To not want to babysit neighbours kids

Say I am sorry but I like to drink lots of wine in the evening

Don’t hesitate to say no. It’s extraordinary that’s she’s asked you. And don’t mention being available for emergencies as she will have these on a daily basis.

'NO' would be the answer here.

If you want to be kind - you could say that you would help out on occasions... but that on those occasions your hourly rate would be ££££ (make sure it is enough to compensate for your time - and perhaps higher than a child-minders would be.)

Your hours are precious and not for free.

No, this is completely unreasonable from your neighbour. It's one thing to step in in an emergency (eg child is ill, other child needs to get to school) and quite another to be the childcare solution. She's showing a complete lack of respect towards you. In fact in your shoes I wouldn't agree to any more babysitting at all because NDN is the definition of "give them an inch and they take a mile".

What does she ever do for you in return?

God act your age. She’s taking advantage of you. Say no to anything she asks in future.

Nope here’s the number for a childminder! She is taking advantage. I think you need to say no more often.

You need to learn the power of the word No, this is a ridiculous ask. Once in a blue moon as a favour is totally fine and kind of you but a regular thing like this? Absolutely not. You are not responsible for her situation. You don’t need an excuse, just say no it doesn’t suit me and I hope you find a solution.

Id say to her that it's better if she found someone who can babysit in a regular basis..as you will be out with friends some evenings so it wouldn't be consistent.
Also take up a hobby that is weekly evening class...like sewing

You are not free childcare. Just say no

My reply would be firm, but fair.

Congratulations on the new job.
I understand you’re in a tough spot, but I can’t be your childcare option. You’ll need to make other arrangements.

If she comes back with “But can’t you just X”or “I know you can manage Tues because…” just say

No, I can’t. I’ve already said I’m not available.

If she pushes back say
It’s a no. Please don’t ask again.

It’s kind of you to think of her but she is not thinking of you in any way but as a resource to fix her problem.

This person is not your friend and is very selfish . Dose she do anything for you ?
You dont owe her anything , just make something up ... say your in meetings (on zoom etc) or say your busy - you dont have to explain yourself to her .

Ooft, don’t do this. Be friendly but firm - I can’t commit/too busy/dont want to, etc, on repeat. If you agree, you’ll be on the hook until The End Of Time…

OP, this is a ridiculously big ask. At this rate, she’ll be asking you to make their tea and put them to bed as well. The answer to this CF neighbour is NO.

You say no and keep on saying no and don't be apologetic. With cheeky people like this once you do a kind thing for them, they see you as fair game. She might need more support but that's not your problem. If she asks you over text, just don't reply.

“Hi, no sorry I can’t help with that. There’s a list here of local childcare that might be helpful (add link to council page).”

Her next message will be a bit whiney. Agree with her that “It’s really tough isn’t it”. If she asks again say “No, like I said already, I can’t do that.” Ignore any subsequent messages on that subject.

FFS CF at its finest here!
Honestly tell you’re too busy with life to commit to this, she needs to find an alternate solution. Obvs if you ask her a favour be prepared for a no, but you cannot concentrate on caring for kids and on Teams / work.

I was extremely upset with her by message (which she replied to only with a sad emoji) and when she picked them up, especially as her older child was quite tricky in a few ways - fine for a one off planned play date but not unexpectedly or on a regular basis - and her three year old still in nappies, which again isn't in itself a big deal but as neither of mine were by then and I was seven months pregnant it didn't help! She had sent them with a bag containing pastries from the bakery for everyone, and spare clothes and nappies, and so seemed to think she was barely asking anything of me, especially as she'd picked them up "for" me and then gone back to work... After she picked them up I was left feeling she thought I was making a fuss over nothing.

I told her by message after pick up that I wouldn't be home after school the next day and did take a bit of a coward's way out by going out with my two straight from pick-up. I assume her mother went back to looking after them as she didn't ask again about after school care, but she didn't get upset or seem offended, our DC2s were friends through primary school although they grew apart later.

No absolutely not. I work from home and there's no way I could look after a child at the same time. Advice her you don't mind a one off emergency, but nothing on a regular basis as you still have to work from home. You cannot take breaks whenever you want. Even if you were allowed to take a massive break to look after her child(ren), you'd still have to make up the hour later. That means you'd have to work the evening because of her?! Please don't be a wet drip, tell her politely that this won't be possible. I'd say, "sorry, my job has changed slightly meaning I have more meetings and phone calls to make. It's not possible to babysit while I'm working anymore. I think you're better off finding a childminder."

This is outrageously cheeky of her, and you would be crazy to agree. Definitely don't do this.

Seriously OP, I can be a bit of a doormat but even I would tell her to fuck off. Unless you're the kids' dad that is.

Not on here I don't think, though I've told lots of people IRL so I should probably name change 🫣

I bet the people that voted YABU have mostly done so because you said you are considering it!

You obviously need to say no. She's a cheeky cow so she will get the hump with you, but she would down the line anyway when you for whatever reason couldn't hop to her convenience, and she's be enraged that covering childcare is her issue not yours - she's the walking epitome of no good deed going unpunished, so you might as well get the fallout over with now before you've given up multiple evenings.

Say it's something you can't commit to and say no. Tell her to visit childcare.co.uk and advise for a nanny who will watch her child from the child house.