Suicide and blame

It’s not your fault of course

but none of us have the warts and all details of why you decided to go no contact and that may or may not have been a contributing factor in her decision to take her life but contributing factors doesn’t equal blame

Might be unpopular but I don't think suicide is ever anyone's fault.

I think the person who decides to take their life has lost all rational thought and processing. Their mental illness makes them think that it's a good decision or that is the only thing that will stop their mental anguish and torture.

You are absolutely NOT to blame for her suicide. She wasn't even in a right thinking frame of mind.

Please be kinder to yourself.

Your dad is a fucking bastard for telling you that and I'd consider how much if a parent he really is.

I think the voting is confusing - "yabu to think it was your fault" or "yanbu, of course it wasn't your fault"

OP so sorry you're feeling like this, but honestly you did what was right for you at the time. We can't live like our lives thinking "I better not do X or someone might kill themselves"

Not your fault OP. Your mum must have been a very unwell lady. But she made the choice and the accountability for that lies with her, not you.

No. It is not your fault. Coping with the suicide of a loved one is hard enough, without taking on guilt. Your mom.made the decision to do this. My partner did the same. I had no idea he was feeling so unwell. I am not being harsh just stating the facts. It has been nearly 4 years since this happened to.my partner. I still can't understand it. He had periods where it was obvious that he was unwell. His behaviour towards me, apathy and being disconnected, nearly broke me. I understand OP. Please be kind to yourself.

Absolutely not your fault. It was her choice to take.

Absolutely not. People who take their own lives are very unwell and the decision is a complex one with lots of contributing factors. Your mum clearly led a troubled life that you didn't cause and couldn't cure. Please don't place too much weight on the forums. This means only that the estrangement was something she thought about. It doesn't mean it was the cause or even the trigger for her decision.

Absolutely not OP, under any circumstances.
Keep your distance from your father.
No decent father would tell you that.
Protect yourself from him too.

You stepped away from your mother to protect your mental health.
What your mother chose to do is on her.

I hope you consider therapy. It sounds as if you have suffered deeply.

I don’t know how to vote on this without it being open to misinterpretation.

But no. None of this is your fault. But guilt is a very normal stage of grief. And grief looks different to different people. Please reach out to support groups. You deserve the space to explore your emotions and unpack everything in confidence. But again, this was absolutely not your fault.

Who the F is considers the OP unreasonable? Must be a lot of estranged parents on here trolling the vote.

NO, OP. It's not your fault. We don't control what other people do and if they are volatile with us we can only protect ourselves by severing ties.

No one is respons8ble for another s decision

Contact Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - Overcoming the isolation of people bereaved by suicide share.google/YvBZjm0ecpUp6T6cQ

No it’s not your fault. I am sure you would not have made the decision to go NC easily, but did it for a reason, her behaviours? She chose to behave in that way

She may well have been looking on sites to see what she needed to do to make it better but She chose to commit suicide, that was her decision and nothing to do with you

No it's not your fault at all, not in any way. I know the pain of suicide and the heartache is like nothing else but I promise you that you are not to blame.