I'm really cross

143 replies

Lotsnlotsoflove · 06/11/2025 18:48

I have recently (in the last 6 months) moved into a new house and renovated it. I've been really pleased with the design and finish and I really enjoy being in this space I have carefully curated. Being in a nice space is important to me and this is my home. Recently, my MiL has come to live with us due to some difficult circumstances, including the death of my FiL. In general, she is helpful and no problem to have around. Anyway, the crux of this post is that today she managed to get a huge ink stain on my beautiful velvet sofa and it is not removable or a fixable stain. I am really upset, it has ruined the item of furniture, and we cannot afford to replace it. MiL is in tears, and DH is cross with me, saying I just need to suck it up, as it was an accident. MiL is not in a position to replace it either. I have told him I am going to buy another sofa on my credit card, and we won't have a holiday next year. Now we aren't speaking. AIBU?

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 06/11/2025 22:34

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 06/11/2025 19:02

Surely mil covers the cost of a new sofa? Who uses ink anywhere but a bloody table?

Everyone

TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 06/11/2025 22:31

I think this is one of those accidents that wouldn't happen if she had taken more care.

Why was there even ink near the sofa? Surely that's a table item, to be used at a table and desk.

Icebreakhell · 06/11/2025 22:30

crappycrapcrap · 06/11/2025 22:22

It was an accident

Hmm careless really. How do you get large amounts of ink over a sofa?

MaryLennoxsScowl · 06/11/2025 22:28

I second using milk! I had ink all over a skirt and had tried vanish, vodka (they said rubbing alcohol and that’s what I had) and washed it at least three times, to no avail, and someone said try milk and even though the stain was well ground in by then it still worked.

Cuppasoups · 06/11/2025 22:28

I can understand your upset.
You are a very kind woman having your MIL to live with you.
It may have been an accident but you have every right to be pissed off.
Your husband has zero right to be pissed, this is your home.
I hope you can sort it or the company csn help with a piece of material to have part of it re covered?
If she's going to be with you long term, get a throw.
Don't replace it.
She sounds very careless.
I have 4 children and with 4 different sofas this has never happened.

crappycrapcrap · 06/11/2025 22:22

It was an accident

Francestein · 06/11/2025 22:21

What kind of ink was it? If gel ink, rubbing alcohol may get it out. You’d have to get a towel or something underneath it to blot against. I’d be reluctant to rub at the pile too much so you’d have to do this repeatedly.

kittybloom · 06/11/2025 22:17

Do you follow Nancy Birtswhisle on insta? She does great ‘green’ cleaning tips that actually work and I think she has one for removing ink (or perhaps biro). You’ve nothing to lose…

user2848502016 · 06/11/2025 22:16

If she had done it deliberately fair enough but accidents happen, life’s too short to get this worked up about a sofa

Icebreakhell · 06/11/2025 22:11

It’s ok to be upset, using ink on a new sofa wasn’t very sensible. Reminds me of the time MIL threw a full glass of red wine over our new cream sofa and didn’t offer to clean it (apparently she has weak wrists). I spent a fortune cleaning it then the kitten decided to shred it to bits!

Id probably try to get it fixed. Lots of suggestions above. If stubborn stain then claim on house insurance.

FullOfMomsense · 06/11/2025 22:05

Send us a photo of the stain and the type of ink, it's worth a try, someone might know a trick. If it's ruined it can't get worse x

Ubugly · 06/11/2025 21:55

No point in buying a new one as a stain may get on that one to?

Allseeingallknowing · 06/11/2025 21:52

OP - when you bought the sofa did you not think of how practical it was, whether it could be cleaned if there was an accident? Sofas are there to be used, not ornamental . It is horrible when something you value is spoilt, but is this important enough to upset a family member? Even if you replace it, you’re always going to worry about someone spilling something on it or damaging the fabric. You’ve been given good advice, recovering etc. if you do make sure it’s not so special that it can’t be used.

winnieranran · 06/11/2025 21:39

Yes youre being very unreasonable. you've pushed the poor lady to tears???? Thats not acceptable tbh

InterestedDad37 · 06/11/2025 21:33

Nickname her "Inky" from now on 🙂

WalkDontWalk · 06/11/2025 21:32

ThisCanFuckOffToo · 06/11/2025 19:43

“Carefully curated” is the wankiest term I’ve ever heard. You’ve bought stuff you liked, that’s all.

Yanbu to be upset but unless your MIL spitefully rubbed ink on your sofa to piss you off then YABU.

Have you tried everything? I’ve got a velvet sofa and it is indestructible.

(edited, LIKED not KILLED, lol 😂)

Edited

Yeah, lost me at ‘curated’ too. If the OP had got a ‘performative’ in there too, I’d’ve been round her place with a bottle of violet Quink.

TheOnlyWayisGerard · 06/11/2025 21:27

I’ve used hairspray to get ink off a sofa before. Just spray liberally and dab with a dry cloth. Worked beautifully. Admittedly it wasn’t velvet, but might be worth a try on a small section of the stain?

firstofallimadelight · 06/11/2025 21:25

You are allowed to be upset. It’s an expensive piece of furniture and it’s ruined. Yes it’s an accident but how on earth did it happen.

Magicunicornpower · 06/11/2025 21:25

Have it reupholstered. We've done that with ours and looks good as new

godmum56 · 06/11/2025 21:24

Use Things. Love People.

Charlize43 · 06/11/2025 21:04

Life is too short to be crying over spilt ink. Buy a throw and move on.

ThroughTheRedDoor · 06/11/2025 21:02

Ah mate. It is just a sofa.

If its the seat pad you could get it recovered.

I feel sad for mil.

nam3c4ang3 · 06/11/2025 21:01

You’re going to replace it on credit and not go on holiday next year? Are you serious? And what happens when there’s another stain?

Heronwatcher · 06/11/2025 20:59

You sound insufferable and controlling. A home is for living in and using not being curated which is a totally wanky phrase only wannabe influencers use. Your MIL is a bereaved woman and it’s not for you to dictate what you spend family money on like a despot.

YWNBU to be annoyed but you need to take a step back, give your head a wobble and buy a throw. Or some replacement covers.

abracadabra1980 · 06/11/2025 20:54

Ffs; if you can afford such a princely sofa that means so much to you, either you have scrimped on getting it stainguarded, or on your home insurance cover. From someone who also likes a pristine home as much as practicable, I appreciate that my family are priceless belongings - both human and animal, they come with dirt, dust spillages and breaks, but they are uninsurable because they are priceless. My cream sofa and beautiful furnishings, not so much.